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  1. #11
    violaine
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    Quote Originally Posted by kyuuei View Post
    Someone who is the jealous type ... it makes for a stressful lifestyle to end up trying to date someone that you knew beforehand to be flirtacious.
    I agree, though I don't know if I'm the jealous type. My problem with flirting (if we are dating) is that the person they are flirting with often takes it seriously. And quite rightly. That really annoys me. It feels especially disrespectful/humiliating if done in front of me or if I find out that the other person has developed feelings for my b/f. I balk at having a relationship with someone who can't not flirt.

    How do ENFPs feel if your partners flirt with others? How do you feel if your partners ask you not to do it? If you flirt, why do you think you do? (I have to go out but would love to read some answers tomorrow... I can't see how an ENFP would not perceive it as hurtful to their partner?)

  2. #12
    Emperor/Dictator kyuuei's Avatar
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    ^ Well, as I said, I based my statement on pure type.. If we were looking at the stereotypical ENFP, as a stereotypical human being.. I could see it. And I definitely am aware that my single ENFP friends have total different morals than when they are engaged in a relationship. So I said I could see it as likely.

    I believe it is our morals and our own decisions as people and characters that play a big role in pulling the reigns on potential exploits while in a relationship. We respect people a lot, and we seem to have a decent amount of empathy that keeps us back as well.
    Kantgirl: Just say "I'm feminine and I'll punch anyone who says otherwise!"
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  3. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by seeker22 View Post
    Take for example the INTP I am pursuing at the moment... I am becoming involved knowing full well she is emotionally aloof. For right now, the "chase" is fun - but down the road - I can already tell this is going to spell trouble when my F rears its ugly head and collides with her T!
    You should date an ENTP. A fun time will be had by all- until it isn't.

  4. #14
    Emperor/Dictator kyuuei's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sanveane View Post
    I agree, though I don't know if I'm the jealous type. My problem with flirting (if we are dating) is that the person they are flirting with often takes it seriously. And quite rightly. That really annoys me. It feels especially disrespectful/humiliating if done in front of me or if I find out that the other person has developed feelings for my b/f. I balk at having a relationship with someone who can't not flirt.

    How do ENFPs feel if your partners flirt with others? How do you feel if your partners ask you not to do it? If you flirt, why do you think you do? (I have to go out but would love to read some answers tomorrow... I can't see how an ENFP would not perceive it as hurtful to their partner?)
    THis is a good point.

    If it's someone like TucsonENTP.. someone who's very nature is flirtacious. He'll openly admit to flirting with 60 year old women that run stop-n-go stores. It takes two to tango, and I'd hate to try and change a man who is who he is.

    On the other hand.. I think my flirting style DOES change when I'm in a relationship. I tend to cut things off if I feel they get too far, whereas I'd let it go on in a single lifestyle. If someone was flirting in a way that was the way I would *truly* flirt, I would be upset, yes.

    I had a boyfriend that was hug and tell girls they were hawt and that he'd love to have this and that.. while I stood right there. Taking advantage of the fact that I'm not the jealous type is not a good idea. Nor is it a good thing to take advantage of my understanding. Trying to push my boundaries is one of my boundaries.
    Kantgirl: Just say "I'm feminine and I'll punch anyone who says otherwise!"
    Halla74: Think your way through the world. Feel your way through life.

    Cimarron: maybe Prpl will be your girl-bud
    prplchknz: i don't like it

    In Search Of... ... Kiwi Sketch Art ... Dream Journal ... Kyuuei's Cook book ... Kyu's Tiny House Blog ... Minimalist Challenge ... Kyu's Savings Challenge

  5. #15
    violaine
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    Quote Originally Posted by kyuuei View Post
    THis is a good point.

    If it's someone like TucsonENTP.. someone who's very nature is flirtacious. He'll openly admit to flirting with 60 year old women that run stop-n-go stores. It takes two to tango, and I'd hate to try and change a man who is who he is.

    On the other hand.. I think my flirting style DOES change when I'm in a relationship. I tend to cut things off if I feel they get too far, whereas I'd let it go on in a single lifestyle. If someone was flirting in a way that was the way I would *truly* flirt, I would be upset, yes.

    I had a boyfriend that was hug and tell girls they were hawt and that he'd love to have this and that.. while I stood right there. Taking advantage of the fact that I'm not the jealous type is not a good idea. Nor is it a good thing to take advantage of my understanding. Trying to push my boundaries is one of my boundaries.
    Ewww, I am sorry to hear that.

    Yes, I am the same. Very easy going unless you give me a reason not to be. If given too many reasons I will be doorslamming said person. I often wonder how very flirtatious people (who don't alter their behavior in a relationship) react if their partners do it too. I have noticed they don't take to it kindly at all! Seems like a huge double standard in those cases. (Ok, really going out now.)

  6. #16
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    mine's not easily jealous as long as he comes first. And I wouldn't mind if he did the same as long as I came first as well. I don't cheat, but I tend to enjoy flirting with the edge, without ever crossing it.
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  7. #17
    Charting a course
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    Stop teasing me.

  8. #18
    Earth Exalted Thursday's Avatar
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    People do not realize that flirting = not serious banter
    So sad
    I N V I C T U S

  9. #19
    Senior Member alcea rosea's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by seeker22 View Post
    As an ENFP, I am often times accused of being a hopeless flirt... In my mind, I'm simply playfully engaging others and giving them attention. My ex gf (SJ) and I would get in huge fights over this for the five years we were together. (And btw no I never cheated) She said I had no "emotional boundaries." What really sucks is when you think you are just being fun and nice, and the other person mistakes it for genuine romantic interest. Others?
    I think my behavior can be seen as flirt even if it's not flirt in my opinion. I see my behavior as open, friendly and making lots of jokes. Some people can see that as flirt???

    Quote Originally Posted by MacGuffin View Post
    What's wrong with flirts?
    Nothing I guess. I myself wouldn't like to give wrong impression to anybody that I would be interested then in other ways than being friends because I'm happy being married and I adore my husband.

    So, some people can see flirt so that the other people is really interested in them in the way that there would be something in there. I don't like that impression to anybody because I'm extremely committed to my own relationship.

    Quote Originally Posted by Wild horses View Post
    I really can't see how ENFPs are more prone to cheating that other types.. Even SJs... I just reckon they are more thorough in their cover up and so less likley to get caught
    I don't think ENFP's are. ENFP's behavior can be mistake of being cheat even if it's actually not.

    Quote Originally Posted by Biaxident View Post
    Stop teasing me.

  10. #20
    Once Was Synarch's Avatar
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    Flirting is not without consequence. This is a recent epiphany for me. I used to think it was harmless.

    Edit: After reading this, I think I understood it was not harmless. But, I did it anyway.
    "Create like a god, command like a king, work like a slave."

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