[ENFP] ENFPs: Hopeless Flirts?

[Lady_X]

I've dated flirty ENFPs and no, I wasn't okay with it as I said earlier. I'm fine with someone being friendly; I have lots of friends and I'm always willing to talk with someone. But such things as whispering sexually in someone else's ear while your SO is in the same vicinity, for example, I can't tolerate. I think it's disrespectful to your SO and the relationship you have.

yeah that's screwed up.

 

[Synarch]

It really is, thanks.

Since we are being honest, how many NFs have dumped you?

I'm coming from the point of view of someone who has been a flirt and has questioned it. I've actually never been dumped. I certainly wouldn't have the inclination to deal with anyone who likes to wag their tail at every passing stranger.

If you're going to be snide, try harder please or it's just not fun anymore.

 

[professor goodstain]

I would like to hear from those who have dated ENFP flirts rather than those who flirt and are trying to justify it as some harmless, fun thing they do to get people to like them. When your SO flirts, are you cool with it? Do you like to watch it? What do you think when you watch it?

I don't exactly know how the social environment interacted during my folks prime on a personal basis but Dad never was upset at Mom during or after social functions. Dad being ENTP Mom being ENFP. Mom could certainly get a crowd of dudes around her but with her skills also came the ability to toss those dudes to the wind at the end of the evening. Dad perhaps intuitively knew this through experience. But he used it to further the spirit of Mom through his ability to manipulate the crowd by giving the crowd an internal feeling of trivialness which made Dads presents so (not in the corner).

 

[Synarch]

well...i'll repeat something someone said about being with me...they said i'm just always being me...sweet and funny with people and just cute and people want to believe i'm flirting with them but that he gets that i'm not.

so...he knew me and wasn't offended by my way of being but...i'm sure if i ever was flirty in a sexual way he would be...that's the difference...the line.

Flirting is tacitly sexual or romantic. Check the dictionary. I am not talking about being friendly, cheerful, or curious.

I've dated flirty ENFPs and no, I wasn't okay with it as I said earlier. I'm fine with someone being friendly; I have lots of friends and I'm always willing to talk with someone. But such things as whispering sexually in someone else's ear while your SO is in the same vicinity, for example, I can't tolerate. I think it's disrespectful to your SO and the relationship you have.

Whispering in someone's ear? Jesus.

well...i do only flirt if i'm interested so no...i'd expect for it to be perceived as such...but i was trying to point out that being friendly wasn't the same thing.

Talking about flirting. Flirting is at least romantic or sexual in its approach.

 

[Lauren Ashley]

yeah that's screwed up.

His response to being confronted was "Dude, chill out! I was just having fun with her. It didn't mean anything."

 

[Synarch]

His response to being confronted was "Dude, chill out! I was just having fun with her. It didn't mean anything."

Well, what else could he say?

* "Oh, just making myself feel good by getting her excited."
* "Oh, just setting up some options in case I need to get some strange on the sly."

 

[Amargith]

His response to being confronted was "Dude, chill out! I was just having fun with her. It didn't mean anything."

I've had one of my exes do that to me too, and worse and he just called me jealous when I asked about it. It is a horrible feeling to have, especially if they then afterwards don't care about how you felt, I agree. The fact that he didn't take it seriously or kept your feelings in mind, makes it inexcusable. So I do understand why you feel strongly about this.

 

[Delilah]

I'm coming from the point of view of someone who has been a flirt and has questioned it. I've actually never been dumped. I certainly wouldn't have the inclination to deal with anyone who likes to wag their tail at every passing stranger.

If you're going to be snide, try harder please or it's just not fun anymore.

Considering the hard line attacks you seem to be making against those darn flirty NFs, it seemed a very reasonable question. Why so defensive? How many NTs have asked you questions that make you feel that way?

 

[Synarch]

Considering the hard line attacks you seem to be making against those darn flirty NFs, it seemed a very reasonable question. Why so defensive? How many NTs have asked you questions that make you feel that way?

Does your mom know you're on the computer?

 

[Biaxident]

What is the line? Do tell.

The line depends on what gender and age the person is, and what their body language and mood tell me. But since I am in a relationship, it never gets past making innuendos or double entendres. Word games are fun.

And on occasion, if I step over the line, I apologize immediately and tone it down.

Personally, I think many people I have engaged with were relieved that I wasn't just another drone lacking in personality, or an obnoxious know-it-all.

 

[Lady_X]

Flirting is tacitly sexual or romantic. Check the dictionary. I am not talking about being friendly, cheerful, or curious.



Whispering in someone's ear? Jesus.



Talking about flirting. Flirting is at least romantic or sexual in its approach.

yeah i know...i'm pretty sure we agree on the definition...so i guess i'm just saying no i don't flirt unless i mean it but my natural way of being can be considered as such anyway...i think that's the op's point. i don't think he's actually saying that he does flirt when with someone either but people often think he is.

or am i confused on the whole point of this conversation?

 

[professor goodstain]

Considering the hard line attacks you seem to be making against those darn flirty NFs, it seemed a very reasonable question. Why so defensive? How many NTs have asked you questions that make you feel that way?

I'm not so sure he's being defensive. It's the level of flirtatiousness that ENFP can have as an individual.

 

[Synarch]

The line depends on what gender and age the person is, and what their body language and mood tell me. But since I am in a relationship, it never gets past making innuendos or double entendres. Word games are fun.

And on occasion, if I step over the line, I apologize immediately and tone it down.

Personally, I think many people I have engaged with were relieved that I wasn't just another drone lacking in personality, or an obnoxious know-it-all.

Double entendres of a sexual or romantic nature? What is the purpose of this?

 

[d@v3]

ENFP's are not fair! They flirt and then when you flirt back as soon as they get a hint that you are serious, they run away! Soooo not fair...

 

[Synarch]

ENFP's are not fair! They flirt and then when you flirt back as soon as they get a hint that you are serious, they run away! Soooo not fair...

That's the point. It's not about you. It's about them. It's to fill the need.

 

[Delilah]

Does your mom know you're on the computer?

No, but I can call her and let her know if it would make you feel better, hell, I can call my kids too if it really means that much to you, although, they are in school and can't answer their cell phones.

I'm not so sure he's being defensive. It's the level of flirtatiousness that ENFP can have as an individual.

He certainly reads as defensive, and bitter too.

 

[Lady_X]

so...i just watched happy go lucky last night and there's a scene that this whole thing reminds me of...and it's kinda scary...just sayin...people ought to be careful of how far they take the jokey, sexual flirty thing...because some people are freaks...i'm sure everyone knows that...i'm just sayin.

 

[d@v3]

That's the point. It's not about you. It's about them. It's to fill the need.

But what exactly IS the need? The need to socialize? They are better off using the internet for that, at least that way they have a less chance of hurting feelings and what not!

 

[Synarch]

No, but I can call her and let her know if it would make you feel better, hell, I can call my kids too if it really means that much to you, although, they are in school and can't answer their cell phones.

It'd make me feel better if you had your tubes tied.

 

[Synarch]

But what exactly IS the need? The need to socialize? They are better off using the internet for that, at least that way they have a less chance of hurting feelings and what not!

That's what I am trying to figure out. When people flirt with you and you respond how do they justify it if you take them seriously?