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View Poll Results: Generally speaking, which do you think is the more forgiving type?

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  • INFJ

    24 19.51%
  • INFP

    70 56.91%
  • Don't know.

    29 23.58%
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  1. #71
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    It depends. As an infj myself its very easy for me to tell when someone made an honest mistake and won't do it again. If it was big it may peeve me off for a while at the person's nerve, but as long as they can make up for it I'd say I was pretty square with them. However if someone shows a repeated line of offenses and bad behaivor towards me I don't have tolerance for that at all lol. Especially when they apologize and do nothing to change. Its a really dirty underhanded tactic and I don't like involving myself with people like that.
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  2. #72
    Member Neshama's Avatar
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    I think INFPs are quicker to forgive those within their inner circle and INFJs are quicker to forgive people outside of their inner circle. INFJs would take the offense coming from a friend more personally, but forgive the ignorance of a stranger. Enneagram differences will come into play, but I think this is generally true.
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  3. #73
    Musician Forever's Avatar
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    Actually I'm thinking the majority is pretty right, I can be pretty unforgiving with certain people.

  4. #74
    Member Neshama's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Forever View Post
    Actually I'm thinking the majority is pretty right, I can be pretty unforgiving with certain people.
    I'm leaning toward INFP too, if they are a healthy INFP.
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  5. #75
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lightyear View Post
    So true. I just simply won't show the offender certain parts of myself. It's not necessarily that I am mad at him, it can be a very rational decision (Ti?), this person hurt me so I would be stupid to go to this vulnerable place with him again. Simple as that.

    But I tend to be very forgiving in that I always try to find excuses and rationalisations why someone did something bad, thinking how I would have behaved if I would be in his shoes. However once you have exhausted me giving you the benefit of the doubt again and again I will either distance myself from you or cut you completely out of my life.
    This sounds so exactly like me. I am forgiving and I never blame the other person, but I had someone who was very close to me who did something that really badly damaged my trust in them and it has unchangeably altered our relationship to the point where I don't tell them hardly anything personal. I'm not holding back because I'm mad, but because my trust in them is no longer there and I just can't.

  6. #76
    Senior Member tkae.'s Avatar
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    INFJ consider more offenses to be objectively wrong, whereas most INFP consider offenses to be more subjectively wrong. The implication of that is that INFJs are more likely to consider what you did to be wrong, where INFP are probably more likely to "forgive" you since what did isn't "wrong".
    "Not knowing how near the truth is, we seek it far away." -Ekaku Hakuin
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  7. #77
    Junior Member Heaven's Child's Avatar
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    I would say that both types are very forgiving in their own way.(if they are healthy, of course)
    In my experience, INFJs are really compassionate and if you do something to hurt them, they will put their own feelings aside and try to come clear with you (sometimes, this can also reach an unhealthy level)
    INFPs tend to value peace and having a good relationship with other people is part of that. Even if someone was mean to me once, I'm ready to forgive them if they are really willing to come clear with me.
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  8. #78
    Junior Member Outrageousoreo's Avatar
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    Depends... I think both INFPs and INFJs can have a pretty hard time forgiving people if they've been betrayed. Even if I don't bring up something that has hurt me, I think the trust I have for another person is greatly reduced.. I will no longer share as much as I used too.

    I spend a huge time thinking about whether a person is worthy of complete trust and then open up to them. If this trust is betrayed, I don't think it'll ever be the same. The relationship might just slowly fade. For minor offences and for strangers or acquaintances, I usually rant and then don't really give a shit about it after that because those people don't mean anything to me. XD

  9. #79
    Step into my office. Luv Deluxe's Avatar
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    I don't hold onto the past, I'm not nostalgic at all, and I think change is inevitable and welcome and perfect. However, I do have involuntary, gut-reaction, unpleasant feelings when a negative figure from my past crops up again. I may not even remember what exactly it was about this person that upset me so much, but the general impression returns and I want to run from it.

    I've actually gotten myself burned pretty badly when I've acted against that sensation, putting my own feelings aside. I've tried to stay friends with people I knew that I shouldn't have, and the only thing it did was prolong a painful experience for both parties.

    I don't want to hurt anyone or make anybody sad, and I am the last person to engage in acts of vengeance. I don't stalk people on Facebook, either. I just let them go.

    But when I let them go, I kind of want them to stay gone.

    I tend to move on quickly, and I'm usually pretty happy after doing so. My life gets better, I find more compatible friends, chase higher goals, etc., and I think the other person's life gets better, too. It sounds cheesy, but I think things happen exactly as they were meant to. Sometimes, if prompted to think about it, I actually remember a lot of the people I've removed from my life with love. I just don't have an interest in rekindling what we were - not even muted versions thereof.

    One of those old friends has tried reaching out to me a few times in the last year, and it's sad, but I just can't bring myself to respond to her. Not out of a grudge, just...I know it's not for the best.

    So, long story short, I don't hold grudges...but I think it appears to others that I do. It's really hard for me to keep a source of pain in my life. Maybe that's weak, I don't know. But I guarantee you there are probably a few people out there who would say, "Oh, her? Yeah, she HATES me," when in reality, I haven't thought of them in quite a while.
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  10. #80
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    As an INFP, I can tell you that I will forgive, but I never forget.
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