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View Poll Results: Generally speaking, which do you think is the more forgiving type?

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  • INFJ

    24 19.51%
  • INFP

    70 56.91%
  • Don't know.

    29 23.58%
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  1. #61
    Senior Member ceecee's Avatar
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    In my experience, the INFP's say they are sorry almost immediately. Not entirely sure they have thought it through, which leads me to believe they don't hold grudges exactly but once they have sifted through everything, they may. INFJ, on the other hand (ENFJ's too) can absolutely hold a grudge but will tell you it's all good to your face. This is a huge problem but they can learn a better way and once they see that, they're happy to be more upfront about how they feel. Not so sure about INFP's.

    These are my experiences with the types but I also think it depends on the person and probably the situation that required forgiveness.
    I like to rock n' roll all night and *part* of every day. I usually have errands... I can only rock from like 1-3.

  2. #62
    Administrator highlander's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by riva View Post
    Sometimes i wonder whether you are a e6.
    Why?

    Please provide feedback on my Nohari and Johari Window by clicking here: Nohari/Johari

    Tri-type 639

  3. #63
    yap yap yap xenaprincess's Avatar
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    I work with an INFJ.
    He's much more annoyed and pissed off at many more people than I am. But then, he has an easier time forgiving people than I do.

    In my experience, Fe expresses the emotion and is dissipates quickly. Fi internalizes the emotion and it stays there for a while.
    Likes GreatBigCranberries liked this post

  4. #64
    Senior Member the state i am in's Avatar
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    whichever ones needs have been better met.

    (i can't think of anything else meaningful to say that holds up other than this. even e4 and e9 forgive differently in different situations. e4s are less likely to ideologically "evil" you. e9s are less likely to feel compelled to judge you in the first place. either type can react when their desire to care and their sensitivity and/or self-esteem are fucked with, which can lead to especially strong reactivity when they struggle to take care of themselves and assert the boundaries they need. their internal conflict with their own willingness and acceptance and commitment to asserting their own needs within themselves while still being skilled enough at doing so to hear the other is where the challenge to learn to forgive lies)
    Likes Z Buck McFate liked this post

  5. #65
    an abyss of Nothingness Arctic Hysteria's Avatar
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    I cannot speak for INFPs of all enneagram types, but there's no such thing as apologising immediately, or not holding grudges, or putting on a sweet face for us type 4. You see it on our faces.
    .
    | | | If it is god who makes man, this is the devil finishing touches | | |
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    Likes ImaFour, Lia_kat liked this post

  6. #66
    Senior Member Opal's Avatar
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    Forgiving of...?

  7. #67
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    Infj. Infp holds anger on their heart but try very hard to suppress it.

  8. #68
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    "....to forgive, divine." we can never truly "let go". The question seems to be how we deal with these offences (which of course is what everyone is really saying here) .

    i tend to bury them and look at the present/future potential.....(but as i found out this year, they are STILL there.)

  9. #69

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    I hope someone can hear me out on this, or present to me a strong case jungian function wise in at least why INFP would be the better overall candidate.

    After reading some of the posts, maybe it's some self-bias but reading about people who say that INFJ's aren't that forgiving is kind of odd. If anything, would any of you consider those "INFJ's" who didn't forgive you may very well be ISFJ? I think Si is the thing to look out for is because it helps the user remember how "exactly to a degree/some point" of how the event happened coupled with Fi and you got the internal feeling state on lock-down.

    I would therefore say ISFJ's/INFP's are more prone to holding back forgiveness because of the sentimental memory. In an INFJ's cognitive functions Ni is pattern seeking and may seek some people with certain behaviors to avoid, but it is more out of pattern conformity than it is holding a grudge/hate for others. Because Si is known as our weakest or "devil" function, we don't tend to want to focus on every sensation or feeling state we experienced, especially if it's bad.

    Now this is generally speaking and there are exceptions. Theoretically speaking, I am strongly sticking to my own type is leaning towards forgiveness.

    And if we want to go over the other side of theoreticizing: Those who hold Fi-Te (to some thread I read) tend to think every individual is different and unique and shouldn't focus on they themselves being someone they should or want not to be. While Fe-Ti idealizes a certain kind of self that everyone should/ought to be believing in change. The latter would seem intuitively clear to me that Fe/Ti leans more towards forgiveness (in an INFJ's case, focused on the future makes it more to see other's in their potentials instead of their actualities).

    INFJ Door Slam is also been overused to death in FB groups, gives us the bad image as well. In my interpretation of this silly name, you really have to persistently annoy us to death.


    Hehe, I matched my signature to the opposite of what I said. ^_^

  10. #70
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    This thread is odd and typical NF boring stupidity. I get the sense that it's a competition on who is more forgiving. If that is the case, then I'd ask why? Is this perhaps a western thing or related to something else?

    Quote Originally Posted by Forever View Post
    After reading some of the posts, maybe it's some self-bias but reading about people who say that INFJ's aren't that forgiving is kind of odd. If anything, would any of you consider those "INFJ's" who didn't forgive you may very well be ISFJ? I think Si is the thing to look out for is because it helps the user remember how "exactly to a degree/some point" of how the event happened coupled with Fi and you got the internal feeling state on lock-down.
    If it is indeed an ISFJ "thing" then I'd say it would be quite ironic. The stereotypical image of an ISFJ is enneagram 2, which is dubbed the helper. The drive for type 2 is pride, manifesting as knowing the needs of others better than others know themselves, and subsequently, casting away one's own needs. Now heart types are all associated with grief, but it's how they relate to it is what characterizes the differences. When we talk about grudges, and for the sake of precision, we mean someone who's resentful from past hurts, naturally you'd fall into a discussion involving grief and hatred. You may be right in saying that INFPs are more prone to grudges. Maybe. But that's not surprising as INFPs are commonly associated with enneagram 4s, a type with strong ties toward hatred. Type 4 internalizes grief, and tend to focus on loss (hence the "longing" stereotype). And this focus on loss OR we can call "lack," can lead to resentment. So to say INFJs are less likely to keep grudges doesn't make sense to me, because so many INFJs are 4s, unless you believe the meme of INFPs mistyping as INFJs. Hell, I can think of two INFJs I know who hold grudges and aren't even 4s. One is INFJ 3w4 and another is INFJ 6w5.

    In short, I don't think it's an MBTI thing. If you want to tag this onto type, then it's probably enneagram combined with individual quirks. Personally, I see an investment in being forgiving or "above it all" as more enneagram 2 than anything else.

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