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  1. #381
    Revelation Lauren Ashley's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sytpg View Post
    Why are introverts introverted? Why can't they will themselves to spend more time with people?
    Do you want this answered really? I think this would make an interesting thread, and I could definitely answer it for you.

  2. #382
    violaine
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sytpg View Post
    If you are trying to approach this from a perspective of conscious effort I doubt you'll get an answer that will satisfy you. Why are introverts introverted? Why can't they will themselves to spend more time with people?

    IF (and this is a big if) it's type related in any way I bet it's subconscious and as such not something easily put into words anyway.
    This is more of the 'answering questions with questions/going around in circles'... Any answers are appreciated. I would just have liked to hear why some ENFPs think they do this, if they do it. Would have been interesting to me. (And I do think I know why introverts are introverted.)

  3. #383
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    i think the reason none of your questions were answered is because you asked why we do something that most of us have said we don't in fact do. you wanted to know why we flirt...what was the need? right? if you'll look through the thread most enfps have said we aren't in fact flirting...we are being silly, playful, jokey having fun with people w/o sexual or romantic insinuations.

    unless you want to know why a single person would flirt with someone they were attracted to then...it seems the answer is obvious...it's the same reason anyone does...we like them and want them to know...but...you're not asking that...right?
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  4. #384
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    That's been answered twice imo, but here it is again:

    Quote Originally Posted by Udog View Post
    This sums up the thread.

    Flirtation adds a color, fun, and edge to personal interaction, and the world would be less interesting without it. Light flirtation doesn't mean sexual interest by any means, but it does introduce a sexual element. When you add that sexual element, no matter how slight, it opens the door up to confusion.

    As a fellow _NFP, I understand the flirtation for what it is - a way to intensify personal interaction. I can see how it can create confusion with some people. (Urban Dictionary: enfp).

    It's a fair price to pay, but it's nonetheless a price to pay.

    And, as Erin added: Enfps often don't even realize they do it (if in fact that is what they do, as they don't see it that way), it's just natural to them. (even to me, especially in the beginning of it)
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  5. #385
    Was E.laur Laurie's Avatar
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    I used to get accused of being a flirt in my early 20s when I wasn't thinking I was flirting at work. The only thing is that I smiled at and treated the old ladies the same way as the college age guys. People didn't seem to notice that though.

    I flirt now but I really just do the same thing and know that people think it's flirting. I could flirt with an inanimate object. In fact I was testing my video equipment the other day and realized I was flirting with myself and no one else was ever going to see the video.

    I've seen plenty of people of other types do their "flirting" and oftentimes it just looks like they are being coy. ENFP flirt with everyone and then realize at some point that people think it's flirting.

    Just look at it this way. What if your natural way of approaching *everyone* was considered flirting to most people. It's a weird strength that can be used in a good way or bad way.

  6. #386
    Senior Member Moiety's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lauren Ashley View Post
    Do you want this answered really? I think this would make an interesting thread, and I could definitely answer it for you.
    It was rhetorical (and also just an example). Not to sound dismissive, but I do believe only part of it can truly be answered while still remaining all-encompassing and ringing true to all Is. Thats my point basically.

    I can come up with a hundred BS theories "explaining" why that is. Just like I could say "some ENFPs flirt with everyone cause they want to have a backup plan at all times". Just because it actually would make some sense and explain a lot, does not mean it's true and certainly does mean it's true for everybody or even most ENFPs.

    I'm just saying there IS a point where things get muddled and I think that point has been reached quite sometime ago.


    ETA :Also, like Erin said, most ENFPs have said they don't flirt with everybody. So asking the wrong questions will get you the wrong muddled answers.

  7. #387
    violaine
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    Quote Originally Posted by erinavery View Post
    i think the reason none of your questions were answered is because you asked why we do something that most of us have said we don't in fact do. you wanted to know why we flirt...what was the need? right? if you'll look through the thread most enfps have said we aren't in fact flirting...we are being silly, playful, jokey having fun with people w/o sexual or romantic insinuations.

    unless you want to know why a single person would flirt with someone they were attracted to then...it seems the answer is obvious...it's the same reason anyone does...we like them and want them to know...but...you're not asking that...right?
    Yes. I wanted to know the nature of the 'need' or if it is a need. Even to hear some theorizing by ENFPs, not necessarily personal experiences.

  8. #388
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    Once I realize what I'm doing and the other person seems to enjoy it, the only reason for me to fulfill that need is coz its immensly fun and enjoyable.
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  9. #389
    violaine
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    Quote Originally Posted by Elaur View Post
    I used to get accused of being a flirt in my early 20s when I wasn't thinking I was flirting at work. The only thing is that I smiled at and treated the old ladies the same way as the college age guys. People didn't seem to notice that though.

    I flirt now but I really just do the same thing and know that people think it's flirting. I could flirt with an inanimate object. In fact I was testing my video equipment the other day and realized I was flirting with myself and no one else was ever going to see the video.
    Lol.

    Quote Originally Posted by Elaur View Post
    I've seen plenty of people of other types do their "flirting" and oftentimes it just looks like they are being coy. ENFP flirt with everyone and then realize at some point that people think it's flirting.

    Just look at it this way. What if your natural way of approaching *everyone* was considered flirting to most people. It's a weird strength that can be used in a good way or bad way.
    Interesting. (And yes, I've seen plenty of people of other 'types' do it too, it's not confined to ENFPs as a type.)

    Quote Originally Posted by Amargith View Post
    Once I realize what I'm doing and the other person seems to enjoy it, the only reason for me to fulfill that need is coz its immensly fun and enjoyable.
    Interesting, thanks for breaking that down.

  10. #390
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    it's hard to answer that though...do i answer why i relate to people in my way...that's considered flirting sometimes even though i'm not actually flirting or do i tell you why i would flirt when i actually am?

    i'll do both i guess....

    first...i relate to people in a personal way...i'm friendly, engaging, interested in them because i generally like people and want to know them and form connections. i also think every new person i meet has the potential to become someone really important in my life...so i embrace people and situations with open arms....it's just the way we do it...we're just all in..in a real and personal way.

    second...if i were to flirt with someone. it's because i'm expressive and if i feel romantically interested in someone i can't pretend not to be...i think and feel sweet and lovely things towards them and it shows in my body language and the words that i use. it's our genuine expressive nature and the need is just that...to be genuine and expressive.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

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