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  1. #21
    Was E.laur Laurie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CzeCze View Post
    ENFPs - the kind that definitely rides the train until the last stop and looks around when the car empties, the lights go off, and wonders aloud, "That's it?"
    What a perfect description. I'm there with you.

  2. #22
    Senior Member ColonelGadaafi's Avatar
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    Intreseting, i thank thy lord for not having used Fi in that manner.
    "Where can you flee? What road will you use to escape us? Our horses are swift, our arrows sharp, our swords like thunderbolts, our hearts as hard as the mountains, our soldiers as numerous as the sand. Fortresses will not detain us, nor arms stop us. Your prayers to God will not avail against us. We are not moved by tears nor touched by lamentations."

  3. #23
    Senior Member Rachelinpa's Avatar
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    i think most nfs have this need/desire very strongly bc we often feel overlooked and under-expressed in key (to the heart) ways. to recognize our ideals, feelings, beliefs, and intuitive-feeling gifts. the attachment in these cases is far more significant, durable, and long-lasting bc it is based on something mutually desired and powerful.
    That is so very well said. I had an INTJ friend once who really did not understand that the value I had for her was way different than certain ESFP friends I had (not that I didn't need those relationships as well though). Yes, if I feel understood in that special way or even sense that someone has the capability to do that, I tend to latch on. You're right that it really needs to be mutually desired though. My impatience and idealism sometimes sees what it wants to see and gets me into trouble. Either I make the mistake of assuming that because someone is capable of connecting with me (in that to-the-heart kind of way) that they actually want to or I trick myself into believing that a relationship is more significant than it really is because I'm tired of feeling alone and really desire that connection so very much.

  4. #24
    Senior Member Rachelinpa's Avatar
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    Burning bridges? .. We try scabbing them over first. When repairing doesn't work, we try building a bridge right next to the old one. When that one gets knocked down, we try repairing that. When that doesn't work, we talk and set up the committee of bridge builders to find out why the bridges aren't working. When we don't like their conclusion, we try making something bridge-like that's squeaky and unstable.

    Eventually, we throw our hands up in the air and let the other side burn the bridge we worked so hard on.
    Yeah, seriously. You'd think we'd learn. But it's like... oh, but this was the exception... next time it'll be different... anything is possible... dreams could come true!! you never know!!

  5. #25
    Senior Member Rachelinpa's Avatar
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    I don't care how bad something is, I think in a sick way I can only respond to and recognize intensity or deep connection or a real draw. As long as I see some light in a tunnel or recognize the very real desire or affection or need in someone else (damn Ne!) I will stick around to the bitter end. Sometimes I find myself reduced to playing with rubble and jamming broken pieces together that don't fit, but dammit, I try.
    Totally. And sometimes, I feel like I am the only person who is gifted in this way (not in a pompous way, but I just don't have any other NF friends in real life around unfortunately). So, I think to myself, well, I am the only person who sees this about so-and-so, so I must love them. It seems no one else is long-suffering as I am or has a "very high pain tolerance, both for physical as well as emotional pain" (as you put). Who else will love these people? And, when am I supposed to bail? When it is really necessary?

    We give everything, don't always know when to leave, never close off an option, but we get over stuff quite well compared to other types.
    Hmm...not sure if the last part is true of me. I don't get over it very well until something else comes along. I feel like I hop from investment to investment, which I mean, maybe that's what you mean by "well." I'm always happy to get over it.

  6. #26
    the Dark Prophet of Kualu
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    Well, when all the options are closed... I just accept it and go the other way.

    UNFORTUNATELY... they usually want to stay friends. And that is disturbing. Then I have something to grow on. -.-'''
    Open for interpretation.
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    Fell for the temptation: Nohari / Johari

  7. #27
    Emperor/Dictator kyuuei's Avatar
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    I thought I ought to mention, Im extremely hard headed in relationships. If a relationship ends, it's never because I didn't try hard enough to make it work out.

    People ask me, "Why don't you just break up with him if he won't listen?" My response is always, "I'm not sure it's really over yet." It's almost like I need validation that things aren't entirely my fault, due to my lack of attention to detail or my lack of work or my lack of ANYTHING that caused it all to end.

    Usually, this winds up with relationships lasting longer than they ever should, with me resenting the person for not daring to put as much effort as I did, but with all that said, I don't think there was ever a time I was broken up with. I've always had to make the decision and break up with them.
    Kantgirl: Just say "I'm feminine and I'll punch anyone who says otherwise!"
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  8. #28
    RETIRED CzeCze's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kyuuei View Post
    I thought I ought to mention, Im extremely long sufferingin relationships. If a relationship ends, it's never because I didn't try hard enough to make it work out.
    Fixed. :P

    People ask me, "Why don't you just break up with him if he won't listen?" My response is always, "I'm not sure it's really over yet."
    OMG, so it IS type related!?!?!?

    Almost ad verbatim I'll have people getting angry for me and yelling at me to leave someone but I'm like, "No, no there's still work to be done! It's not over yet!" You just feel that pull like you still have a few innings left and can turn the game around. Bah. We're so silly.

    BTW, dating is easy for me. It's nice having rules and formality. But falling into situations with people all helter skelter with the Fi running things - dear lord, that's when things get messy.
    “If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.” ― Oscar Wilde

    "I'm outtie 5000" ― Romulux

    Johari/Nohari

  9. #29
    Emperor/Dictator kyuuei's Avatar
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    ^ Are you sure we weren't twins separated at birth?
    Kantgirl: Just say "I'm feminine and I'll punch anyone who says otherwise!"
    Halla74: Think your way through the world. Feel your way through life.

    Cimarron: maybe Prpl will be your girl-bud
    prplchknz: i don't like it

    In Search Of... ... Kiwi Sketch Art ... Dream Journal ... Kyuuei's Cook book ... Kyu's Tiny House Blog ... Minimalist Challenge ... Kyu's Savings Challenge

  10. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by CzeCze View Post
    OMG, so it IS type related!?!?!?
    Yes. Even for us guys.

    Incidentally,


    Almost ad verbatim I'll have people getting angry for me and yelling at me to leave someone but I'm like, "No, no there's still work to be done! It's not over yet!" You just feel that pull like you still have a few innings left and can turn the game around. Bah. We're so silly.
    Yes





    I'll say it's definitely helpful for someone like us to be in a relationship with someone who, you know, doesn't throw their hands in the air at the first sign of conflict.

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