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  1. #11
    Te > Fi > Ni Shaula's Avatar
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    I feel like I'm lagging behind all the time. Most of my friends are going to graduate from university soon and I haven't even attended one single college or made any significant progress in the working world.

    I feel intellectually and socially behind my peers. I feel like a failure sometimes.
    Is not to be held accuntable for peeling errors.

  2. #12
    Seriously Delirious Udog's Avatar
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    Yes, on several fronts.

    The good news (sort of) is that the majority of people just kind of wade passively through life. You may never catch up to the handful of people that have been giving full effort their entire life, but it's never too late to catch up and surpass everyone else.

  3. #13
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    Yes, you just described my life perfectly.

    I missed the culture of a whole decade, thanks to my very religious environment. I am just completing my Associate's Degree at age 28. Ack.

    I try to just be happy that I've begun to thrive and enjoy my life, and be excited about all the new things I'm learning. It's never too late.

  4. #14
    the Dark Prophet of Kualu
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    Quote Originally Posted by Skyward View Post
    Ditto
    Tritto ... ( ? )

    Quote Originally Posted by kelric View Post
    There's not much doubt that I'm lagging behind in many ways - particularly socially - in that, I'm on the downside of the hill of what's possible. Meaning that I'm old enough that most people my age are "over" the whole social thing and spend much more time with their spouses, raising their kids, etc. - they're established in the stage of their lives that I've not really even stepped on the path toward - and it's only getting more difficult. I've made some efforts to get out more, but I haven't really had much success.
    I took it back by interacting with waaay younger kids than myself. o.O Sort of made a transcend to quite sociable nowadays. Or former days rather. Now I would be considered an "introvert" again.

    Quote Originally Posted by Shaula View Post
    I feel like I'm lagging behind all the time. Most of my friends are going to graduate from university soon and I haven't even attended one single college or made any significant progress in the working world.
    Hrrm. I live on a loan from my pa atm. I did some work for some time. Didn't work out though. "" Anyway, I am going to Chinese lessons in a university but I ain't motivated enough. I feel inept to take on classes. Rather, I need something to identify with. Our teacher just does it by the book. -.-'' "aping around" is what we are supposed to do, after her. -.-''.

    Wait, back to topic.

    I would consider myself normal, except for the part of; Going back to younger kids to be able to develope social skills and take my "lost years" back.


    I'm wondering, would you say that you've Lived your life all the time or just a bit of it? o.O
    Open for interpretation.
    Jo
    Fell for the temptation: Nohari / Johari

  5. #15
    half-nut member briochick's Avatar
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    yes. I was quite innocent when I came out of high school. Didn't drive until I was 17. Didn't drink 'till I was 21. Then I took nearly six years to graduate. Now I'm a year out and 25 and others are a year out and 23 and I feel behind (especially because I don't have some corporate job). Also, my father was incredibly emotionally unstable/abusive an' after 18 years of that I learned to trust neither myself nor men. Though I'm aware of the issue and working on it I know it's seriously stunted me socially, especially when when it comes to guys, and the few who have asked me out/said they liked me and I've gone like this: "....*blink* *blink* O.o Weeeeeee! Run away! Run away! *scampers off stuttering some stupid excuse and blushing*" *^_^* I'm working on it. But, yeah, feel very very behind.
    -Brio

    "I have never in my life envied a human being who led an easy life; I have envied a great many people who led difficult lives and led them well."
    -Teddy Roosevelt
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  6. #16
    Protocol Droid Athenian200's Avatar
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    Wow.

    I have to say, this isn't what I thought it was. I've felt as if I'm out of sync with people, but... it's not like I feel that there's a single track through life with several points that I'm supposed to pass, and I've got to compare my progress with that of other people.

    Why is it necessary to perceive things through that paradigm? That everyone has to get the same basic achievements that have been defined as desirable by a group of people that are often respected, and some people have got more of them than others, and that is decidedly positive? I mean, sure that kind of logic makes sense playing a video game, but I hardly think it's appropriate to apply it to real, individual people.

    Could someone explain why it's done this way? I don't get it.

  7. #17
    Senior Member something boring's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Athenian200 View Post
    Wow.

    I have to say, this isn't what I thought it was. I've felt as if I'm out of sync with people, but... it's not like I feel that there's a single track with several points that I'm supposed to pass, and I've got to compare my progress with that of other people.

    Why is it necessary to perceive things through that paradigm? That everyone has to get the same basic achievements that have been defined as desirable by the collective, and some people have got more of them than others, and that is decidedly positive? I mean, sure that kind of logic makes sense playing a video game, but I hardly think it's appropriate to apply it to real, individual people.

