[NF] Why are emotions so important to you?

[á´…eparted]

Life would be meaningless without them.

 

[Population: 1]

Ah this is amusing. No one is emotionless. Some are more emotional than others but the fact of the matter is emotions drive us all to some extent, even if they are but a subtle tug on decision making. In Star Trek terms, you might try to emulate Data but the fact is you're at best Mr. Spock.

How important are emotions to me? I use them as a tool in my outlook and decision making process. They are a factor but I always try to have them flavor my thoughts instead of cloud them. It's obviously not always possible and the more I'm invested in a person or a situation the more they'll effect my actions.

As a INFP my internal values will also shape my decisions but values do not necessarily equate with emotions.

 

[Abcdenfp]

"Emotions are when the heart speak out, it's basically a nagivation device. It's the subconscious speaking out to us. I listened to my logical reasoning despite my emotions feeling otherwise. It lead me down what I feel is the wrong path."
to me this rings true, it's like emotions are my compass and when I'm not sure of something I look at them to regain my sense of true north. But I think perhaps it is because NF's spend a lot of time using emotions as a tool to navagate the world especially when we are healthy, we are able to feel them, collect the data and THEN let them guide our steps. But the same tool in some else's hand who is not used to gauging it, although it still gives them access to same valuable information they are unsure of how to read it and so it could trip them up. We place a great deal of value on emotions so we treat them with respect both ours and others.

 

[Yuurei]

I know that nothing here has so far been directed at me but I need to clarify a common misunderstanding: the question was "why are emotions important?" It was mot " Do you have emotions?"

Even as a strong "T. I am very aware that I have emotions. No matter how hard those inhealthy meme-spewing INTJ's try to insist otherwise, no ONE " replaces emotion with logic."

It's true that I do not base my decisions on my emotions because as I said previously: consequences.

Without emotions I would not care at all about consequences in the first place. " Why do I wish to avoid suffering consequences?" because consequences make me feel all manner if " bad".
If I truly felt nothing I would just do whatever I want and deal with the consequences, probably laughing and flipping the double bird while I fried in the electric chair.
Self preservation being ingrained as it is does not want us to do that so we have emotions to stop us from acting carelessly and suffering consequences which endanger our well being.

Yes, I have emotions. I even understand them fairly well. As a goal-oriented thinker I do not find them important rather, a hinderance, in my decision making process.

 

[Wunjo]

There's two sides to everything in life; considering the ethical perspective gives you a more balanced and effective decision.

That's about the value your conscious or unconscious mind puts on your understanding of the concept of ethics, so it is not possible to generalize that. Personally, I find predefined moral codes highly expendable and limiting one's own experience of life and value, for if we base our judgments on something which was defined for us or something which was defined to us by our sensations and ways to interpret the world, it'd make us harder to adapt and more resistant for a new sense of self, thus susceptible to a breakdown, if any drastic personality change about this fact tends to happen.

People tend to deny their emotions when they are enslaved to them, yes, but they are not enslaved to them as in the sense of compulsively acting upon them, rather they are enslaved them in the sense of compulsively denying them. Denying the existence of your emotions or putting a little value on them are extremely different but you seem to have a perception that these are closely related things. If so, that is not really agreeable, for in order to put a value to something you need to be aware of its existence, and when you deny something, you shut your awareness to its existence, then it'd be impossible to put a value on it, be it high or low. It would be a paradox.

I think you are wrong when you bind impulsive and emotional behaviour together, for an emotion, if it concerns ethics for you, desires justification, whereas an impulse has no such needs.

Every human being displays emotion, even antisocials and schizoids, to a degree, but when you give that "feeling" a thorough reason, it becomes entirely up to you to act upon it or not. I think overvaluing emotion is the way for highly emotional people to create a safe zone in where their ethics can survive, for it makes a strong part of their sense of self.

I, on the other hand, don't believe in a self. A receiver with constantly shifting inputs and outputs can have no stable existence and when something does not have a stable existence, it can't be defined.

 

[burningranger]

Put simply emotions are your ONLY way of becoming aware of your subconscious thoughts and beliefs as well as your personal preferences in life. Without emotional self-awareness no human can be effective because they are not even aware where their motivation to do something comes from - if it's merely socially conditioned, exteranly imposed or something genuine and self-benefitial.

Emotions are the only truth barometer we have for anything regarding our relationship with the world or other people. Now, emotions can be clouded. Just having emotions wont' make you any wiser...otherwise we would all be walking buddhas. But there can be no understanding of yourself or your world when you are not aware of them.

 

[Norexan]

Why is emotion necessary for purpose?

Understanding people needs and desires.

