User Tag List

12 Last

Results 1 to 10 of 11

  1. #1
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Posts
    246

    Default ENFPs: having too much hope

    I think this is a question mostly for ENFPs . . .

    but NF's have you ever "stuck it out" with someone early on in "dating" due to his / her MBTI type???

    basically I have been "seeing" an unhealthy INFJ on & off for about 5 months now and I see soooo much good in him, even though he is unreliable, distant, inconsistent, an alcoholic & has bipolar . . . yep . . . it's all true. maybe ya'll think I'm crazy, but I am very attracted to him & where the hell is an ENFP girl to meet INFJ guys . . . there is no changing my mind . . . i decided that INFJ is the only thing that will work for me in the long haul . . . and I liked him for a long time before I administered the lovely test to him . . . in hopes that he wouldn't be INFJ because if he turned out to be something different I would've psyched myself out of liking him (i can do that, you know . . . )

    anyhow . . . thoughts / comments / stories . . .

  2. #2
    Was E.laur Laurie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    7w6
    Socionics
    ENFp
    Posts
    6,075

    Default

    Yikes. INFJ's are difficult without all that stuff going on. Run. Fast. Far.

    I think you will find other INFJ's because they naturally agree with you as enfp. Try to find yourself a healthy one though.

  3. #3
    almost half a doctor phoenix13's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    7w8
    Posts
    1,313

    Default

    Well lemme tell you... everytime I've stubbornly stuck to a path that reason says is bad, but which I really really want to follow for god knows what reason has ended badly for me.

    You haven't mentioned anything truly deep in your commitment to him. Your best argument is the fact that INFJs are rare, and that's a very very weak argument for spending the rest of your life with someone who will at best hinder or slow down your growth and at worst pull you down to an equally unhealthy state.

    I say end it.

    Disclaimer: I'm a random internet person who knows jack squat about you and your situation... consider my advice accordingly.

    "OMG I FEEEEEEEEEL SO INTENSELY ABOUT EVERYTHING OMG OMG OMG GET ME A XANAX" -Priam (ENFP impersonation)

  4. #4
    EvanTheClown (ETC) Clownmaster's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    2
    Socionics
    IEE
    Posts
    965

    Default

    This thread hasn't been touched for awhile, but neither has any NF private forum thread, and this one at least has april replies, so I'm going to go ahead and throw my 2 cents into the ring.

    Quote Originally Posted by revolve View Post
    I think this is a question mostly for ENFPs . . .

    but NF's have you ever "stuck it out" with someone early on in "dating" due to his / her MBTI type???
    Never, and that's almost even a childish thing to do, in my opinion. Personality type is more a loose rule of thumb on people rather than any set of rules or guidelines. So its like the speed limit on the highway when there are no cops around

    Quote Originally Posted by revolve View Post
    I see soooo much good in him, even though he is unreliable, distant, inconsistent, an alcoholic & has bipolar . . . yep . . . it's all true.
    You see so much good in him, sure. But do you see any improvement? If he was in rehab while trying to get rid of his addiction to alcohol, seeing a therapist to filter his issues and learn to be a more productive member of society, or something along those lines, I could see following up on this person being a potential good move. Even then, I'd be wary for a few months though.

    Because you can't spell "Slaughter" without "Laughter"

  5. #5
    Senior Member Wild horses's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Posts
    1,917

    Default

    Yep my hope has got me into a whole bunch of troubles before now... I am soooo stubborn with it too and just wont give it up, won't let my hope die a death along with whatever it is I am hoping in...
    ... couldn't drag me away

    Željko Ražnatovic: argus
    Željko Ražnatovic: do you want heir's?
    WildHorses: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
    Željko Ražnatovic: to carry your genealogical code??

  6. #6
    See Right Through Me Bubbles's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    4w3
    Socionics
    IEI
    Posts
    1,037

    Default

    I'm an INFP, but I know I'd totally hold onto a bad relationship, so instead of getting in a sticky situation I'm just really careful about who I date. I have friends who date whomever whenever and, uh, I hear way more negative stories than positive ones. A handful of those people are ENFPs, too. o.O
    4w3, IEI, so/sx/sp, female, and Cancer sign.

    My thoughts on...
    Enneagram:
    Socionics:
    MBTI:

    DISCLAIMER: If I offend you, I'm 99.9% sure it's unintentional. So be sure to let me know, m'kay? (And yes, an INFP would stick this in their signature, lol.)

  7. #7
    Scream down the boulevard LadyJaye's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    7w6 so/sx
    Posts
    2,077

    Default

    I'd rather be single by a mile than struggle with someone in a bad relationship. Why make yourself miserable? Why make someone else miserable? Maybe it goes against the typical ENFP grain(?) to say it, but I can't deal with the idea that I have to wrangle with someone. If they aren't adult enough to modify their own behavior, then I'm sure as heck not gonna do it for them. I'm not going to be their mother or their boss.

  8. #8
    Junior Member nameBRAND's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2009
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Posts
    25

    Default

    I can't say I've stuck by someone because of their "type". But I guess the overall premise is the same. I held on to someone early in a relationship because I felt they had a quality about them that people rarely had. By doing this, ignoring the obvious warning signs of " GET OUT QUICK ". But as I later began to realize, you fall in love with someone not based on a single rare quality but the entire package. This single quality then became the entire package without actually being the entire package. You know the warning signs as you've stated them yourself. I say, find a person who you genuinely like even if their "type" isn't your projected match. As it'll open more doors for you meeting someone awesome.

  9. #9
    12 and a half weeks BerberElla's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    MBTI
    infp
    Posts
    2,726

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by phoenix13 View Post
    Well lemme tell you... everytime I've stubbornly stuck to a path that reason says is bad, but which I really really want to follow for god knows what reason has ended badly for me.
    Totally. If only I could listen to my reason before my feelings lol.
    Echo - "So are you trying to say she is Evil"

    DeWitt - "Something far worse, she's an Idealist"

    Berb's Johari Berb's Nohari

  10. #10
    Senior Member Rachelinpa's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Socionics
    ENFp
    Posts
    878

    Default

    can't say I've stuck by someone because of their "type". But I guess the overall premise is the same. I held on to someone early in a relationship because I felt they had a quality about them that people rarely had.
    Definitely. It's really hard not to get caught up on that one quality.

Similar Threads

  1. Replies: 5
    Last Post: 05-18-2014, 01:13 AM
  2. Do we have too much time to think about ourselves?
    By Illmatic in forum Philosophy and Spirituality
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 04-27-2013, 03:30 PM
  3. Fear: Better to have too much or too little?
    By Nonsensical in forum Philosophy and Spirituality
    Replies: 27
    Last Post: 08-02-2009, 10:50 AM
  4. [ENFP] ENFPs: ever feel like you have too much love?
    By mas in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 14
    Last Post: 07-13-2009, 05:18 PM
  5. Replies: 42
    Last Post: 12-20-2008, 01:40 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO