User Tag List

First 678

Results 71 to 77 of 77

  1. #71
    Senior Member the state i am in's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    MBTI
    infj
    Enneagram
    5w4 sx/sp
    Posts
    2,460

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by PinkPiranha View Post
    You've given me something to think about. I'm afraid I feel cut off from my herd, considering what has happened to me. I fear it cuts me off permanently.
    i don't know the extent of it but you seem like you've developed far more interesting, shockingly good Ni as a result.

    also, everyone's ideals are unique, but i think well-developed intuition enhances this greatly. it makes everything about the big picture (ie Ni). you want to fix the entire world. and you have the experiences in your crawl that help shape and define what that imagined Ni world looks like.

    nothing wrong with being unique. a lot of people on this board seem to resonate with what you say, me included.


    as to the op-
    i don't really feel like this bc i've always been really dependent and wary of social commitments. however, the more extraverted and social i become, the more i feel myself slipping down this tunnel. i think a related corollary to this is that N people generally seem to appreciate what i can do far more than S. and, as a result, give me back more in immediately usable currency.

    i also think part of the problem is that there are just a lot of people like this, floundering, struggling to get by, scrapping for every last bit they can get off of anyone else. being an Fe just makes it so that you are more likely to notice where they are coming from and wanting to lend a hand hoping you can make a difference, turn the tide, etc. but you're also more aware of their under-appreciation than other times, when they are not showing any authentic gratitude as a result or capable of returning what you do for them.

    Fe with Ni needs to get away and develop its own reservoir, support structure, technique to stay afloat, etc. it is far less grounded and practical and sure of itself than sfj Fe types. it can only rely on external support so much, the information it needs to work with to help manage Fe moods and frustrated ideals needs to be in play in the introverted intuitive environment. NT friends are probably helpful with this as well, as are other NFs (always).

  2. #72
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    MBTI
    eNFJ
    Enneagram
    4w3 sx/so
    Socionics
    eNFJ Ni
    Posts
    11,443

    Default

    TY, Desperado, I was wondering if I was the only one who wanted the option to pull the Fe cord out of the wall.


    Quote Originally Posted by the state i am in View Post
    i don't know the extent of it but you seem like you've developed far more interesting, shockingly good Ni as a result.

    also, everyone's ideals are unique, but i think well-developed intuition enhances this greatly. it makes everything about the big picture (ie Ni). you want to fix the entire world. and you have the experiences in your crawl that help shape and define what that imagined Ni world looks like.

    nothing wrong with being unique. a lot of people on this board seem to resonate with what you say, me included.
    You know how Ne-users talk about "looping"? Do you experience Ni looping? I suppose it's not a loop, more like crazed rabbits shooting through the bunny warren. I find my Ni can get very overheated and starts making "conspiracy" connections i.e. links things together that shouldn't be.

    I use Ne or Ti/Te users to ground myself, or I'm just lightning flashing from cloud to cloud with no way down.
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
    Neutral Good
    EII-Fi subtype, Ethical/Empath, Delta/Beta
    RLUEI, Choleric/Melancholic
    Inquistive/Limbic
    AIS Holland code
    Researcher: VDI-P
    Dramatic>Sensitive>Serious

  3. #73
    Senior Member the state i am in's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    MBTI
    infj
    Enneagram
    5w4 sx/sp
    Posts
    2,460

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by PinkPiranha View Post
    You know how Ne-users talk about "looping"? Do you experience Ni looping? I suppose it's not a loop, more like crazed rabbits shooting through the bunny warren. I find my Ni can get very overheated and starts making "conspiracy" connections i.e. links things together that shouldn't be.

    I use Ne or Ti/Te users to ground myself, or I'm just lightning flashing from cloud to cloud with no way down.
    i don't have any sense of what looping means. but i think that has a lot to do with the relationship of F to Ni. and i totally like your lightning analogy.

    i think our moods become all encompassing and our whole sense of the possible changes. the colour of our internal environment changes to reflect this mood. it's like walking around on a sunny day in april listening to joy division thru your headphones. how can you smile at the ice cream truck?

    mood is good and bad. it potentializes connections related to a very specific emotional-colour filter (a type of emotional creativity). but it's bad in that it's hard to get out of its net/network when too much false red herring conspiratorial connection is being potentialized in service of negativity.

    Ti/Te (and pot) helps distance from such things, let's look at the facts and the actual connections between things. Ne just shows the way out of the trap, bc there's always a way (even if it's invisible and imaginary). Fe would feel you too much and amplify/resonate too strongly with what you feel. it is good for nothing unless it can articulate and adjust, release and set free. Fi takes on the burden itself, which you do not want to unload on anyone else.

  4. #74
    Senior Member Desperado44's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    MBTI
    ENFJ
    Posts
    471

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by PinkPiranha View Post
    TY, Desperado, I was wondering if I was the only one who wanted the option to pull the Fe cord out of the wall.




    You know how Ne-users talk about "looping"? Do you experience Ni looping? I suppose it's not a loop, more like crazed rabbits shooting through the bunny warren. I find my Ni can get very overheated and starts making "conspiracy" connections i.e. links things together that shouldn't be.

    I use Ne or Ti/Te users to ground myself, or I'm just lightning flashing from cloud to cloud with no way down.
    WOW....fascinating description of something I DO experience! I've literally thought myself paranoid at times....but my N is so strong....I believe everything my gut tells me.....and its very difficult to know when it betrays me.....but to be honest, it rarely does.....which just heightens the sense of being 'wronged'
    I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. --- Maya Angelou

  5. #75
    Senior Member The Third Rider's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    MBTI
    ENFj
    Posts
    767

    Default

    You can't really stop caring all of the sudden, there has to be reasons behind you deciding to do it. I have had enough experiences to not care about certain individuals but that doesn't mean that I completely stopped caring for everyone, which would be a crime in itself. What is needed in life is balance, too much good and too much bad are not good, everything is better in measured doses.
    ENFJ 3W4

    If you read this I am sorry to say that you just lost 5 seconds of your life that you wont be getting back.*

    *Actual time may vary.

