Why ENFPs usually have so much problems with idea of conflict?
My answer to this may sound weak, but it's about as deep as I can go. ENFP's have an unpleasant
physical reaction to conflict. When I am around conflict, a sickening heaviness wells up inside of me. Imagine a situation where someone says something like "Is that why your wife divorced you?" jokingly, and the person responds "No, she died of cancer..." and as everyone sits there in silence, nonplussed, and your stomach begins to turn...(INTPs, I don't know if this applies to you
) I get a similar reaction to conflicts of all sorts and degrees of importance. Hence, I avoid them at all costs.
But let's take this one step further. Why would an ENFP react that way? In all situations with wiggle room, an ENFP's Ne is comfortable. If something goes awry, he has confidence in his ability to improvise a solution. As an F, he is a pansy and must internalize interpersonal conflicts. In such a conflict, the Fi is automatically stressed. This discomfort is compounded by an Ne that is totally unable to rectify the situation. Therefore, in working toward a solution, the ENFP is forced to resort to a Tertiary Te, or other intelligences which are not natural or comfortable.
A comparison may be drawn between this and any situation that binds the primary functions of a given type. I cannot think of an actual example, but I'll edit this post if I do.
Where do babies come from?
Come over to my place and I'll show you.
Why doesn't ENFP confide things that matters to them and they feel as "personal" to even those who are close to them unless they feel as if they don't have a choice?
This syntax is really fucked up. But I think you're asking why an ENFP would resist opening up to someone close to them. Honestly, I think this is a problem more for INTJ's than ENFP's. Maybe your ENFP friends just don't trust you.
Or maybe I misunderstand the question.
My question is:
Where can i find ENFPs? How will they seem at first?[/QUOTE]
That's a good question. Wherever they are, they will probably stand out a bit- or look like they're trying to. I wouldn't be surprised if they find
you. If you are in highschool, check the theater department. If you are in college, check the psychology department. If you aren't in school, look for them at some local protest. Hugging trees, opposing The Man, and very likely having no clue what they're talking about if you really grill them.
ENFPs are really friendly. They'll probably seem like they have their "heads in the clouds," unconcerned with the present reality and gushing about some hot new thing that they haven't been able to stop thinking about for the past few days and that they believe other people would be interested in hearing them talk about (so long as they are animated enough when they talk about it to excite those around them.) If it is an ENFP you don't know, say a friend of a friend, and there are a few strangers around, the ENFP will probably be quite reserved, in stark contrast with his usual self. An ENFP likes to be goofy and eccentric, but he doesn't want to be ridiculed. So he will probably wait to come out of his shell until he has gotten a "good read" on the people around him. However, if he is indicated, or if someone requests he tell a story, you will probably witness something funny and clever. They tend to make strong impressions regardless of how
muchthey say. That is, when they speak, a lot of themselves comes out with the words.