 

[Virtual ghost]

Dear intj,

Emotion is information.

Information is knowledge.

Knowledge is power - which you know, or you wouldnt be asking this question.

In my case, this type of information is also fascination and happiness, as its knowledge allows me to diminish suffering in tve world. It is kind of like getting the remote to an enormous fire alarm that's been blaring since i was born.

What you re asking is akin to someone who doesnt feel pain asking why you stop running just because your foot got broken.

Because it fucking hurts - and for a good reason. Pain is a warning system that helps us be kind to our body.

While emotions are a more complex system with a wider range, it is equally vital, unignorable and worthy of consideration. While your body removes the pain st first so you can flee, it doubles down on it when you re safe so you re forced to let it heal. I find the same logic applies to emotions. Yes, they sometimes get in the way short term, so by all means turn them off then, but in the long run, doing so chronically cripples you and worse.

There is a reason a person who feels no pain has to check their body all the time for damage.


Ime, this is no different.

Dear ENFP, since you are taking this so seriously I suggest that you study when this thread was actually created.

 

[Amargith]

Some questions are evergreen

Besides, i liked the style the other poster used woth 'dear intj' so i felt inspired.

 

[VILLANELLE]

There is alot of talk about emotions on this board but it looks to me that there is little about something quite basic in this story.


Why NFs care so much about emotions? What is so special about them?
Are they important because you have alot of them or it here something else?
(or both)


Are there situations in which emotions are totally irrelevant from your perspective?


I remember that once one NF on this board said that one of his/her worst fears is that he/she will become a robot. (in emotional sense)
So I am wondering how many NFs can relate to this.

I can answer your last point, and I'll try and answer your questions. I can really relate to the worst fear of being an emotional robot. I often feel like that, but I know I'm not. It's just that I always imagine certain situations, and say they happen... and say you (well, I) don't react how it's expected. You kind of worry, like, are you fucked up? But everyone processes things and goes through things differently. I find myself swinging back and forth between feelings. I don't really know how to describe myself very well, it makes me feel empty. But I know I'm a full person.

But looking back, I feel my reactions aren't enough. But we all take life events differently and we all beat ourselves up over things...

I guess NFs worry about their emotions a lot because they don't want to come off as fake. At least, this is my experiences. I worry that I'm not kind or real enough, even if I'm assured that's completely the opposite. I don't know why.

I feel like emotions are really important.. I mean, they are. Are they valued in all situations? Yes and no. Sometimes you have to think outside of yourself, think not about what you want, but what someone else wants. It's not always about you. Sometimes you have to think with your heart and go with your gut... which is what a lot of people do anyways, regardless of type, everyone does what's best for them in their lives, either all the time or at certain moments. And if people don't always get gut feelings, instincts, that's fine too, about things.

 

[PumpkinMayCare]

I don't think my emotions are all so important to me, but my values certainly are.

 

[Frosty]

My values reinforce my emotions- my emotions reinforce my values. My emotions- even if they arent always positive- let me know what I feel about things and direct me towards them. Without them- life would be... well honestly I feel meaningless. Id jusr be plowing forwards with no care to what I plow through. Emotions let me look around. Make it worth looking around. Exploring. Exploring who I really am and what I want to be.

 

[❀༺♥༻ℭ𝔞𝔢𝔩𝔦𝔞_𝔄𝔦𝔰𝔩𝔦𝔫𝔤༺♥༻❀༺]

Wow.. I didn't realize I caused such commotion on an initially dead thread lol.
[MENTION=32548]Glados[/MENTION]

I was rather tired, and I realize I left out some things I wanted to say, so I didn't explain myself properly. But thank you for respectfully bringing it to my attention. Using both rational and ethical intelligence to make a decision is not simply derived from "my ethics." A lack of emotional intelligence can disrupt even your work life. Employers are looking for people who know how to listen and communicate well, to be able to work with others. These are important aspects of emotional intelligence. Emotion affects all aspects of your life, it doesn't mean you shouldn't value rationality but ethics are equally as important. I think a lack of understanding towards your emotions can come out two ways, depending who you are. Either acting impulsively on your feelings, which as you said, doesn't require justification like ethics would. Or, you compulsively deny them, numb your feelings entirely.

But neither of these approaches work because you can't selectively deny feelings. You can't go "here's my fear, anxiety, anger, disappointment, shame, etc. I don't wanna feel these" and then go numb it with alcohol or drowning in your work or whatever your escape is. Because we also numb our positive feelings by doing so. And then we are miserable, looking for purpose and meaning, and we feel vulnerable again so we go back to our numbness. It's this vicious cycle. And then you can't focus, you lose the clear rational perspective that you wanted to preserve by ignoring these emotions. But emotions will find a way to leak out even if you deny them. You may not understand them or even express them, since you refused to acknowledge their importance, but you are nonetheless feeling them. People get angry whether they want to or not. Some people might get angrier than others, depending on their temperament, but they will still get angry. But being able to understand and cope with these feelings is what gives you true power over them.

