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View Poll Results: Generally speaking, which do you think is the more forgiving type?

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  • INFJ

    24 19.51%
  • INFP

    70 56.91%
  • Don't know.

    29 23.58%
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  1. #81
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    INFP.
    INFJ's may hold the spite inside for years and thensuddenly take the revenge in an unexpected moment. They never forgive.
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  2. #82
    Anamolic Amalgamation Forever's Avatar
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    ^ totally accurate

    We're all mass murderers waiting to exact our revenge.
    @Frosty take notes. True trollage.

  3. #83
    Member her-space-holiday's Avatar
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    I always say I can't hold a grudge to save my life - but after some self reflection, I think that it's more accurate to say that : I can't hold a grudge with people I'm interacting with regularly. There are people I haven't seen in years who used to be good friends, specifically one, where the air probably needs to be cleared between us. And I know it will, eventually, when we regain contact(we're in different states, have been friends since middle school).

    I need to clear the air, for sure. There are people who I've simply detached myself from and have no intention of reconnecting with - I don't harbor any ill will towards them and don't really think of them at all..but when I do I remember mainly negative things.

    So while I'm not a grudge holder I can be a door slammer, and perhaps that makes me extremely unforgiving.

    I also will tend to turn my anger towards someone else's actions back on myself - when I'm mad at someone I'll retreat and ignore the fuck out of them and do a lot of self reflection and thinking, until eventually I somehow end up more mad at myself..?
    I vote infps.
    “I don’t want to be human. I want to see gamma rays, I want to hear X-rays, and I want to smell dark matter. Do you see the absurdity of what I am? I can’t even express these things properly, because I have to—I have to conceptualize complex ideas in this stupid, limiting spoken language, but I know I want to reach out with something other than these prehensile paws, and feel the solar wind of a supernova flowing over me. I’m a machine, and I can know much more."

  4. #84
    fragment Lia_kat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sketched4funcz View Post
    INFP.
    INFJ's may hold the spite inside for years and thensuddenly take the revenge in an unexpected moment. They never forgive.
    I was going to say INFP because I do try to understand everyone's point of view and know that everyone makes mistakes so I forgive often BUT it also depends on the situation. I never, ever forget if someone does something shitty that hurts me deeply. And like what's mentioned above, I can hold spite inside forever and all of a sudden unleash rage/revenge unexpectedly.

    Quote Originally Posted by her-space-holiday View Post
    So while I'm not a grudge holder I can be a door slammer, and perhaps that makes me extremely unforgiving.
    I do this all the time too. I cut people out of my life ruthlessly.
    Maybe I'm a mean INFP? Lol
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  5. #85
    empress Nørrsken's Avatar
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    It highly depends on the situation. I have forgiven people who have hurt me before, such as family members and friends, but it is usually because they come to me with an olive branch and plead forgiveness for their complete and utter stupidity. And then there are those where I just know they are only apologizing for reasons being, for example, in order to retain social approval from other people when they are being under watch. Those are the ones I say I forgive, but deep down hope they get hit by a truck.

    I really do think that INFPs are the ones who forgive quicker as well as move on the fastest, whereas INFJs take their time to forgive and may even snap at you down the line when they remember what you said or did against them. I think INFJs are the ones who really make you feel like complete crap for what you did, lmao!
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  6. #86
    Unapologetic being Evolving Transparency's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Azseroffs View Post
    I think INFP is more likely to say they forgive you, but will probably hold onto that moment forever where it will come back to haunt you someday.

    INFJs are probably less forgiving, but are less likely to hold a grudge.

    imo

    I think this is an Fi vs Fe thing
    This
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  7. #87
    Iron Maiden fidelia's Avatar
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    Depends if the person is sorry and if the pattern continues. I'm pretty soft hearted and even manipulable if accounts are kept short. I struggle more if there's a reoccurring underlying issue that can't or won't be acknowledged or dealt with, especially if I've exhausted all my own resources trying to fix it. Mostly my grudginess comes when I feel hurt and I know the other person is aware of what they've done but doesn't want to deal with it. Honest misunderstandings or mistakes are different.

    Infjs are less good at resolving problems internally without additional information or assistance to deal with it, so it takes longer to process if they can't get that. However, I think they don't really enjoy feeling that way. If it does seem like they're holding a grudge it's more of a Ni risk avoidance of bad situations that would require decisively acting in the moment, which is not a strength of theirs, or it would be a trust issue over something happening repeatedly.

    I feel like infps are less touchy initially and more able to live and let live but may be harder to deal with if they are deeply upset because it's more of an internal process that is less influenced by outside sources. That's just speculation though.

  8. #88
    Senior Member Babybop's Avatar
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    It's a difficult question, but I'd probably have to go with INFJ. In my experiences, when an INFJ decides they don't like someone, that usually doesn't change. A lot of INFPs can hold grudges, but can be more easily swayed because of their Ne. It affects me too, and probably other Ne types; I can go from hating someone to loving them in about 5 minutes.
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  9. #89
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    I am INFP and because I am P i don't have closure and am "prober" and not "planner" (J). This means that I have more possibility to unconditional love since Fi goes in depth and Fe goes in breadth. So maybe Fe and INFJ is more popular and quite possibly more intelligent because of Ni, but I forgive better. Many times I think he is a Jerk, when he bothers me. But quite soon, I think it is not fitting, it is not a forgiving attitude. I must always forgive. As a matter of fact, I'd sacrifice myself in order to forgive if it had to go so far. I'd be overbearing, along time upon injustice (since I have this GREAT internal fire) but when it goes to far and I am pused into a corner I get angry, and only then I get angry. And even If I get angry, I apologize for being angry and usually I am right since I am the one being pushed into a corner, so I don't ...I just say sorry for being angry.

  10. #90
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    How much one holds grudges ought to depend on what the person in question did to you, it is almost impossible to compare oneself to another when one takes into account the very many different experiences with others people do have. That said, I do believe that in general, INFPs and INFJs are very forgiving people. Almost equally so, with the INFP being a little bit more forgiving due to the phobic E6 and E9-bias.
    4w5-9w1-5w4

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