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  1. #231
    Senior Member sculpting's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Synarch View Post
    I dunno. When I am with someone I tend to dig, I assume this is Ne. I imagine ENFP are similar. If both people are Ne'ing the other, I don't think this would be appealing for either. Someone would have to be the more passive party.
    I cant hang too much in real life with other enfps. It becomes too scatterred.

    however I totally hang with entps.

    Ne-Fi loves to play with Ne-Ti and visa versa. It's the logic feeding off the random idea generator in the enfp.

    dig painfully or dig interestedly?

  2. #232
    in-game Gamine's Avatar
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    On the accusal of enfp flirting, I have a theory.

    We are all so separated by our own perceptions of differences from each other (that "otherness" feeling) that when someone (like an awesome ENFP) can cut through the garbage and engage someone, look them in the eyes, really listen to them, it is so alien to their normal interactions that it can only be understood as flirting. These are normal interactions for these people, and they are truly interested and empathetic. I think this accusal and issue says a lot more about our collective loneliness and human desire for attention and appreciation, than it does the limitations of social conduct.

    I would ideally like to see more people taking social cues from ENFPesque people and forgetting about barriers to truly connect. While an ENFP might be criticized for being superficial and flighty in their relationships, I'm grateful they are able to spread so much of their brand of love around, because apparently we need it. Asking someone questions, listening to them, and being somehow emotional invested in someone should not be flirting.
    "Beware Those Who Are ALWAYS READING BOOKS" - Bukowski

  3. #233
    Senior Member Moiety's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by d@v3 View Post
    ENFP's are not fair! They flirt and then when you flirt back as soon as they get a hint that you are serious, they run away! Soooo not fair...
    Sorry for leading you on Dave

    Quote Originally Posted by Synarch View Post
    That's the point. It's not about you. It's about them. It's to fill the need.
    Does any other type have urges satisfied at the expense of others (no I don't mean rough sex)?

    I'm not saying we do need to flirt btw.

    Quote Originally Posted by Amargith View Post
    How do you justify it when you insult someone as a joke, coz that's your type of bantering, and they take it seriously? And why do you feel the need to insult them in the first place? It's pretty much the same thing imo.
    This.

    Synarch, the great thing about typology is that for every generalization about a type there's an analogous one for at least one other type.


    Quote Originally Posted by Synarch View Post
    On the surface they probably see it as "connecting with others" or "being friendly", but when you scratch the surface it's usually a need to be liked above all else. This has to come from the outside as they cannot get it from within because that would require introspection and strength.
    We do have a need to be liked. That's not news. That's human nature. And you don't fully grasp Fi if you think we can't be fueled from within. How many ENFPs have you met that went against their principles just to be accepted?

    I agree that everyone should be responsible for their actions and not hide behind "this is how I am" all the time, but you seem very bitter. Blue too. This kind of remark isn't going to help you "get to the bottom of this".

    You are writing between the lines instead of trying to read between the lines.
    Last edited by Moiety; 04-17-2009 at 01:46 PM. Reason: meaning-changing typos

  4. #234
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TwinkleToes View Post
    On the accusal of enfp flirting, I have a theory.

    We are all so separated by our own perceptions of differences from each other (that "otherness" feeling) that when someone (like an awesome ENFP) can cut through the garbage and engage someone, look them in the eyes, really listen to them, it is so alien to their normal interactions that it can only be understood as flirting. These are normal interactions for these people, and they are truly interested and empathetic. I think this accusal and issue says a lot more about our collective loneliness and human desire for attention and appreciation, than it does the limitations of social conduct.

    I would ideally like to see more people taking social cues from ENFPesque people and forgetting about barriers to truly connect. While an ENFP might be criticized for being superficial and flighty in their relationships, I'm grateful they are able to spread so much of their brand of love around, because apparently we need it. Asking someone questions, listening to them, and being somehow emotional invested in someone should not be flirting.
    okay you i love...let's make out.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  5. #235
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    Quote Originally Posted by TwinkleToes View Post
    On the accusal of enfp flirting, I have a theory.

    We are all so separated by our own perceptions of differences from each other (that "otherness" feeling) that when someone (like an awesome ENFP) can cut through the garbage and engage someone, look them in the eyes, really listen to them, it is so alien to their normal interactions that it can only be understood as flirting. These are normal interactions for these people, and they are truly interested and empathetic. I think this accusal and issue says a lot more about our collective loneliness and human desire for attention and appreciation, than it does the limitations of social conduct.

