Me (girl) = INFJ, and him = INFJ.
We had an amazing thing going for a couple of months. We were both amazed by how well we understood each other and how comforting it was to finally find someone who could. Everything matched up. We even had incredible chemistry.
However, here's what went wrong, and I need help understanding.
I think he's a really mature guy for his age 21, however, he feels that he needs to grow up. He's hurt girls in his past relationships by being uncaring and generally an ass. With me, he really doesn't want to hurt me, and broke up with me because he's convinced that he'd sabotage our relationship due to his immaturity and that he needs to take time to figure himself out.
I want to be there for him and provide any comfort I can. Of course, I didn't take it so well, because I don't truly believe he has any major issues. But I trust him and if he thinks he's doing the right thing, then he probably is.
Here are my questions:
1. If I stay close to him, as a friend, will I hurt/hinder him or help him? Will it put me in any line of fire?
2. After he "fixes" himself, does it seem possible that he'd come back to me? He's convinced himself that I'm too good for him, that I'm perfect. Will he still want to be with me?
I'm afraid of negative answers to both, being an INFJ myself and knowing that once I get past someone, I never return to the prospect, and I don't want to lose him. I also don't want to hurt myself by hoping that he'll return to me.
I guess it's hard, with an INFJ trying to understand the actions of another INFJ. You'd think it'd be easy, but we're each such complicated individuals... things get very convoluted.