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  1. #431
    meh Salomé's Avatar
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    I gotta say Amar, your avatar is really turning me on.

    Who doesn't enjoy intense (good) emotions?
    But invoking those indiscriminately? I don't know. Somehow cheapens them. I don't want to share myself with just anyone. Then, when it does happen, it's all the more precious. Is this just an E/I thing? Perhaps. But I still have to wonder if there isn't something wrong with the primary relationship if either partner goes looking for their thrills elsewhere.
    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    Gosh, the world looks so small from up here on my high horse of menstruation.

  2. #432
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    Didn't know you were a jessica-fan, blue

    I never share myself fully with anyone else besides my SO. Ok, so I know to push a few buttons to cause intense emotions, but its nothing more than a small crush in effect, even less, as I know what I have at home is a thousand times stronger. At the same time it can produce a rather powerfull connection between friends. But it isn't comparable to what I have at home. That kind of connection only comes from being together for years and knowing each other inside out.

    Also, I am willing to share a lot of myself with friends, with or without playing this 'game', I'm a pretty open book. But some stuff is reserved only for him
    And that's why to me, it's not cheapening.

    For that matter, I might be playful like this with a lot of people, but it's not like I click with just anyone all the time. There are different levels, and only a few really reach that special type of friendship and that high intensity level in the game. So to me, that's precious as well. It's also very possible to have a deep friendship with someone without flirting. And vice versa. It just depends on the click you have with the person.
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    "Harm none, do as ye will”

  3. #433
    meh Salomé's Avatar
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    More and more, I'm concluding it is an E/I diff. I just don't have that sort of energy to go around starting fires. Also, it seems to me that flirting/teasing create a kind of fake intimacy, or even a safe distance - that's what humour does (it has its roots in fear, after all). It doesn't create a real bond. You need to get serious for that.
    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    Gosh, the world looks so small from up here on my high horse of menstruation.

  4. #434
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    Nothing says you cannot mix it up. Humor can be a nice break from deep intense conversation, IME, which then gives you time to contemplate and digest everythign that's been said, as well as reestablish the bond somewhat if the deep conversation was somewhat intense and painful. It's able to break the tension
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  5. #435
    Filthy Apes! Kalach's Avatar
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    ENFJs get the bad, manipulator rep.

    ENFPs...?

  6. #436
    meh Salomé's Avatar
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    It's funny how differently we can experience/interpret the same situation. If I'm having an intense and personal/painful conversation with someone and they suddenly change the tone, I'd be all WTF? I'd feel abandoned. Like they were pulling away. I'd be hurt.
    I think we're straying of-topic now, but this has all been very interesting.
    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    Gosh, the world looks so small from up here on my high horse of menstruation.

  7. #437
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    The thing is I only go for a break when I notice the person needs it. Like when they're suddenly very quiet (clearly mulling things over), or there's an awkward silence, or they get too hurt and too reactional and vice versa. If they go near a topic I don't wanna discuss coz I'm just not ready to reveal that yet, I'll indicate that gently, and then change the tone to continue having fun together. There's no need for the conversation to end at those points, I feel and the sooner we get rid of that awkward feeling the better
    If they indicate however that they'd like to continue with the previous topic, I gladly jump back in though.

    And yeah..maybe they should shift these posts to a seperate thread?
    ★ڿڰۣ✿ℒoѵℯ✿ڿڰۣ★





    "Harm none, do as ye will”

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