Okay, timeline reveal:
I've known her for 15 years, or half my life. This whole thing with her BF happened Christmas 2007. The last time I called her was Oct 2008, to wish her a Bday. She didn't answer and didn't call me back until 2 weeks later. I never returned her call and was happy to have ended it there.
She has called twice since March, despite me not returning her call. This is what has prompted the thread. I suspect she needs a favor, and worry I may lose my cool if I find out that's the only reason she is crawling out of the woodwork to reach me.
It's the length and depth of the friendship that is making this an issue for me. If it had been anyone else in my life, I'd already be over it.
This is why I made the thread, because I want to know what consequences my different courses of actions will have.
Your advice is very good, though, so thanks.