[ENFP] ENFP Pet Peeves

[seeker22]

1. Having someone willingly give to me (whether time, attention, favors, errands, cooking, or WHATEVER), and then accuse me of using them when I don't respond in kind. Hello!? I never asked for any of that in the first place! If I want to do something nice for you, I will. But don't try and manipulate me into it by giving giving giving to me and expecting me to do the same just because you did so for me.

2. Being accused of being an atrocious flirt with no boundaries.

3. Being told "you're too intense."

4. Being told "that's a crazy idea."

5. Being told "you're too sensitive."

Ha ha?! Any others?

 

[kyuuei]

^ The first one is easily argued.. if someone is giving that much to me, I try to stop them right then and there so that the stated situation never occurs. I don't take everything offered to me. Doing so would be abusing a system where.. yes.. eventually nice people want nice things back. More importantly, you're not being much of a friend if you let people that act like door mats continue that behavior with you. You'd be better off helping them by rejecting their attempts.

Anyways, having people 'fall in love' with you when they hardly know you.

People that think I'm soo awesome, then get bored with me because I turn out to be a pretty standard, normal human being.

People that take advantage of my intense friendships.

People that mistake my kindness for weakness.

People that "test my boundaries." .. Let me assure you, if you're my friend, there aren't any particular boundaries. THere just comes a point where the levee's break and after that you're done.

When people genuinely don't give a shit if they hurt me even though they're my friend.

 

[seeker22]

I f someone is giving that much to me, I try to stop them right then and there so that the stated situation never occurs.

So true. For some reason ENFPs seem to have an unspoken magnetism or charisma that kind of puts "a spell" on people and makes them want to do nice things. In these cases - I do ask them to stop - BUT THEY KEEP DOING IT!

having people 'fall in love' with you when they hardly know you.

Again, BINGO!!!! Soooo true! So what the heck are they really falling in love with - an illusion?

 

[kyuuei]

People that are ALWAYS blunt and cut-throat with me.. but lord forbid I EVER say anything in a more cross tone than my usual polite nature.

 

[Amargith]

people that insist on forcing me to do things their way, and when I refuse, whine about what a lousy friend I am, or what a stupid idiot I am for not listening to them.

people who consider you inferior based on the fact that you don't want and therefore don't pursue/have the same lifestyle they do.

 

[marmandahalf]

having people 'fall in love' with you when they hardly know you.

me too, dude. it's a curse. and it's never the ones you'd actually date...

 

[seeker22]

and it's never the ones you'd actually date...

That is SOOOOO the clincher!!!! It's never the one I WANT to have pursue me!! @#$%@#!!!

 

[marmandahalf]

That is SOOOOO the clincher!!!! It's never the one I WANT to have pursue me!! @#$%@#!!!

Our lives suck, huh?

 

[soleil]

I agree with all the ones posted.

When people expect you to carry a whole conversation. Ugh...people do this to me all the time. They will call & stay quiet & push me into talking...I am not the one who called so initiate the conversation! This happens in person too.

Being called too serious/deep.

People misinterpreting my kindness/openness for something more (romantic).

Being told that I am too introverted/shy.

 

[Clownmaster]

I agree with all the ones posted.

When people expect you to carry a whole conversation. Ugh...people do this to me all the time. They will call & stay quiet & push me into talking...I am not the one who called so initiate the conversation! This happens in person too.

I totally agree.

I'm capable of carrying a room full of conversations, doing 90% of the work. The problem comes whenever I don't feel like operating as the center of attention and root of all laughter. When I want to sit back and chill, people bother me with the "whats wrong"s and the "entertain me, Evan" bullshit that makes me want to stuff their faces through a cheese grater.

Among my closer circle of friends however, I NEVER have this problem.

 

[seeker22]

When people expect you to carry a whole conversation.

Oh!!! Good one!! This drives me crazy! I am not here to entertain... The EXCHANGE/INTERACTION is what makes it fun!

These people I think of as conversational "takers" because they do not CONTRIBUTE to the conversation!

Just say no to MONOLOGUES!

We are not toys that you just wind up and watch go...

 

[marmandahalf]

Oh!!! Good one!! This drives me crazy! I am not here to entertain... The EXCHANGE/INTERACTION is what makes it fun!

These people I think of as conversational "takers" because they do not CONTRIBUTE to the conversation!

Just say no to MONOLOGUES!

We are not toys that you just wind up and watch go...

Interesting. I have trouble getting ENFPs in my life to shut up and share the spotlight.

 

[kiddykat]

One of my personal pet-peeves is when I state my opinion and people take it personally, like I really meant to intend to make a point torwards them? I think as an ENFP, most of my intentions are pretty pure, so should someone try to call me out on something they're pissed off about bc of what I said, I don't really mean it to them, personally?

Another one is the feeling of confinement.

