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  1. #1
    Senior Member Desperado44's Avatar
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    Default Fellow ENFJ's: Do You Ever Feel Like People Just Use You?

    I'm curious if anyone else ever feels that way....

    You're there for every friend....whenever they need you. You come through in the clutch when no one else will. You work late, you try to always do the right thing.....

    Nonetheless, you never seem to have too many great things come your way.

    Do you ever feel like you're just being used? Like you're running on empty?
    I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. --- Maya Angelou

  2. #2
    Senior Member Cronkle's Avatar
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    Yes.

    Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

    I'm still looking for someone who knows the meaning of reliability, someone who will call me back. I would come over to some of these people's houses in the middle of the night, for almost anything, and some of them won't even call me back!

    Oh well. My job as journalist lets me meet new people everyday, so I'm always on the lookout for someone I can trust and confide in.

    It seems to be a lot of what Shakespeare said, "Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none."

  3. #3
    it's a nuclear device antireconciler's Avatar
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    may way too many great things come your way~
    ~ a n t i r e c o n c i l e r
    What is death, dies.
    What is life, lives.

  4. #4
    Senior Member Desperado44's Avatar
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    Thanks for both of those responses

    Damn....I'm just worn out. And it seems to point to always being the 'go to' person....

    I really wonder if my fellow ENFJ's get worn out.....
    I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. --- Maya Angelou

  5. #5
    Senior Member Lookin4theBestNU's Avatar
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    Running on empty happens to me when I over extend myself with what seems like an endless string of priorities. A sense of balance is something which is difficult to obtain for me let alone maintain for any length of time. People can really drain you for your time and attention if you let them. I've been known to let them. I'm not sure how other ENFJs are but for myself guilt can be a driving force. I don't want to let anyone down that I care about for sure. If I let that little voice in my head take over I'm essentially screwed! I do my very best to detach and listen to the warning signs that I'm about to get in over my head. If I stand back and look most of the things I was telling myself to do were not always that important in the grand scheme of things.

  6. #6
    Senior Member Desperado44's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lookin4theBestNU View Post
    Running on empty happens to me when I over extend myself with what seems like an endless string of priorities. A sense of balance is something which is difficult to obtain for me let alone maintain for any length of time. People can really drain you for your time and attention if you let them. I've been known to let them. I'm not sure how other ENFJs are but for myself guilt can be a driving force. I don't want to let anyone down that I care about for sure. If I let that little voice in my head take over I'm essentially screwed! I do my very best to detach and listen to the warning signs that I'm about to get in over my head. If I stand back and look most of the things I was telling myself to do were not always that important in the grand scheme of things.

    Wow...that all sounds so familiar. I can't seem to learn to detach....I just get worn to the bone....and then I get resentful (?).....and then I alienate and hide....

    Ugh....I must be having a bad day.....
    I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. --- Maya Angelou

  7. #7
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    As an INFP, I often feel that way too. Of course, I guess INFPs are known for being "flaky"; however, for those that we care about we are willing to do almost anything. It's just that there are not that many people we choose to let into our inner circle whereas it seems that ENFJs are willing to go to great lengths (or at least some length) to be there for people they may not actually be that close to.

    I have a really good friend who is an ENFJ and the thing we seem to have in common (well, one thing) is the amount to which we care (about other people). As an INFP sometimes I think I care more about others than they do about me. In that sense I feel that the ENFJ and I are well-matched as friends. We both go the extra mile for each other. It's nice

  8. #8
    Senior Member Desperado44's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cronkle View Post
    I'm still looking for someone who knows the meaning of reliability, someone who will call me back. I would come over to some of these people's houses in the middle of the night, for almost anything, and some of them won't even call me back!
    This seems to be a snapshot of my life. Do you find yourself wondering why that is?? I can't figure it out.....but I feel like I'm getting angry about it....
    I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. --- Maya Angelou

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by Desperado44 View Post
    Wow...that all sounds so familiar. I can't seem to learn to detach....I just get worn to the bone....and then I get resentful (?).....and then I alienate and hide....

    Ugh....I must be having a bad day.....
    ahh....so that's why my ENFJ friend sometimes seems detached and a bit frazzled, and sort of seems to isolate himself.

    Sorry to hear that, ENFJs....I often wonder why you feel the need to give to everyone equally...as an INFP I decide who I like and tend to distance myself from everyone else. But, I am introvert- that's easier for me to do I guess.

  10. #10
    Senior Member Desperado44's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bearette View Post
    ahh....so that's why my ENFJ friend sometimes seems detached and a bit frazzled, and sort of seems to isolate himself.

    Sorry to hear that, ENFJs....I often wonder why you feel the need to give to everyone equally...as an INFP I decide who I like and tend to distance myself from everyone else. But, I am introvert- that's easier for me to do I guess.
    Yeah. I am totally admitting to it. Ever since my divorce and subsequent betrayals by many friends....I feel like I have a shorter fuse for all this crap. I just don't trust anyone anymore....and I get dozens of calls a week from friends who just 'need me'......and I wonder...."what the heck? Why doesn't anyone feel that way about me?"

    Ugh.....I'm ready to do without my 'F'
    I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. --- Maya Angelou

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