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  1. #411
    Senior Member bluebell's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Amargith View Post
    Really cannot be more honest than telling you bluntly: "hey, I'm just having some fun, plz tell me to stop if you don't enjoy it, and yes, I am taken." Sorry. If that doesn't tell the other person what the deal is, what does?
    Maybe it's the actions speak louder than words thing.

    Quote Originally Posted by Elaur View Post
    Just look at it this way. What if your natural way of approaching *everyone* was considered flirting to most people. It's a weird strength that can be used in a good way or bad way.
    I got a little annoyed by this statement and took me a while to work out why. What if your natural way of approaching *everyone* was considered socially unacceptable and nobody understood it?

    I've had to learn and adapt to how other people like to interact. I guess I don't see 'oh, but it's my natural way of interacting' as a particularly valid argument if the interactions have some negative side-effects.
    ...so much smoke pouring out of each chromosome.

  2. #412
    meh Salomé's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bluemonday View Post
    Can you expand?
    And?

    expand (k-spnd)
    v. expanded, expanding, expands
    v.tr.
    1. To increase the size, volume, quantity, or scope of; enlarge
    2. To express at length or in detail; enlarge on:

    I always think expound sounds poncey.
    Quote Originally Posted by Udog View Post
    one woman who would flirt with the doorknob if the office door was locked.)
    LOL.
    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    Gosh, the world looks so small from up here on my high horse of menstruation.

  3. #413
    meh Salomé's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bluebell View Post
    I got a little annoyed by this statement and took me a while to work out why. What if your natural way of approaching *everyone* was considered socially unacceptable and nobody understood it?

    I've had to learn and adapt to how other people like to interact. I guess I don't see 'oh, but it's my natural way of interacting' as a particularly valid argument if the interactions have some negative side-effects.
    I agree. I think I said something similar back on page 90980980.
    But I wonder if there's more to it than that?
    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    Gosh, the world looks so small from up here on my high horse of menstruation.

  4. #414
    Oberon
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    Quote Originally Posted by kyuuei View Post
    I'm a pretty blunt person in my own shy way. If I'm flirting with someone, I'm basically asking for sex.. or for a potential date.
    Hey k, let's make a deal... let's agree that if we ever meet in person, we're just making friendly conversation unless and until one of us says "Hey, let's do it."

    That will prevent any ambiguity.

  5. #415
    Was E.laur Laurie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bluebell View Post
    Maybe it's the actions speak louder than words thing.

    I got a little annoyed by this statement and took me a while to work out why. What if your natural way of approaching *everyone* was considered socially unacceptable and nobody understood it?
    Yes but that is not what I was talking about. Being naturally nice and outgoing is not a negative trait. It seems that there is animosity in this thread that isn't about ENFP's coming across naturally as flirtatious. There is no way to counter people being upset that they think someone else is flirting.

    I was not discussing someone who is flirting. Amar and other adults are flirting and admit it. (I don't care either way what she does though ) I can see it bothering people if they see someone who is married flirting. I was actually talking about the natural inclination of an ENFP to come across as if everyone is special to them.

    I've mentioned this before, I was in my early 20s and was being nice to some early 20s guy who came into the KFC I was working at. I smiled at him and interacted with him like anyone else that would have come in. When he left a lady said "wow you were flirting with him" I was a newlywed and absolutely was not flirting with him. He called the restaurant up on the phone and asked me out. I was actually in shock. I had no idea that people would think I was flirting with him. I was just working.

    Just because an ENFP has possibly an easier time flirting because they are naturally nice and outgoing doesn't make them flirts. I can see how it could be intimidating to be in competition with someone who is a "natural" flirt and I assume some of the animosity is from that. Of course, the ENFP dorkiness probably makes up for it somewhat.

  6. #416
    Emperor/Dictator kyuuei's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by oberon View Post
    Hey k, let's make a deal... let's agree that if we ever meet in person, we're just making friendly conversation unless and until one of us says "Hey, let's do it."

    That will prevent any ambiguity.
    Is this sarcasm? I'm just saying, I'm not a very subtle person. When I've had motivation to be flirtacious, no man has ever mistaken it. They only mistake my friendly nature because they interpret what they want, despite knowing me to be pretty honest in every other department.

    I don't like playing cat and mouse games.. but I will play with mice
    Kantgirl: Just say "I'm feminine and I'll punch anyone who says otherwise!"
    Halla74: Think your way through the world. Feel your way through life.

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  7. #417
    Oberon
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    Quote Originally Posted by kyuuei View Post
    Is this sarcasm?
    Oddly for me, no.

    The trick is that for me, with someone I was comfortable with, saying "Hey, let's do it" was completely in the cards. Very possible.

    I once propositioned a woman by simply walking out of her bathroom naked. Though it was a completely non-verbal approach, it communicated effectively.

    And successfully, as it turned out...

  8. #418
    Senior Member seeker22's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tallulah View Post
    what happens when you don't really think you're flirting, but others do? That seems to be what the ENFPs are frustrated with.
    BINGO.

  9. #419
    Emperor/Dictator kyuuei's Avatar
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    ^ Hahahaha!! Too awesome!! Yes, I'm the sort thats very shy until the connection is established.. I'm shy in public settings ALL the time, but in private, the other side of my not-so-subtle nature definitely comes out.

    I would appreciate your sort of attitude over the person that assumes and makes decisions for me anyday of the week.
    Kantgirl: Just say "I'm feminine and I'll punch anyone who says otherwise!"
    Halla74: Think your way through the world. Feel your way through life.

    Cimarron: maybe Prpl will be your girl-bud
    prplchknz: i don't like it

    In Search Of... ... Kiwi Sketch Art ... Dream Journal ... Kyuuei's Cook book ... Kyu's Tiny House Blog ... Minimalist Challenge ... Kyu's Savings Challenge

  10. #420
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Elaur View Post
    Yes but that is not what I was talking about. Being naturally nice and outgoing is not a negative trait. It seems that there is animosity in this thread that isn't about ENFP's coming across naturally as flirtatious. There is no way to counter people being upset that they think someone else is flirting.

    I was not discussing someone who is flirting. Amar and other adults are flirting and admit it. (I don't care either way what she does though ) I can see it bothering people if they see someone who is married flirting. I was actually talking about the natural inclination of an ENFP to come across as if everyone is special to them.

    I've mentioned this before, I was in my early 20s and was being nice to some early 20s guy who came into the KFC I was working at. I smiled at him and interacted with him like anyone else that would have come in. When he left a lady said "wow you were flirting with him" I was a newlywed and absolutely was not flirting with him. He called the restaurant up on the phone and asked me out. I was actually in shock. I had no idea that people would think I was flirting with him. I was just working.

    Just because an ENFP has possibly an easier time flirting because they are naturally nice and outgoing doesn't make them flirts. I can see how it could be intimidating to be in competition with someone who is a "natural" flirt and I assume some of the animosity is from that. Of course, the ENFP dorkiness probably makes up for it somewhat.
    this bit is HILARIOUS!!!
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

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