[ENFP] ENFPs: Hopeless Flirts?

[Queen Kat]

I'm not a hopeless flirt. I got hurt to many times, so I guess flirting is useless for me anyways.

 

[violaine]

The only problem is one person's friendly is another person's flirting.

That's why you have a discussion about it... I am going according to the definition of flirting earlier in this thread. I definitely don't agree with people trying to dampen their partner's enthusiasm just because they want them all to themselves.

 

[seeker22]

The only problem is one person's friendly is another person's flirting.

Yeah and I know what my "version" of friendly is (see prior description), so, if someone wants to INTERPRET my behavior (through THEIR OWN FILTER) to mean that I WANT THEM, that is on them, and not me.

 

[Synarch]

SHAME

Being an NT does not mean that everything is morally permissable or that all moral views must pass the logical sniff test. We are humans, not robots.

 

[Amargith]

If you can't stand the heat...

Seriously, if you can't defend your questionable moral behavior against scrutiny is that my problem or your problem?

:rolli: Sigh, stop telling others how to live. As long as they do not hurt people with their ways, who cares, honestly.

 

[Lady_X]

That's why you have the discussion... I am going according to the definition of flirting earlier in this thread. I definitely don't agree with people trying to dampen their partner's enthusiasm just because they want them all to themselves.

yeah...i know what you mean babe. there is a difference and the person dating you should know you well enough to see it.

 

[Lauren Ashley]

You get to know stuff about each other, you tend to talk about personal things, so the bond is very real. You connect...

To me, those feelings are real. The flirting might be meant in a joking way and is more a means to an end, but the effect it has, is real, and creates a feeling of safety andtrust with the other person often. And that kinda intense bond is precious to me, so I do seek it out.

ENFPs' love seems very diffuse. They love everyone, and equally. And there is no problem with that, but this is just in stark contrast to the way that others operate. To me, as an INFJ, it is a bit like emotional whoring.

 

[Synarch]

Yeah and I know what my "version" of friendly is (see above), so, if someone wants to INTERPRET my behavior (through THEIR OWN FILTER) to mean that I WANT THEM, that is on them, and not me.

If I jerk you off (to maintain my analogy), is that ambiguous? Flirting is the promise of interest with plausible deniability. So, if someone says "Oh, I like you, too. Wanna go out?" you can always go, "What are you on about? I am just flirting."

It's transactional. The flirter is exerting influence and this provides them with some sort of benefit, otherwise they wouldn't do it.

 

[MacGuffin]

Being an NT does not mean that everything is morally permissable or that all moral views must pass the logical sniff test. We are humans, not robots.

:rolli: Sigh, stop telling others how to live. As long as they do not hurt people with their ways, who cares, honestly.

And the NF out-NTs the NT.

 

[Synarch]

:rolli: Sigh, stop telling others how to live. As long as they do not hurt people with their ways, who cares, honestly.

Stop telling others to stop telling others how to live.

 

[Synarch]

And the NF out-NTs the NT.

You just want to believe what you want to believe and you conceal this under a load of bullshit logical justification.

 

[professor goodstain]

I'm not a hopeless flirt. I got hurt to many times, so I guess flirting is useless for me anyways.

You bring up a very interesting point. Maybe flirting is an ongoing (gerund like) thing that keeps the spirit alive. Even though some of it ends up in the dumps the flirter eventually falls back on instinct and still uses useless talents (when deemed such) not for the sake of hope but to tickle the Ne in order to supply recharge to ones natural preference.

 

[MacGuffin]

You just want to believe what you want to believe and you conceal this under a load of bullshit logical justification.

I'm not justifying anything, just pointing out the irrational.

Are you in a manic phase?

 

[Amargith]

ENFPs' love seems very diffuse. They love everyone, and equally. And there is no problem with that, but this is just in stark contrast to the way that others operate. To me, as an INFJ, it is bit like emotional whoring.

There are many levels of emotional intensity. I guarantee you that no one gets to the level my SO does, and I'm unwilling to share that depth with anyone else. But yes, I do like sharing a certain amount of emotional intensity with others other than my SO. I see no shame in that.

 

[seeker22]

I definitely don't agree with people trying to dampen their partner's enthusiasm just because they want them all to themselves.

And this is what I was referring to sanveane - some people can't bear to share their fun-loving ENFPs it seems.

That's how the SJ I was involved with was. SHE wanted all of my attention and positive energy to be directed to HER. No one else. Period.

Our spirits are like wild stallions and cannot be tamed... When someone tries to "coral" us we feel stifled. You simply mustn't dampen our enthusiasm and zest for life.

 

[kyuuei]

ENFPs' love seems very diffuse. They love everyone, and equally. And there is no problem with that, but this is just in stark contrast to the way that others operate. To me, as an INFJ, it is bit like emotional whoring.

I definitely agree with this statement. If you're my friend, I'll go to the ends of the earth for you. My boyfriends have always had to be understanding of the fact that just because I love them in an entirely different way doesn't mean they always have the rightofway in situations. I don't forget about people when I fall in love.

I'm not saying my boyfriend always goes on the backburner, but they definitely need to be understanding that I'm not going to come running everytime they ring their little sick bell. and I'm not going to act like susie Q either. Some people think they should always get the most attention when in a relationship with someone.. I don't operate this way. I don't want constant attention, nor do I give constant attention.. with ANYONE in my life.

 

[Delilah]

Seriously, if you can't defend your questionable moral behavior against scrutiny is that my problem or your problem?

What questionable moral behavior? Flirting? I'm a mad flirt and I make no apologies for it.

You remind me of an uptight little church girl.

 

[Lady_X]

ENFPs' love seems very diffuse. They love everyone, and equally. And there is no problem with that, but this is just in stark contrast to the way that others operate. To me, as an INFJ, it is a bit like emotional whoring.

not true. the people in my lil circle know who they are and i'm quite certain they feel the difference and when in a relationship that person would always feel like the most important person in the world...no question.

 

[kyuuei]

:\ What's with all the church bashing lately? .. Anyways, Synarch does make a point. You ought to be able to at least explain why you're justified, or be comfortable in the reasons why you take action.

 

[Synarch]

What questionable moral behavior? Flirting? I'm a mad flirt and I make no apologies for it.

You remind me of an uptight little church girl.

I am an uptight little church girl. I sing "Just as I am" every Sunday during the Invitation and I will be 12 next week. Would you like me to pray for you?

Would you flirt in front of your SO? Would any of you? This is the test.

Be honest.