    Could someone explain why it's done this way? I don't get it.
    +1
    "Don�t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive." - Howard Thurman


    [SIGPIC]http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l110/evillinclinations/fortune45.gif[/SIGPIC]

    ...and yes, I'm still on about that...






  8. #18
    half-nut member briochick's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Athenian200 View Post

    Why is it necessary to perceive things through that paradigm? That everyone has to get the same basic achievements that have been defined as desirable by a group of people that are often respected, and some people have got more of them than others, and that is decidedly positive? I mean, sure that kind of logic makes sense playing a video game, but I hardly think it's appropriate to apply it to real, individual people.

    Could someone explain why it's done this way? I don't get it.
    Well, I know that I have always desired other people's approval, and they expect certain things of me, which I haven't achieved. It feels like strike one right off the bad. They don't even get to decide that I'm too-whatever, they're already looking at me distastefully for what I haven't achieved.
    Example; One of my co-workers (graduated last year just like me) heard that I was struggling to figure out where I was headed after this and money stuff with the economy. She made some comment which I can't and I said something about "Yeah, but I'm 25, I feel like I should be doing adult things." And she got this look of disgust on her face and said "Oh, I didn't realized you were *that* old. Well, maybe you can try for an *unpaid* internship."

    Now, side story is that she doesn't like me for whatever reason and I'm stupid enough to be nice and try to talk to her when I'm stuck in a room with her, which always results in me being insulted but it was my lagging behind which she chose to fixate on, and the idea that it devalued me.

    There's also the idea that if these traits or achievements-by-a-certain time are desired by those respected than you will receive more if you achieve them. And I think, sort of an idea that those who have achieved them rule society while everyone else is subordinate to them.

    I personally wish I could *stop* thinking this way. It would make my life a lot less stressful.
    -Brio

    "I have never in my life envied a human being who led an easy life; I have envied a great many people who led difficult lives and led them well."
    -Teddy Roosevelt
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  9. #19
    Protocol Droid Athenian200's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by briochick View Post
    Well, I know that I have always desired other people's approval, and they expect certain things of me, which I haven't achieved. It feels like strike one right off the bad. They don't even get to decide that I'm too-whatever, they're already looking at me distastefully for what I haven't achieved.
    Example; One of my co-workers (graduated last year just like me) heard that I was struggling to figure out where I was headed after this and money stuff with the economy. She made some comment which I can't and I said something about "Yeah, but I'm 25, I feel like I should be doing adult things." And she got this look of disgust on her face and said "Oh, I didn't realized you were *that* old. Well, maybe you can try for an *unpaid* internship."

    Now, side story is that she doesn't like me for whatever reason and I'm stupid enough to be nice and try to talk to her when I'm stuck in a room with her, which always results in me being insulted but it was my lagging behind which she chose to fixate on, and the idea that it devalued me.

    There's also the idea that if these traits or achievements-by-a-certain time are desired by those respected than you will receive more if you achieve them. And I think, sort of an idea that those who have achieved them rule society while everyone else is subordinate to them.

    I personally wish I could *stop* thinking this way. It would make my life a lot less stressful.
    I guess I sort of understand that, then. I prefer not to be disliked, but my approach is generally to avoid people (or at least avoid letting them get to know things about me) so that I don't have to deal with their opinions about me. Which is actually pretty screwed up but in a different way.

    But still... why is "more" respect better? I guess what I think it would be best to do, is try to associate with people who value things in similar ways to myself. For two reasons... one, even if you achieve the respect of these people you're trying to impress, you still won't really relate to them (or vice-versa) or feel fulfilled by what you've done, because it wasn't what you wanted. Second, it's generally much more satisfying to be respected by people you relate to for doing things that you consider important, than it is to be respected by people you don't relate to for doing things you feel like you're just "supposed" to do.

    Does that make sense? I should note that I'm probably not in a good position to be giving advice to other people, but I felt I should say this.

    Lastly, I guess I'll make one more note. It's quite possible that you're somehow "stuck" with this perspective on some level because you've been exposed to it so often, and that could make it very difficult to be fulfilled. It's an unfortunate tendency of human beings to unconsciously and without choice absorb the ideas and behaviors of others. Often, even in being disgusted by such a thing, you've still acknowledged it's presence in a way you can't control, and have thus given it power you probably didn't want it to have.

  10. #20
    Member Manimal's Avatar
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    oh man i constantly feel this way, for years ive thought this!!! i usualy find i lag behind in areas like family, career, amassing stuff but i also find im way ahead of the curve in alot of other areas like personal growth type stuff.

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