When you have no control over your emotions they control you. You don't get the opportunity to grow if you refuse to control them. You don't need to "highly value" them but you should welcome them into your life. Refusing to frankly self sabotage. I believe overvaluing anything is bad, overvaluing logic is a way highly rational people create a "safe zone" to avoid the unpredictability/irrationality of emotion and preserve their objectivity.

I'm curious about something though, why don't you believe in a self?

 

[Wunjo]

Wow.. I didn't realize I caused such commotion on an initially dead thread lol.

[MENTION=32548]Glados[/MENTION]

I was rather tired, and I realize I left out some things I wanted to say, so I didn't explain myself properly. But thank you for respectfully bringing it to my attention. Using both rational and ethical intelligence to make a decision is not simply derived from "my ethics." A lack of emotional intelligence can disrupt even your work life. Employers are looking for people who know how to listen and communicate well, to be able to work with others. These are important aspects of emotional intelligence. Emotion affects all aspects of your life, it doesn't mean you shouldn't value rationality but ethics are equally as important. I think a lack of understanding towards your emotions can come out two ways, depending who you are. Either acting impulsively on your feelings, which as you said, doesn't require justification like ethics would. Or, you compulsively deny them, numb your feelings entirely.

But neither of these approaches work because you can't selectively deny feelings. You can't go "here's my fear, anxiety, anger, disappointment, shame, etc. I don't wanna feel these" and then go numb it with alcohol or drowning in your work or whatever your escape is. Because we also numb our positive feelings by doing so. And then we are miserable, looking for purpose and meaning, and we feel vulnerable again so we go back to our numbness. It's this vicious cycle. And then you can't focus, you lose the clear rational perspective that you wanted to preserve by ignoring these emotions. But emotions will find a way to leak out even if you deny them. You may not understand them or even express them, since you refused to acknowledge their importance, but you are nonetheless feeling them. People get angry whether they want to or not. Some people might get angrier than others, depending on their temperament, but they will still get angry. But being able to understand and cope with these feelings is what gives you true power over them.

When you have no control over your emotions they control you. You don't get the opportunity to grow if you refuse to control them. You don't need to "highly value" them but you should welcome them into your life. Refusing to frankly self sabotage. I believe overvaluing anything is bad, overvaluing logic is a way highly rational people create a "safe zone" to avoid the unpredictability/irrationality of emotion and preserve their objectivity.

I'm curious about something though, why don't you believe in a self?

Firstly, that's a quite nice explanation for the issues I have pointed out before, thank you for that.

Yes, a lack of emotional intelligence can distrupt a lot, but the value you or anyone puts on the concept of emotions does not always have to be self-referential. You can develop emotional intelligence in a cognitive way, which will help you to listen to people and to communicate with them, what I am saying is that you do not need to be "emotional" or "emotion oriented" to do that.

I agree that emotions need to be controlled, or that they would control you, yet the concept of valuing is very much so related to the concept of self or non-self in this matter, our "self" is shaped by the experiences happen to us in life, which are evaluated in both conscious and unconscious ways, yet, the results of those evaluations are limited to our behavioural and thinking patterns, which feed each other, thus, the concept of self or ethics we reach to can never give us the full truth, or the full emptiness of the matter, the perspectives are so vast that none of them can be defined as valuable or unique, for each of them can be attributed to a value or a degree of uniqueness, we choose, based on our habits, presumptions, beliefs and conditionings, and think that those choices give us a sense of self, truth is, correlated to the perspectives, the choices are vast too, almost infinite, so every single one of them, in the greater picture, are irrelevant, for choosing one limits us to the wisdom or the consequence of the other. We believe that there is a self, and only that creates a self in our mind, but how true and verifiable our beliefs can be when the possibilities are innumerable?

That is why I don't "believe", or "think", there is a self.

You can't deny them selectively, yes, I am not saying you to deny them, or such, yet if you are mindful enough, I think, you can realise the presumptions and unconsciously given values lying behind them and when you do that, the experience stops. That is one of the reasons why I concur that they are mostly illusory. They could be experienced and those experiences can be encouraged, but not for the value they hold, like everything, the encouragement is simply for the purpose of being in the moment. What made existentialists come up with the term "existential anxiety" was their belief about the ethical and philosophical value of a choice, but what anxiety remains in the field, when it is realised that every choice becomes null after they have been made? I can't relate ethics and having emotional intelligence, for emotional intelligence is something that can be developed cognitively, but a sense of ethics require a lot of internalisation, without internalisation, it can be self referential or cognitive just like a developed emotional intelligence.

Do I have a problem with this? Definitely not, in fact, I think a cognitive understanding of ethics and emotion prevents you from falling under the spell of them and frees you from distress. As I said, having emotions are things no-one is free of, it's about the quantity of them, not quality. They exist in each individual as a quality but quantity differs on most, which gave rise to terms such as callousness or unemotionality, so, we can not assume that every person can feel the same ethical or emotional restrictions that is felt by a single individual in the same intensity they feel it. In that way it seperates itself from compassion and ethics, if we were to take this terms in their acknowledged sense.

I don't think that life or human beings always need to be rational or everything can be put on a rational ground, in fact, having that presumption seems very irrational to me, for rationality is not the only way for one to understand the world, neither emotions are, nor establishing a dichotomy between them is.

 

[Coriolis]

Dear intj,

Emotion is information.

Information is knowledge.

Knowledge is power - which you know, or you wouldnt be asking this question.

In my case, this type of information is also fascination and happiness, as its knowledge allows me to diminish suffering in tve world. It is kind of like getting the remote to an enormous fire alarm that's been blaring since i was born.

What you re asking is akin to someone who doesnt feel pain asking why you stop running just because your foot got broken.

Because it fucking hurts - and for a good reason. Pain is a warning system that helps us be kind to our body.

While emotions are a more complex system with a wider range, it is equally vital, unignorable and worthy of consideration. While your body removes the pain st first so you can flee, it doubles down on it when you re safe so you re forced to let it heal. I find the same logic applies to emotions. Yes, they sometimes get in the way short term, so by all means turn them off then, but in the long run, doing so chronically cripples you and worse.

There is a reason a person who feels no pain has to check their body all the time for damage.


Ime, this is no different.

Not all information is equally useful. A main task of problem solving is determining what information is relevant, and what is not. It is only relevant information that becomes useful knowledge and in turn leads to power, or at least a greater ability to control the outcome.

Yes, emotion is like pain in serving as an early warning system. Once we have heard and heeded the warning, though, there is no benefit in continuing to hear the siren or feel the pain. This is why alarms can be turned off, and doctors prescribe pain meds. Dwelling on or dissecting the emotion itself is about as useful as taking apart our alarm clock. Better to focus on what caused the emotion/pain and address that. Not only will this correct the underlying problem, but will reduce the chances of our having to endure similar pain again.

As a INFP my internal values will also shape my decisions but values do not necessarily equate with emotions.

Exactly. When trying to make the case for everyone having emotions, people often give examples that instead illustrate the role of values. That I understand, but like you, don't see them as inextricably linked to emotions.

Understanding people needs and desires.

This doesn't follow. How do emotions enable me to understand others' needs and desires? I find it better simply to ask them.

Using both rational and ethical intelligence to make a decision is not simply derived from "my ethics." A lack of emotional intelligence can disrupt even your work life. Employers are looking for people who know how to listen and communicate well, to be able to work with others. These are important aspects of emotional intelligence. Emotion affects all aspects of your life, it doesn't mean you shouldn't value rationality but ethics are equally as important. I think a lack of understanding towards your emotions can come out two ways, depending who you are. Either acting impulsively on your feelings, which as you said, doesn't require justification like ethics would. Or, you compulsively deny them, numb your feelings entirely.

I don't see how emotions are necessary for the highlighted. We can understand the benefits of communicating and cooperating on a rational basis.

 

[Red Memories]

I don't know if I'd say I enjoy them. Generally. they make you human, but to feel happiness you must also feel pain...

 

[Amargith]

Not all information is equally useful. A main task of problem solving is determining what information is relevant, and what is not. It is only relevant information that becomes useful knowledge and in turn leads to power, or at least a greater ability to control the outcome.

Yes, emotion is like pain in serving as an early warning system. Once we have heard and heeded the warning, though, there is no benefit in continuing to hear the siren or feel the pain. This is why alarms can be turned off, and doctors prescribe pain meds. Dwelling on or dissecting the emotion itself is about as useful as taking apart our alarm clock. Better to focus on what caused the emotion/pain and address that. Not only will this correct the underlying problem, but will reduce the chances of our having to endure.

It is also why people wrench their bodies if they're put on those painkillers at too high a dose. Too much is dehabilitating and chronically, it is damaging to the psyche. Too little and you get people using their leg instead of restibg it, crippling it in the process. Pain management is a complex subject because of it.