    I would ideally like to see more people taking social cues from ENFPesque people and forgetting about barriers to truly connect. While an ENFP might be criticized for being superficial and flighty in their relationships, I'm grateful they are able to spread so much of their brand of love around, because apparently we need it. Asking someone questions, listening to them, and being somehow emotional invested in someone should not be flirting.
    That isn't flirting though as I understood we were discussing it... I engage with people the way you have described as well. I am all for building warm relationships!

  6. #236
    in-game Gamine's Avatar
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    And these people being worried (either as an ENFP, or someone in a relationship with an ENFP) I think it comes down to communication. An ex of mine was an ENFP, and we used to work rooms together. We would go around, get stories, collect people, and by the end of the night have then doing some sort of dance choreographed by us. We had so many amazing experiences like that, where we connected with people (on different levels) and our perspectives were the most Nedelicious thing together.

    That being said, he loved to push my boundaries as well. Going out together, sometimes he would launch into full on flirting (lots of physical contact, whispering, hand holding, cheek kissing) with the intent to make me jealous, or to get a reaction out of me. My only reaction would be to laugh at him and walk away. I'm not saying all ENFP's do this, this particular one had a severe issue with getting attention from others (negative and positive) and I found out later that he had been cheating with other girls for 2/3 of the relationship. His reasoning was that I wasn't jealous enough for him, that I didn't yell or hit or cry when he did these things, that he was sad that I didn't care enough to be jealous. My reasoning: If someone wants to be with someone else, I'm not going to stop them. I only expect that they will have the decency to tell me before it happens


    People are giving you guys bad names. Let's go give them stern stares.
    "Beware Those Who Are ALWAYS READING BOOKS" - Bukowski

  7. #237
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    yeah...for real...i'm not going to stop anyone either. if they need me to freak out and tell them to stop it's just not going to work that's some weird twisted game that i refuse to play...if you want to be with me...fucking act like it...or go be with someone else.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  8. #238
    Once Was Synarch's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TwinkleToes View Post
    And these people being worried (either as an ENFP, or someone in a relationship with an ENFP) I think it comes down to communication. An ex of mine was an ENFP, and we used to work rooms together. We would go around, get stories, collect people, and by the end of the night have then doing some sort of dance choreographed by us. We had so many amazing experiences like that, where we connected with people (on different levels) and our perspectives were the most Nedelicious thing together.

    That being said, he loved to push my boundaries as well. Going out together, sometimes he would launch into full on flirting (lots of physical contact, whispering, hand holding, cheek kissing) with the intent to make me jealous, or to get a reaction out of me. My only reaction would be to laugh at him and walk away. I'm not saying all ENFP's do this, this particular one had a severe issue with getting attention from others (negative and positive) and I found out later that he had been cheating with other girls for 2/3 of the relationship. His reasoning was that I wasn't jealous enough for him, that I didn't yell or hit or cry when he did these things, that he was sad that I didn't care enough to be jealous. My reasoning: If someone wants to be with someone else, I'm not going to stop them. I only expect that they will have the decency to tell me before it happens


    People are giving you guys bad names. Let's go give them stern stares.
    You're not really helping the cause of the flirters.
    "Create like a god, command like a king, work like a slave."

  9. #239
    half mystic, half skeksis jenocyde's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TwinkleToes View Post
    His reasoning was that I wasn't jealous enough for him, that I didn't yell or hit or cry when he did these things, that he was sad that I didn't care enough to be jealous. My reasoning: If someone wants to be with someone else, I'm not going to stop them. I only expect that they will have the decency to tell me before it happens
    Sorry twink (and all the others who expressed similar sentiments...)

    It sucks to be betrayed. I am very partial to ENFP men for that crazy Ne connection and warm, congenial nature - but I've never truly let myself fall for one. The "leading your body with your heart" thing doesn't feel so secure to me. I value commitments and I don't take them lightly, I could never just "fall" for someone else, or "accidentally" cheat, or hurt someone because I was hurt. Not everyone out there is like that, but it is prevalent. Oh well, back to the drawing board, right?

  10. #240
    meh Salomé's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TwinkleToes View Post
    I found out later that he had been cheating with other girls for 2/3 of the relationship. His reasoning was that I wasn't jealous enough for him, that I didn't yell or hit or cry when he did these things, that he was sad that I didn't care enough to be jealous.
    Jesus!
    NF rationalizations suck ass.
    My reasoning: If someone wants to be with someone else, I'm not going to stop them. I only expect that they will have the decency to tell me before it happens
    +100001

    Quote Originally Posted by Sytpg View Post
    you seem very bitter. Blue too.
    Synarch seems blue, or Blue seems bitter?

    Five minutes ago you were agreeing with me! Fickle ENFPs.....

    I still them tho.
    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    Gosh, the world looks so small from up here on my high horse of menstruation.

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