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  1. #61
    Revelation Lauren Ashley's Avatar
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    I've dated ENFPs in the past and this is one of the biggest issues that we would always run into (in addition to flakiness). They would flirt with other women and act like it was no big deal. How is it not a big deal that you're touching, dancing with, and chatting up another woman as if you're single? It's disrespectful. And once it did go so far that the ENFP cheated, and that ended our relationship. I'm not going to keep my partner on a leash to make sure they behave appropriately.

  2. #62
    meh Salomé's Avatar
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    I have to admit, I don't really understand this. Jokey teasing is one thing. But sexual teasing is really just foreplay by another name. Why would you want foreplay with no after play? And if you're good (convincing) at it you're just going to frustrate the other party, which is rather cruel, IMO.

    I'm inclined to believe that it's not about connection at all. It's just an ego trip.
    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    Gosh, the world looks so small from up here on my high horse of menstruation.

  3. #63
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    I dunno, to me it's just my type of bantering. Just like some NTs like to insult each other, which other types don't like either btw, I just enjoy sexual innuendo to test how quick-witted the other person is, and yes, what kind of person they are. And it has the pleasant side-effect of creating a warmth and comfort that makes bonding more easy. And depending on the person and the click we have, it can go pretty far (at least in my case). I do agree that you should make the situation clear up front (hey, im not looking for a bf, i'm taken, i'm just joking about, etc), but then I find that there's just as many who use insults to banter that don't give the other party this curtesy.

    I know that some people aren't into my kind of banter, and when indicated it is not appreciated, I will stop, as I don't wanna force anyone into anything they feel uncomfortable with. But I don't see the big deal. Why is it that our way of being, our humor is supposedly more hurtful than say, insulting people? This is not the first thread about this topic, and it seems to once more not resolve anything in terms of creating understanding or coming to a solution.

    anyways, just my two cents
    Amargith
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  4. #64
    meh Salomé's Avatar
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    All due respect, that's a cop out.
    If you don't have an SO, it's one thing. I still think it's weird, because it's lying about/cheapening intimacy and that's not something to cheapen, IMO. But, each to their own - it's a case of caveat emptor.
    If you do have an SO, it's hurtful, not to mention incredibley disrespectful.

    /2c

    EDIT. The thread was created by an ENFP looking for info on how his behaviour might be affecting others, not as an opportunity to knock ENFPs. As such, it is serving its purpose. Maybe you are taking it too personally?
    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    Gosh, the world looks so small from up here on my high horse of menstruation.

  5. #65
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    Will you NTs quit ruining the cool NFs???

  6. #66
    meh Salomé's Avatar
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    ^Keep forgetting, that job's taken.
    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    Gosh, the world looks so small from up here on my high horse of menstruation.

  7. #67
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    Damn straight!

  8. #68
    Revelation Lauren Ashley's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bluemonday View Post
    All due respect, that's a cop out.
    If you don't have an SO, it's one thing. I still think it's weird, because it's lying about/cheapening intimacy and that's not something to cheapen, IMO. But, each to their own - it's a case of caveat emptor.
    If you do have an SO, it's hurtful, not to mention incredibley disrespectful.
    This.

    Not trying to put down ENFPs because they are one of my favorite types and I adore them. But this is a drawback that I've noticed, especially with immature ENFPs.

  9. #69
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    Blue, i realise it was created by an ENFP, but I think it was meant to seek understanding. Anycase, you might not agree with it, but it really is between me and my SO. He knows this about me, and has no problem with it, so I don't see why it should be a problem at all. He's fortunately not the jealous type. If I knew I was hurting him and making him unhappy, I wouldn't do this. But that's one of the reasons why I love him: he accepts and loves me for being who I am, including this part of me.

    I have a tendency to relate to things personally so it might seem like I'm taking it personal, but my point is: if all parties involved are informed and ok with it..then who cares what they do? Sure, you may not agree with it, or would never want to get involved yourself, but nobody's asking you to.
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  10. #70
    Senior Member Moiety's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Synarch View Post
    No wonder you're so confused. You can't even tell when someone is jerking you off.


    Quote Originally Posted by happy puppy
    This is dangerous I think. Once you realize you may be sending a signal it kind of falls back to you to reconsider how you choose to send that signal and how the respondee may take it. It may be all about intentions and the realization you are acting this way.
    Agreed. I don't think I share the seemingly dismissive stance of some other ENFPs on the thread, in regards to this. Sure, I'm a free spirit and like to be loved/liked for who I am, but you gotta be smart about these things - every action has a consequence.

    I think I might have a way of approaching people in general, that is less likely to come across as classically flirty, when compared to other ENFPs, if that makes any sense. Also, I generally talk in the same manner with women as I do with men. I will say though, that I do like to give others attention. And this might be true for most other ENFPs, and also part of the problem. We like to keep everyone happy, and that might be misinterpreted, I guess.


    But I usually know exactly how I come across and I'm careful not to fuck with people's feelings (both the old and the new people's). I don't usually do sexual innuendo because it can be misinterpreted . I think I'm a natural conversationalist but not a natural flirt. So I have little patience for idle and shallow chit-chat anyway. Unless I already like/know the other person.

    Quote Originally Posted by bluemonday View Post
    All due respect, that's a cop out.
    If you don't have an SO, it's one thing. I still think it's weird, because it's lying about/cheapening intimacy and that's not something to cheapen, IMO. But, each to their own - it's a case of caveat emptor.
    If you do have an SO, it's hurtful, not to mention incredibley disrespectful.
    I do see where you are coming from Blue and I do agree somewhat. Cheapening intimacy...yeah...that's a good way to put it.

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