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  1. #61
    Senior Member Desperado44's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Third Rider View Post
    To answer this thread. I will like to say that I have been used quite a few times, that is why i stopped giving a fuck about a lot of people.
    I hate to say it......I'm literally trying to work on being the same way...I'm tired of it ....:steam:
    I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. --- Maya Angelou

  2. #62
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    You guys do realize that "learning" not to give a damn is impossible, don't you?
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
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  3. #63
    Senior Member Lookin4theBestNU's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PP
    You guys do realize that "learning" not to give a damn is impossible, don't you?
    I'm not quite sure where you get that from. Do you think you could explain this statement?

  4. #64
    Senior Member SpottingTrains's Avatar
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    Life is too boring when you don't give a damn. Sure smooth sailing is enjoyable and all but soon enough you will realize you miss everything you felt when you were on the waves

  5. #65
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lookin4theBestNU View Post
    I'm not quite sure where you get that from.
    Experience, mostly? *frowns* I try to not care, and it doesn't seem to work. Perhaps I'm not employing a successful method? I feel my internal programming fighting the strategy the whole way.
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
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  6. #66
    Senior Member the state i am in's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PinkPiranha View Post
    Experience, mostly? *frowns* I try to not care, and it doesn't seem to work. Perhaps I'm not employing a successful method? I feel my internal programming fighting the strategy the whole way.
    do you think it has a lot to do with your upbringing as well? just bc others use Fe, that doesn't mean that they are as deeply idealistic as you in ways that are probably more present and profoundly connected to some of the darker and shadier misdeeds and sometimes atrocities happening all over our country.

    like, if i go on the motorcyle diaries trip, it destroys my current life, usurps it, creates a new one. if you have extremely intense Fe experiences as an nfj, your ideals change, your Ni reconfigures, gives more weight to one specific perspective, your Ti tries to understand it and takes apart everything related to it that it can, etc.

    i think your frustration and emotional volatility is partly from Fe dom, but also from your unceasing desire to want to change, fix, heal, and especially protect others from a world that is, at times, beating the shit out of them. it's very admirable, but you're always closer in an immediate environmental way to a darker reality than other enfjs who work as a college professor. with your life experiences it's gotten into your dna. it sounds tough, but it's made you so too. crusading is not easy, but somebody's gotta do it. it's a very admirable thing.

  7. #67
    Senior Member Lookin4theBestNU's Avatar
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    Thanks for clarification that the statement was experience based Pink. I wasn't getting that from the post.
    ----------------------------------------------------------------------------


    Quote Originally Posted by Desperado
    I'm literally trying to work on being the same way...I'm tired of it ....
    I really think this comes down to the very heart of the issue. Sometimes it takes pain to really make a change in your life. I'm one of those people who never seem to learn anything easy! Perhaps "not giving a damn" isn't the way to look at it. Maybe looking at it as controlling your Fe/practicing it more exclusively is a bit better. I'd say its kind of like picking your battles as well as those you call a friend wisely. I used to have a real problem with wanting to help/befriend too many people. How few people in my life thus far have really proven to be "true friends" is kind of scary and a bit heartbreaking. I've always craved 'real connections' with people and have always been willing to do my part. Most relationships tend to be pretty superficial and that can be a tough pill to swallow. It may sound a little cold but I listen to that little nagging voice that sometimes says "this just isn't worth it" about people/situations. I cannot help everyone and sometimes they don't want it anyway. Quite often people just like to wallow around in whatever mess they are in! I really like a drama-free life so I tend to take a step back and look before I leap if that makes sense.

  8. #68
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by the state i am in View Post
    do you think it has a lot to do with your upbringing as well? just bc others use Fe, that doesn't mean that they are as deeply idealistic as you in ways that are probably more present and profoundly connected to some of the darker and shadier misdeeds and sometimes atrocities happening all over our country.

    like, if i go on the motorcyle diaries trip, it destroys my current life, usurps it, creates a new one. if you have extremely intense Fe experiences as an nfj, your ideals change, your Ni reconfigures, gives more weight to one specific perspective, your Ti tries to understand it and takes apart everything related to it that it can, etc.

    i think your frustration and emotional volatility is partly from Fe dom, but also from your unceasing desire to want to change, fix, heal, and especially protect others from a world that is, at times, beating the shit out of them. it's very admirable, but you're always closer in an immediate environmental way to a darker reality than other enfjs who work as a college professor. with your life experiences it's gotten into your dna. it sounds tough, but it's made you so too. crusading is not easy, but somebody's gotta do it. it's a very admirable thing.
    You've given me something to think about. I'm afraid I feel cut off from my herd, considering what has happened to me. I fear it cuts me off permanently.

    Quote Originally Posted by Lookin4theBestNU View Post
    Thanks for clarification that the statement was experience based Pink. I wasn't getting that from the post.
    Sorry! *sheepish*
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
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    AIS Holland code
    Researcher: VDI-P
    Dramatic>Sensitive>Serious

  9. #69
    Member Faine's Avatar
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    I'm not an ENFJ, but I certainly experience the same kind of situations as have been discussed on this thread.
    I'm sure that my ENFJ sister would also agree with just about everything here too.
    Both of us tend to be willing drop everything to help people... but don't get a whole lot in return.
    It's very easy to start feeling used and even resentful after a while.
    Last edited by Faine; 04-05-2009 at 10:17 PM. Reason: INFJ ocd.

  10. #70
    Senior Member Desperado44's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PinkPiranha View Post
    You guys do realize that "learning" not to give a damn is impossible, don't you?
    Yes....I actually agree....and it frustrates me. I want to be a non-feeler....

    Ah hell, that isn't true either......ARGH
    I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. --- Maya Angelou

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