Yup! We ENFPs have this tendency BIG TIME... I think it's because:
a) We have this thing called "Vision." We easily see what *COULD* be and not what *IS*
b) We focus on the best in people - no matter what.
Example: John Smith has two DUIs, bad credit, and a drinking problem.
ENFP: "But's he's sooooo sweet and well-intentioned... and he has a brilliant mind and an amazing sense of humor!!! He's really trying hard to make improvements and I admire his efforts!!"
c) We slide into fantasy rather than staying grounded in reality.
I actually had to come up with a mantra for myself to help with this:
"Facts are friends. Repeat, Facts are friends."
That's for when I catch myself fantasizing over how it "could be/if only..." I have to remind myself of the REALITY of the situation.
These qualities can endear us to others - and also be our Achilles heal by keeping us involved in unhealthy situations.
Another tool I have started utilizing: what would I say/think/feel/do if a FRIEND came to me and described the situation I myself am involved in right now. For some reason, when I take MYSELF out of it - my objectivity returns. However, when I am emotionally involved, I find myself almost "too close to it" to have perspective.
Reading the first post - rationally and objectively - it is clearly an unheathy situation. But I completely understand that you're already involved emotionally and therefore it does feel genuinely confusing to you. From the outside looking in it seems obvious.
Damn that ENFP MISGUIDED HOPE thing!!!!!