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  1. #1
    Senior Member Tiny Army's Avatar
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    Default Fi and talk therapy.

    So, I have been in and out of therapy for years now and no matter how many times I change therapists I have the same problem; I cannot analyse how I feel with someone else studying my feelings as well. I'm an extrovert. I'm supposed to function better in company but it never works in this case.

    When I'm by myself I often think about my feelings and why I have them, even how I feel about the feelings I am having. However I lose touch with the part of my brain that does that when other people are in the room. All I can do is theorise about what they are thinking.

    I just wanted to know if anyone else here has experienced something similar and if you wouldn't mind sharing your experiences/how you overcame this kind of block.

  2. #2
    garbage
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tiny Army View Post
    When I'm by myself I often think about my feelings and why I have them, even how I feel about the feelings I am having. However I lose touch with the part of my brain that does that when other people are in the room. All I can do is theorise about what they are thinking.

    I just wanted to know if anyone else here has experienced something similar and if you wouldn't mind sharing your experiences/how you overcame this kind of block.
    Keep a journal of the thoughts and feelings you experience when you're by yourself, then present those to your therapist for discussion. When your therapist gives you more stuff to think about, do it on your own. Rinse and repeat.

    Also.. try discussing this specific issue with your therapist, too.

  3. #3
    a scream in a vortex nanook's Avatar
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    However I lose touch with the part of my brain that does that when other people are in the room.
    +1


    ... have no solution,...

    except that i dont see talk therapy as valuable (anymore), unless its very straight shadow-work (where a therapist can help to stay disciplined, but you do it on your own, mostly). in shadow work, you don't ask for feelings. they will come an get you. but i don't know a therapist who specializes on this brand, so i am not going there, personally.

    other than that i highly value clinical approaches to therapy. these include things as bodywork, soundtheraphy, dynamic meditation, stuff that will connect you with those parts of the brain. and you are sort of alone with it, but thats okay, cause the psyche has mad selfhealing skillz, once its connected with it self.

    actually, i think you should really second guess, what values "feelings" have, in a healing process. cuz you know, the psyche is a structural thing with levels and feelings are just one room somewhere in that skyscraper. in some cases its just a narcissistic approach, to try to look at all those personal egocentric feelings about just anything. actually this way we will create even more emotions. because we are made believe, that everything should be an emotional issues. thats the narcissistic mode. the re-active mode. the victim mode. getting into such a mode will not necessarily connect us with the kind of intelligence that fixes our structures. to access structures, we must access content (complications, interpretations, believes, active core motivations, rather than re-active emotions about random stuff). if pulling out emotions leads to association of the mind with such complications, than that's fine. but it does not work in that direction for a LOT of people. and thats not their fault.

    don't take my word for it!

    but this has been said before. something like that.

    originally the idea of therapy is to strengthen the personality. the ego. the idea is, that a patient is caught in a child like mode and needs to grow up. the experience of self, emotional strength and self-centered-ness is, what give a child "confidence" against the world. if that is not what the patient is actually troubled with, than all the reinforcing of self-worth and acceptance of feelings of vulnerability and stuff .. thats just not the right goal. even if it may not be harmful. it's sort of harmful, if the true issues will not be addressed.

  4. #4
    lab rat extraordinaire CrystalViolet's Avatar
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    I detach big time when I'm talking to therapists about how I feel. I had a very good therapist years back who called me on it. I'm not sure if I ever fixed the problem, I haven't been to therapy since her (I moved countries), and I probably should have.
    Have you thought about a journal? So you can write it down when you actually thinking about how you feel. I think that's what we ended up doing in my case. Especially when dealing with big issues - I had to write down my dreams after each session, as well, because I suppressed so much. It may not be relevant for you. The journal was good though. I still do it some times. She used to get me to read it to her.
    Currently submerged under an avalanche of books and paper work. I may come back up for air from time to time.
    Real life awaits and she is a demanding mistress.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  5. #5
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tiny Army View Post
    So, I have been in and out of therapy for years now and no matter how many times I change therapists I have the same problem; I cannot analyse how I feel with someone else studying my feelings as well. I'm an extrovert. I'm supposed to function better in company but it never works in this case.

    When I'm by myself I often think about my feelings and why I have them, even how I feel about the feelings I am having. However I lose touch with the part of my brain that does that when other people are in the room. All I can do is theorise about what they are thinking.

    I just wanted to know if anyone else here has experienced something similar and if you wouldn't mind sharing your experiences/how you overcame this kind of block.
    true..me too. my thoughts are in their head instead of my own and then i figure out how i feel about it after by myself. makes it difficult to have "feeling" talks unless i've already thought about what i need to say.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  6. #6
    Senior Member professor goodstain's Avatar
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    I just started to BS'em. Besides occupation, everthing else borders on an extended amount of BS. The BS factor is everywhere. Once i caught on to its transparency earlier in life i found that BS is highly respected in society. It's when a therapist notices my BS is when i can truly be intervened. Because my true self on the outside is percieved as a bunch of BS due to the reality of only BS'n minimally which gave me a rep that could make everything i'm about a bunch of BS.

    A therapist is always trying to find what they percieve to be the person i am. So i just be honest and Bs'em a little. And sure enough it actually gets us somewhere.

    As far as the environment described in the OP, One focuses on the people or person in their immediate environment and theorises about what people are thinking. Maybe the other person/s (therapist) too are theorising on what the other is thinking and suppressing their own feelings because it's part of their occupation. Or the stuff they hear day to day plus the awareness of the BS factor desensitizes themselves in the possibility to assist by theorising about what others are feeling by using their feelings.
    everyone uses every function about evenly. take NE for example. if there are those who don't use it much, then why are there such massive amounts of people constantly flowing through Wallmart with 20 items or less?

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