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  1. #391
    Minister of Propagandhi ajblaise's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by erinavery View Post
    it's hard to answer that though...do i answer why i relate to people in my way...that's considered flirting sometimes even though i'm not actually flirting or do i tell you why i would flirt when i actually am?

    i'll do both i guess....

    first...i relate to people in a personal way...i'm friendly, engaging, interested in them because i generally like people and want to know them and form connections. i also think every new person i meet has the potential to become someone really important in my life...so i embrace people and situations with open arms....it's just the way we do it...we're just all in..in a real and personal way.

    second...if i were to flirt with someone. it's because i'm expressive and if i feel romantically interested in someone i can't pretend not to be...i think and feel sweet and lovely things towards them and it shows in my body language and the words that i use. it's our genuine expressive nature and the need is just that...to be genuine and expressive.
    So do you think it's the ENFPs responsibility to make it clear to someone they're not interested in romantically that might be misinterpreting their friendliness for flirtiness, that you don't mean it in that way? Or is it more the responsibility of the person who is misreading your signals?

  2. #392
    Was E.laur Laurie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ajblaise View Post
    So do you think it's the ENFPs responsibility to make it clear to someone they're not interested in romantically that might be misinterpreting their friendliness for flirtiness, that you don't mean it in that way? Or is it more the responsibility of the person who is misreading your signals?
    If I'm "flirting" with an old lady is it my duty to tell her I'm not serious?

  3. #393
    Senior Member Moiety's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Elaur View Post
    If I'm "flirting" with an old lady is it my duty to tell her I'm not serious?
    You know....she could be a lesbian.

  4. #394
    Minister of Propagandhi ajblaise's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Elaur View Post
    If I'm "flirting" with an old lady is it my duty to tell her I'm not serious?
    An old lady has probably been burned before by you ENFPs, and knows the deal.

  5. #395
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ajblaise View Post
    So do you think it's the ENFPs responsibility to make it clear to someone they're not interested in romantically that might be misinterpreting their friendliness for flirtiness, that you don't mean it in that way? Or is it more the responsibility of the person who is misreading your signals?
    well...what the hell? are you supposed to say to everyone you meet hey i'm not flirting with you? that would be quite presumptuous would it not? if someone thinks i am and says so sure i'd tell them...but...i don't think i personally flirt unless there's some level of interest.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  6. #396
    Minister of Propagandhi ajblaise's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by erinavery View Post
    well...what the hell? are you supposed to say to everyone you meet hey i'm not flirting with you? that would be quite presumptuous would it not? if someone thinks i am and says so sure i'd tell them...but...i don't think i personally flirt unless there's some level of interest.
    I had in mind a scenario when you already suspect someone is misinterpreting you. But there's no way that you can be sure unless they say something about it. So I think it would be their fault for not communicating that, unless the ENFP was knowingly leading them on.

  7. #397
    Senior Member Synapse's Avatar
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    I always thought flirting of itself was a way to break the ice and get behind another persons shell. To open them up and make them feel more receptive and comfortable, then a relaxed way of communication can occur that indirectly links the human need to feel connected, whether sarcastic, humours, sexual or otherwise.

    Flirting fills a need, the need to find a quick way to relate on a basic individual level past the defensive barriers that are there after all. Its as much a boost for the recipient as it is for the sender to get a response. As harmless or harmful flirting gets really depends much on maturity, experience and knowledge of what is happening.

    Which unfortunately of its nature is taken out of context because its perceived as a way to hit on another person mostly in the from of sexual innuendo which isn't necessarily the case. When its heavy and thick sure both the flirted and flirtee indeed have to judge or perceive what the boundary is as miscommunication is like a drop in the hat too easy. Otherwise its a playful form of communication that is meant to ease tension and make light of situations that feel like a coffin. As a form of interest level that shares a hint of intimacy without being intimate at all or flattery, compliment or signs of admiration too, to have some fun without the pressure of expectation.

    I want to flirt to charm the pants off women like the next person.
    Alas my flirting ability is opulently lost somewhere in translation. This thread feels like a whole lot of jibber jabber and not a whole lot of jabber jibber. all kinds of wrong are all kinds of right and all kinds or right are all kinds of wrong. shrugs.

  8. #398
    Was E.laur Laurie's Avatar
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    I've done it. I have had problems online with people getting "into" me so I've told people right off the bat "I'm not interested." I've gotten some weird responses because they were like "I'm not into you either, why would you say that" but I could see where it was going. I gave up on doing that.

  9. #399
    Once Was Synarch's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bluemonday View Post
    I guess it's the dishonesty of falsely signaling sexual availability that bothers me. If you tell someone you're taken, but you *signal* availability. You are sending out mixed messages. And we all know 90% of communication is non-verbal.
    It just means that some people like "connecting" more than they like being taken seriously.
    "Create like a god, command like a king, work like a slave."

  10. #400
    Once Was Synarch's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jenocyde View Post
    In my opinion, it is the most honest thing about us. We delude ourselves into believing that we are above animalistic behavior. We force ourselves to deny biology. But how many animals in the wild are monogamous? Flirting, social ritual - all of the basic nature of animals shine through us no matter how much we deny and pretend otherwise.

    So it is the fact that you wish to transcend and yet others just accept? Is it that you perceive them to be weaker in the mind, is that what you take issue with?
    Monogamy is actually very common in nature. Generally, the more parental investment required to raise offspring, the greater the likelihood of monogamy. In the Naked Ape, Desmond Morris presented the theory that the age for offspring to be self-sufficient is around seven, hence the seven year itch. Likewise, where parental investment and desire for inheritance is greater on the part of the male, there is more incentive to control female fertility.
    "Create like a god, command like a king, work like a slave."

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