And emotions are a symphony compared to the simple melody that pain is. Each emotion has its own range, triggers, variety and can be mixed with others.

And its information has similar depths that often cannot be gauged by a single note before it is muted..

As for what information is useful - believe me when i say, i have just as little use for the information you find to be so useful and interesting due to its problem-solving capabilities and complexity.

And i use my preferred information for just that - problem solving.

One very important aspect of emotions is to understand other and recognise what state theyre in. If you ve never felt the full gamut of emotions, let alone its infinite combinations, how can you be there for a person who just lost their son, for example?

It is why people angrily yell 'have you ever buried a child????' Because the attempts of orhers to fully grasp tge impact are insufficient. Those who are aware of this will often start with ' i cannot fathom the loss you' lve endured, truly,...'


And many more are just unsure what to do and behave awkwardly, making the parents feel that much more isolated in their grief. It is only those that have been there , that can offer some comfort - or perhaps someone who admits their inexperience but has done the thought exercises (from fiction for example) or who has previously counselled people in this situation who at this point can form a connection to help these people.

And often, in a kidnapping situation or murder investigation, it is the only way in which you can get access to vital cues from emotionally torn up people that csn get their child back. It is like emotional surgery.

And this is one of a thousand scenarios where knowing your own emotions allows you to be an anchor to others who then get their pain lessened( ironicalky, it is like administring pain medication). That in itself is already a worthy purpose, as is helping them find the tools to manage those emotions themselves.

Beyond that, it can return people back to their productive selves where they become yhe aolution yo a problem. The other side of the coin is that knowing how to form a connection on an emotional level, can allow for the increase in empathy in someone who is emotionally shut down. It is why they have parents of kidnap victims empathize and not judge the criminal, and use the childs first name - to help him *feel* the impact of the damage he d be doing if he were to harm the child, making it infinitely harder for him.


But even in daily life, understanding what emotions are likely motivating yhe person in front of you has been my life saver. It helps me realise people arent evil ormalicious - they re hurt in some way they often dont even realise, making it impossible for them to resolve it. And sometimes, im able to show them something that will instantly fix their issue - the pain relief on their face is worth more than any gold you could give me. That is a person who will now contribute to a healthy home life, work environment, you name it.

The more i think about, the more it truly fits the pain metaphor, and beyond that, the profession of nurse, doctor, surgeon and so on.

And then there are the values/wisdom goodies that come with

 

[Abcdenfp]

It is also why people wrench their bodies if they're put on those painkillers at too high a dose. Too much is dehabilitating and chronically, it is damaging to the psyche. Too little and you get people using their leg instead of restibg it, crippling it in the process. Pain management is a complex subject because of it. And emotions are a symphony compared to the simple melody that pain is. Each emotion has its own range, triggers, variety and can be mixed with others. And its information has similar depths that often cannot be gauged by a single note before it is muted.. As for what information is useful - believe me when i say, i have just as little use for the information you find to be so useful and interesting due to its problem-solving capabilities and complexity. And i use my preferred information for just that - problem solving. One very important aspect of emotions is to understand other and recognise what state theyre in. If you ve never felt the full gamut of emotions, let alone its infinite combinations, how can you be there for a person who just lost their son, for example? It is why people angrily yell 'have you ever buried a child????'

This totally resounds with me, in such a deep way , my exact wavelength

 

[Norexan]

This doesn't follow. How do emotions enable me to understand others' needs and desires? I find it better simply to ask them.

If you want to be step ahead a person you should understand what I was trying to say.
I don't ask. I simple think that most people cannot make dissensions for themselves so asking is not the option.

 

[❀༺♥༻ℭ𝔞𝔢𝔩𝔦𝔞_𝔄𝔦𝔰𝔩𝔦𝔫𝔤༺♥༻❀༺]

[MENTION=9811]Coriolis[/MENTION]

Emotional intelligence is defined as the ability to understand and manage your own emotions, and those of the people around you. You are right the motivation to maintain a healthy business friendship/communication with colleagues is rational since it has rational benefits. But that doesnt change the fact that you need emotional intelligence to be able to perform this task. A person who has empathy has compassion and an understanding of human nature that allows them to connect with other people on an emotional level. Being able to empathize with others allows a person to provide genuine, friendly and helpful service and to respond genuinely to concerns, which is useful in the workplace. Emotions are a part of business because you work with people; you do have to have a degree of empathy, people skills, and self awareness to work with other people. In my experience people respond well to a personal approach no matter the environment. I suppose it's just a difference in perspective. You view these things as having rational benefits and I view them as welcoming emotions healthily into the workplace. Perhaps it is both