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  1. #1
    Seriously Delirious Udog's Avatar
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    Default How to end a friendship with an INFJ

    Okay, INFJs, I need your opinions.

    The question is, what's the best way to end an unwanted friendship with an INFJ? Do I tell her flat out that I can no longer be her friend? Do I quit answering/returning her calls until she gets the idea? (I occasionally see her family, so she probably knows I'm physically well.) Or is there an option C? I don't want to hurt her more than necessary, but I can't pretend to be anything more than fleetingly polite to her.

    Quickly, yes, things got complicated, but no, it didn't go anywhere. She dropped out of my life suddenly and unexpectedly, only calling to ask for favors. 3 months later, she reveals she has a boyfriend. That's not so bad (did hurt though), but she did several little things to make the blow worse, such as call out of the blue on Christmas day to tell me, etc).

    It was bad enough that I had to reevaluate the friendship and try and rebuild it, and I didn't like what I was seeing.

    Now, I'm just... empty... when I hang out with her. The conversation is inevitably her being upset about her BF or family, but instead of feeling my natural empathy I just feel empty and pitiless. (This guy had been around for a while, and was clearly nothing but trouble.) It's a feeling I do not like.

    Still, I don't want to make it worse than it needs to be. So do I tell her directly, ignore her until she gives up, or do something else?

    EDIT: If mod catches this, please move this to NF Idyllic. I didn't mean to post this here.

  2. #2
    Earth Exalted Thursday's Avatar
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    Flat out tell her / end thread with cookies and break-dancing ISTPs!
    I N V I C T U S

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by Thursday View Post
    Flat out tell her / end thread with cookies and break-dancing ISTPs!
    That or just stop hanging out with her. I've had people break off friendships with me by just stoping to include me and so on, but none have yet told it to me straight. Except that one girl who asked me not to hang out with another friend also (and we get along really well).

  4. #4
    Diabolical Kasper's Avatar
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    Moved from The NF Private Forum.


    If you just want to distance yourself, limit the time you interact with her, if you want nothing to do with her tell her straight out.

  5. #5
    desert pelican Owl's Avatar
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    If the friendship is truly over, then it will atrophy on its own.

    Tell her the truth, and see where it goes.


  6. #6
    Minister of Propagandhi ajblaise's Avatar
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    The same way everyone goes about ending a friendship: You stop talking to them in small non-awkward increments over the period of a few weeks.

  7. #7
    Senior Member ceecee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Udog View Post
    Okay, INFJs, I need your opinions.

    The question is, what's the best way to end an unwanted friendship with an INFJ? Do I tell her flat out that I can no longer be her friend? Do I quit answering/returning her calls until she gets the idea? (I occasionally see her family, so she probably knows I'm physically well.) Or is there an option C? I don't want to hurt her more than necessary, but I can't pretend to be anything more than fleetingly polite to her.

    Quickly, yes, things got complicated, but no, it didn't go anywhere. She dropped out of my life suddenly and unexpectedly, only calling to ask for favors. 3 months later, she reveals she has a boyfriend. That's not so bad (did hurt though), but she did several little things to make the blow worse, such as call out of the blue on Christmas day to tell me, etc).

    It was bad enough that I had to reevaluate the friendship and try and rebuild it, and I didn't like what I was seeing.

    Now, I'm just... empty... when I hang out with her. The conversation is inevitably her being upset about her BF or family, but instead of feeling my natural empathy I just feel empty and pitiless. (This guy had been around for a while, and was clearly nothing but trouble.) It's a feeling I do not like.

    Still, I don't want to make it worse than it needs to be. So do I tell her directly, ignore her until she gives up, or do something else?

    EDIT: If mod catches this, please move this to NF Idyllic. I didn't mean to post this here.
    You already know the answer to this. So do it. End it and be honest. Don't wait. Don't reassess. Don't feel guilty and for god sake...don't answer the phone.
    I like to rock n' roll all night and *part* of every day. I usually have errands... I can only rock from like 1-3.

  8. #8
    Senior Member The Outsider's Avatar
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    Don't turn your back, don't look away, and don't blink!

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by ajblaise View Post
    The same way everyone goes about ending a friendship: You stop talking to them in small non-awkward increments over the period of a few weeks.
    + 1

  10. #10
    Nips away your dignity Fluffywolf's Avatar
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    Blame it on yourself.

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