A 3rd one, oddly? When people follow me, or don't seem to have their own thoughts or opinions, and would rather identify it through someone else? Sometimes, I think it's a cover-up.. maybe they 'pretend' to, and that 'pretending' really is one of my pet-peeves- bc I'd rather have things said straight then and there. Please, let's cut to the chase so we can have fun, dammit!

 

[Shaula]

Aw, I'm disappointed. I thought this topic was going to be pet peeves ABOUT ENFPs.


By the way, I'm kidding. (Well... kinda...)

 

[seeker22]

Interesting. I have trouble getting ENFPs in my life to shut up and share the spotlight.

Ha ha! I actually enjoy a balance of talk/listen...

 

[Lady_X]

i hate constant nagging!! my god do i hate the nagging!

i don't like too much negativity and bitching about this or that...traffic...everybody sucks...they're all so stupid....whatever...shut the hell up...you're bringin me down into your lil wretched place...leave me be.

 

[Serendipity]

i hate constant nagging!! my god do i hate the nagging!

i don't like too much negativity and bitching about this or that...traffic...everybody sucks...they're all so stupid....whatever...shut the hell up...you're bringin me down into your lil wretched place...leave me be.

I agree.

Complaints and no wish to do anything about it... That almost makes me want to jump out of the conversation. I usually offer simple practical ways to do something about it but... No. Of course not. Complain is what people around me like to do. Argh!

Oh well ;P


Now, since you are all familiar with the scene of MBTI (of which I do not trust the least any more.). A certain "INTP" in my surrounding tends to not speak much at all, so monologues tend to be the way of communication. Whenever she does speak I am quiet as a mouse. Love her voice. :3
Never had a relationship like this before. I can say whatever is on my head without getting weird looks and .. wow. (yes, lovesick. Have to write a row in eeeevery post. Because I can. MOHAHAHAHA)

 

[alexx]

-Being called a flake (Gotten better as I've gotten older)
-People falling in love too easily (I find myself not able to back them down because it takes stern language and I am just not capable of that unless someone is being a jerk)
-Being told I am too touchy-feely
-Flirting, or what some consider flirting (I think I'm being nice but others don't view it that way)
-Unfairness or perceived unfairness. Can't STAND that - nothing sets me off faster
-Being walked on. You know they are doing it but you really think that at the core most people are good and they don't realize that they are doing it so you go along with it. You know, giving someone the benefit of the doubt. I also am a Trust until I'm given a reason not to versus a Trust when you've earned it type and my ability to forgive almost anything doesn't help AT ALL.
-Being called naive for giving a homeless person money. Yeah - I know some are fakers, but what if that 5.00 bought someone that really needed it a meal? Those nice deeds stick out in my mind. Maybe the act itself assists in turning someone's life around or betters it some. I know its small but I am very grateful for any kindness shown me, and I like to think others are similar.

 

[kyuuei]

One of my personal pet-peeves is when I state my opinion and people take it personally, like I really meant to intend to make a point torwards them? I think as an ENFP, most of my intentions are pretty pure, so should someone try to call me out on something they're pissed off about bc of what I said, I don't really mean it to them, personally?

Another one is the feeling of confinement.

A 3rd one, oddly? When people follow me, or don't seem to have their own thoughts or opinions, and would rather identify it through someone else? Sometimes, I think it's a cover-up.. maybe they 'pretend' to, and that 'pretending' really is one of my pet-peeves- bc I'd rather have things said straight then and there. Please, let's cut to the chase so we can have fun, dammit!

Very good points. As I said earlier, people throw their opinions at me like I'm expected to take them without bias.. but the instant I don't agree with them, or state my own objective opinion.. people feel like i'm incapable of not being personal about anything. I'm not this squishy sensitive prick. I can be objective, and make a harsh statement without intending to be insulting.. people make assumptions on my sometimes Fish way of being.

I also dislike confinement feelings, especially in relationships. People who need more attention than I do shouldn't be with me.

And YES YES YES. I'm all for backing your friends up, and saying what you mean to say.. but honestly, agreeing with me just because I'm saying it isn't cool. I also can't stand it if I think I'm truly right about something, which isn't too often I don't think, and I get ganged up on just because everyone is trying to back up their friends. If it gets personal, it's different, but otherwise have some indefuckingpendence.

 

[soleil]

I totally agree.

I'm capable of carrying a room full of conversations, doing 90% of the work. The problem comes whenever I don't feel like operating as the center of attention and root of all laughter. When I want to sit back and chill, people bother me with the "whats wrong"s and the "entertain me, Evan" bullshit that makes me want to stuff their faces through a cheese grater.

Among my closer circle of friends however, I NEVER have this problem.

Yeah, it's annoying. It puts too much pressure on me when I am not up to it. It also feels one-sided. I noticed I don't talk much unless someone initiates it with me. I get that "amuse me" "entertain me" vibe & I am not feeling it. If you want to talk, talk. I just enjoy having genuine conversations.