  6. #76
    Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    MBTI
    ENFJ
    Enneagram
    ENFJ
    Posts
    50

    Default

    I would definitely pissed off before when i felt like that
    but now , I am changing , I mean, even if that i know some one is using me, i will be glad to do "his or her a favor only if he or she wouldn't acted too over, at the same time, i will also seek the chance to make use of them .

    I don't know if i have expressed my idea clearly.
    to.lift.the.telephone

  7. #77
    Emerging Tallulah's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    MBTI
    INTP
    Posts
    6,028

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Desperado44 View Post
    I'm curious if anyone else ever feels that way....

    You're there for every friend....whenever they need you. You come through in the clutch when no one else will. You work late, you try to always do the right thing.....

    Nonetheless, you never seem to have too many great things come your way.

    Do you ever feel like you're just being used? Like you're running on empty?
    My ENFJ friend does feel this way, and it seems to me that she's surrounded by extremely selfish people. She goes out of her way to help others, and find people to hang out with that won't flake out on her, and she still is surrounded by immaturity. I'm not sure what she's putting out there that attracts them. She's been working on boundaries, though, and it seems to be improving a bit. It seems strange to me that she has to continually set boundaries--I don't feel like I have to work very hard at that. But then, I'm not as much of an open book as she is.

    I seem to currently be her only outlet for complaining/unloading/etc., and she'll call a few times a week and just kind of braindump for an hour or more. I don't mind being that person, but what does frustrate me is when she herself is allowing people to insult her or take advantage of her, continuing a cycle of perpetual "my life sucks" feelings. So, as her friend, I'll try to help her see that this stuff is not healthy, and that she needs to get out of those situations, even help her figure out how she could do it, and she'll agree, and then a week later, she's complaining about the same situations, version 2.0. It's frustrating to feel like I care more about her wellbeing than she does sometimes.

    Quote Originally Posted by bearette View Post
    also remember that an an ENFJ you are an expert at sensing when others are upset and need help. Even if you ask others for help they may not be able to sense how upset you are or how much you need them at the time.

    as an example i have an INTP friend who is very nice, but I don't think she would be able to sense what I needed when I was upset, unless I spelled it out for her clearly, at which point she would probably be willing to help me in whatever way she could (probably helping me to analyze a situation and see things objectively more so than co-miserating with me).

    I know ENFJs are probably reluctant to ask for help, right? so others literally may not be aware you need it.
    Yeah, sometimes you have to ask for help. And make sure that when you do, you're not being martyr-y about it. (I'm not assuming that you are, I just know that people don't like it when they feel like someone's demanding payback for the kindnesses they've extended toward them.) All you have to do is call a friend up and ask if you can talk to them about something you're having trouble with. If they're a friend, they'll be happy to. If they're a user, they'll come up with some lame excuse. Make a note of who is really in your corner and who isn't. You aren't responsible for fixing every needy person in the world. Focus on the ones who will be a friend to you, too.

    Quote Originally Posted by proteanmix View Post
    I think this is probably where I'm at right now. I've definitely noticed this since I started working. Maybe in college I'd take every wounded bird that crossed my path but now, .

    My preference for now is to do short term, low obligation "taking care" of people. You need a ride once, OK. You need money under $20 once, OK. Other little things I have no problem with but when it becomes a pattern I have to put my foot down. Some people are not yet ready to reciprocate but may be in the future. This is something you'll have decide if you want to continue to engage with them. I'm not saying write all people who need heavy emotional investments off.

    Also, I'm wondering how much discerning of character ENFJs are applying towards people. I'm beginning to notice some people are sympathetic without wisdom, just handing out sympathy wily nily to anyone who has a sob story. At the higher levels of being emotionally supportive to people you've got to stop and examine whoyou are giving your emotional energy to. This is beginning to play a larger role in my life, figuring who is this person before I open my arms and heart. I think that right now I'm being more cautious and vigilant for emotional leeches and parasites and it's working well for me.
    Yep. Everyone is not equally worthy of sympathy and energy. Be discerning. Practice. Don't look for fixer-uppers, whether in friends or in prospective partners. Some guys tend to gravitate towards needy women because it makes them feel important/special. But you know? Even independent and healthy women will think you're important and special, and will need you, if it's the right relationship. Trust that you have something to offer someone who isn't a bloodsucker.
    Something Witty

Similar Threads

  1. [ENFP] ENFPs: Do you ever feel like this under pressure or stress?
    By SingSmileShine in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: 07-05-2013, 04:56 PM
  2. [ISFP] ISFPs do you ever feel like you are being treated like a doormat?
    By liYA in forum The SP Arthouse (ESFP, ISFP, ESTP, ISTP)
    Replies: 22
    Last Post: 03-02-2011, 05:57 PM
  3. [MBTItm] Ever feel like you always have somthing to do?
    By Cloudblue in forum The SJ Guardhouse (ESFJ, ISFJ, ESTJ, ISTJ)
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 05-11-2010, 10:54 PM
  4. [ENFJ] My fellow ENFJ's: Do You Ever Feel USED?
    By Desperado44 in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 10
    Last Post: 05-11-2010, 04:37 PM
  5. [MBTItm] do you ever feel like you're "lagging" behind?
    By file cabinet in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 28
    Last Post: 05-14-2009, 05:36 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO