User Tag List

First 1234 Last

Results 11 to 20 of 31

  1. #11
    Senior Member the state i am in's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    MBTI
    infj
    Enneagram
    5w4 sx/sp
    Posts
    2,460

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Rachelinpa View Post
    You'd think that because I would assume that there would be more possibilities for NEW relationships that I would be more willing to let go of the ones I already have. Thing is, I want both! I want to hold onto the ones I have and add to it... I feel like I can make space for people if I really like them, but that could also just be because right now I have an overwhelming amount of acquaintances and not enough (of what I would consider to be) real friends. Being "stuck" is my worst fear. And, I do go into a panic every time I get hurt... I throw myself into the world and hope I'll run into someone who is awesome, which... happens enough that I guess I really should trust my own pattern.
    i like what you wrote here. as an introvert i just have less space for people. i kind of balance myself externally somewhat too, especially as an auxilary Fe user, i need constant maintenance and management of what i am taking in. we need to be very dilligent with our emotional diet. whereas Fi users seem to attach to and love people in a different way. they feel like Fi is an endless bottomless well that will never run out (altho the take, take, take and give nothing back in return of some is very unhealthy and damaging for/to Fi users!). whereas i (pretty balanced with Fe and Ti) see relationships more from an external standpoint, the CONTEXT that creates the feelings themselves, how things fit together, the story involved, the editing and cinematography, etc. Fi users can have rich and deep feelings attached to EVERYTHING, their feeling-complex just grows and grows. losing one hurts bc they still value the connection, but it IS of a different sort than for someone like me who feels like one of the emotional beams of the sun is gone and we need to adapt drastically to keep the system in good health/shape. we (Fe) seem to fear losing love, warmth, emotional current (why am i not good enough to be loved?), whereas Fi seems to fear having their love, warmth, feelings they GIVE to others being rejected and reflecting on them (their identity) as such.



    Quote Originally Posted by Rachelinpa View Post
    Yeah... I kind of know that feeling, but true... as an introvert it does seem like yours is intense in a different honed sort of way. I think I am like an introvert only with lots of acquaintances. Does that make sense? I value the intensity and electric relationships far more than the other relationships... but at the same time, I need the other ones to balance out my intensity or I will go crazy. SJs and SPs are like my breath of fresh air. Whereas, perhaps, you and other INTs and INFs are more willing to not have those outside relationships and just have the inner ones. (not really profound, but I process externally... haha)
    you still know when someone recognizes you in a more complex and deeply stirring kind of way. and when you know that your specific talents are being utilised in the relationship, that what you are contributing is in fact your best. i think most nfs have this need/desire very strongly bc we often feel overlooked and under-expressed in key (to the heart) ways. to recognize our ideals, feelings, beliefs, and intuitive-feeling gifts. the attachment in these cases is far more significant, durable, and long-lasting bc it is based on something mutually desired and powerful.

  2. #12

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by the state i am in View Post
    i don't actually invest more, but i feel like i get attached way stronger than others generally do. i feel like i have a desire to connect more, when it breaks off or goes the wrong way it hurts me more than others. sparse intermittent connection doesn't really work for me, i need something intense and electric.

    but at the same time, i feel like someone else could easily step in and replace them. i get disappointed and sad and woe is me, but it has more to do with having something surgically removed and missing its absence in the time it takes to find a new donor.

    if i were an enfp i would be a total relationship slut. but i'm too introverted for that to work out well, along with my lack of the great agility of Ne dom. i find enfps can put everything they have into something, but for the most part, they can move on quickly bc they see so many possibilities tactile and present smoking off their fingertips. at least you don't get hurt easily and then feel stuck for a long time bc you can't see a new way, re-route, create and open up a myriad of possibilities around you.

    dwelling on the meaning of what has transpired and allowing that to limit your options for the future creates way too much emotional conservatism. which prevents you from living your life the way you are meant to live it.
    Good post. And quite true. We give everything, don't always know when to leave, never close off an option, but we get over stuff quite well compared to other types. Once all the options are gone, so are we. Reality dawns, and if we give it time it always finds that settled place. Even the darkest moments of my life have been studied until I saw value and beauty in them.

    It might be that learning and understanding seems to feel rewarding, no matter how dark or crazy the thing is. It is another barrier removed to see reality a bit clearer. I'm not saying there aren't dark thoughts, I have them constantly, but there's always that drive to convert them or find something inspiring in them. The conclusion that the world is doomed, is never allowed to be final. In some ways that is great, but in the past it has caused a lot of problems, because in the wrong places it can drive me to resolve problems rather than walk away. As I get older, I'm realising some problems don't have solutions, or maybe walk away is one of the solutions.
    Freude, schöner Götterfunken Tochter aus Elysium, Wir betreten feuertrunken, Himmlische, dein Heiligtum! Deine Zauber binden wieder Was die Mode streng geteilt; Alle Menschen werden Brüder, Wo dein sanfter Flügel weilt.

  3. #13
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    9w1 sx/so
    Posts
    18,086

    Default

    totally agree with every word of that. ^^ up there.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  4. #14
    Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Socionics
    ENFp Ne
    Posts
    37

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by noigmn View Post
    Good post. And quite true. We give everything, don't always know when to leave, never close off an option, but we get over stuff quite well compared to other types. Once all the options are gone, so are we. Reality dawns, and if we give it time it always finds that settled place. Even the darkest moments of my life have been studied until I saw value and beauty in them.
    This.

  5. #15
    Emperor/Dictator kyuuei's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    MBTI
    enfp
    Enneagram
    8
    Posts
    13,879

    Default

    Burning bridges? .. We try scabbing them over first. When repairing doesn't work, we try building a bridge right next to the old one. When that one gets knocked down, we try repairing that. When that doesn't work, we talk and set up the committee of bridge builders to find out why the bridges aren't working. When we don't like their conclusion, we try making something bridge-like that's squeaky and unstable.

    Eventually, we throw our hands up in the air and let the other side burn the bridge we worked so hard on.
    Kantgirl: Just say "I'm feminine and I'll punch anyone who says otherwise!"
    Halla74: Think your way through the world. Feel your way through life.

    Cimarron: maybe Prpl will be your girl-bud
    prplchknz: i don't like it

    In Search Of... ... Kiwi Sketch Art ... Dream Journal ... Kyuuei's Cook book ... Kyu's Tiny House Blog ... Minimalist Challenge ... Kyu's Savings Challenge

  6. #16

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by kyuuei View Post
    Burning bridges? .. We try scabbing them over first. When repairing doesn't work, we try building a bridge right next to the old one. When that one gets knocked down, we try repairing that. When that doesn't work, we talk and set up the committee of bridge builders to find out why the bridges aren't working. When we don't like their conclusion, we try making something bridge-like that's squeaky and unstable.

    Eventually, we throw our hands up in the air and let the other side burn the bridge we worked so hard on.
    . Yep, that's how it usually goes.
    Freude, schöner Götterfunken Tochter aus Elysium, Wir betreten feuertrunken, Himmlische, dein Heiligtum! Deine Zauber binden wieder Was die Mode streng geteilt; Alle Menschen werden Brüder, Wo dein sanfter Flügel weilt.

  7. #17
    garbage
    Guest

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by noigmn View Post
    It might be that learning and understanding seems to feel rewarding, no matter how dark or crazy the thing is. It is another barrier removed to see reality a bit clearer. I'm not saying there aren't dark thoughts, I have them constantly, but there's always that drive to convert them or find something inspiring in them. The conclusion that the world is doomed, is never allowed to be final. In some ways that is great, but in the past it has caused a lot of problems, because in the wrong places it can drive me to resolve problems rather than walk away. As I get older, I'm realising some problems don't have solutions, or maybe walk away is one of the solutions.
    Quote Originally Posted by kyuuei View Post
    Burning bridges? .. We try scabbing them over first. When repairing doesn't work, we try building a bridge right next to the old one. When that one gets knocked down, we try repairing that. When that doesn't work, we talk and set up the committee of bridge builders to find out why the bridges aren't working. When we don't like their conclusion, we try making something bridge-like that's squeaky and unstable.

    Eventually, we throw our hands up in the air and let the other side burn the bridge we worked so hard on.
    haha yeah.. I see all of this too

  8. #18
    RETIRED CzeCze's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    MBTI
    GONE
    Posts
    9,051

    Default

    ENFPs - the kind that definitely rides the train until the last stop and looks around when the car empties, the lights go off, and wonders aloud, "That's it?"

    I don't care how bad something is, I think in a sick way I can only respond to and recognize intensity or deep connection or a real draw. As long as I see some light in a tunnel or recognize the very real desire or affection or need in someone else (damn Ne!) I will stick around to the bitter end. Sometimes I find myself reduced to playing with rubble and jamming broken pieces together that don't fit, but dammit, I try.

    Wait, if I care for someone and I can see the potential (damn Ne!) and it gets my Fi tickled (damn Fi, by itself you are a teenaged emo monster and you are the bane of all my emotional woes), I will try, and try, and try until I have no more tears left and no more blood left to draw. And that usually takes a long, long time. Very rare that someone can get under my skin like that and this is also why ENFPs can probably seem scizophrenic and strangely guarded.

    I have a very high pain tolerance, both for physical as well as emotional pain. It's not really a good thing. The "P" and the Ne also gives me a very high tolerance for chaos, inconsistency, and uncertainty which can end up contributing to hot messes of failing and dysfunctional situations.

    I think this is the human modus operandi in general - the more you want something, the more you are willing to put up with. Unfortunately for ENFPs, common sense and even self-preservation can go out the window every time. It's like we have no memory in the moment and don't learn from our mistakes.

    Every type fulfills a need and has a cross to bear and I think that's ours. I am absolutely an intimacy and connection junkie but as crazy as it can make me, I wouldn't have it any other way. Which is good, because I freaking can't change it!!! We're hard wired that way! Or at least I am. Learning to deal with it makes us stronger and wiser. Hopefully.

    -->Insert song and lyrics, "People who need people are the luckiest people" blah blah blah

    I wrote a bunch of other stuff related to being 'attachment prone' and the concept of loving with integrity and how you will never, ever keep an ENFP or well, me, down (all the way...for good) but this post got too long.
    “If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.” ― Oscar Wilde

    "I'm outtie 5000" ― Romulux

    Johari/Nohari

  9. #19
    the Dark Prophet of Kualu
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    MBTI
    RAD
    Posts
    860

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Rachelinpa View Post
    See, that's odd... and maybe part of when I'm not like my personality type. You'd think that because I would assume that there would be more possibilities for NEW relationships that I would be more willing to let go of the ones I already have. Thing is, I want both! I want to hold onto the ones I have and add to it... I feel like I can make space for people if I really like them, but that could also just be because right now I have an overwhelming amount of acquaintances and not enough (of what I would consider to be) real friends. Being "stuck" is my worst fear. And, I do go into a panic every time I get hurt... I throw myself into the world and hope I'll run into someone who is awesome, which... happens enough that I guess I really should trust my own pattern.
    This is me. xD Except for the part of enormous amounts of acquaintances. I got some but about 20 really good friends of which 15 I let anything and everything out to. :P

    Quote Originally Posted by kyuuei View Post
    Burning bridges? .. We try scabbing them over first. When repairing doesn't work, we try building a bridge right next to the old one. When that one gets knocked down, we try repairing that. When that doesn't work, we talk and set up the committee of bridge builders to find out why the bridges aren't working. When we don't like their conclusion, we try making something bridge-like that's squeaky and unstable.

    Eventually, we throw our hands up in the air and let the other side burn the bridge we worked so hard on.
    Yup, so true.

    Quote Originally Posted by the state i am in View Post
    i like what you wrote here. as an introvert i just have less space for people. i kind of balance myself externally somewhat too, especially as an auxilary Fe user, i need constant maintenance and management of what i am taking in. we need to be very dilligent with our emotional diet. whereas Fi users seem to attach to and love people in a different way. they feel like Fi is an endless bottomless well that will never run out (altho the take, take, take and give nothing back in return of some is very unhealthy and damaging for/to Fi users!). whereas i (pretty balanced with Fe and Ti) see relationships more from an external standpoint, the CONTEXT that creates the feelings themselves, how things fit together, the story involved, the editing and cinematography, etc. Fi users can have rich and deep feelings attached to EVERYTHING, their feeling-complex just grows and grows. losing one hurts bc they still value the connection, but it IS of a different sort than for someone like me who feels like one of the emotional beams of the sun is gone and we need to adapt drastically to keep the system in good health/shape. we (Fe) seem to fear losing love, warmth, emotional current (why am i not good enough to be loved?), whereas Fi seems to fear having their love, warmth, feelings they GIVE to others being rejected and reflecting on them (their identity) as such.
    I guess I am much of a Fi user in that case.
    Open for interpretation.
    Jo
    Fell for the temptation: Nohari / Johari

  10. #20
    12 and a half weeks BerberElla's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    MBTI
    infp
    Posts
    2,726

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by kyuuei View Post
    Burning bridges? .. We try scabbing them over first. When repairing doesn't work, we try building a bridge right next to the old one. When that one gets knocked down, we try repairing that. When that doesn't work, we talk and set up the committee of bridge builders to find out why the bridges aren't working. When we don't like their conclusion, we try making something bridge-like that's squeaky and unstable.

    Eventually, we throw our hands up in the air and let the other side burn the bridge we worked so hard on
    .

    So true, I love the imagery you conjured up, explains it all quite perfectly.
    Echo - "So are you trying to say she is Evil"

    DeWitt - "Something far worse, she's an Idealist"

    Berb's Johari Berb's Nohari

Similar Threads

  1. [ENFP] Hate an ENFP? Tell us why!
    By findthejake in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 1133
    Last Post: 12-08-2017, 02:44 PM
  2. [ENFP] ENFP's are PARANOID! Hahahaha...um...
    By CzeCze in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 73
    Last Post: 07-30-2009, 09:33 AM
  3. [ENFP] enfp's fact or fiction
    By targobelle in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 458
    Last Post: 05-24-2009, 03:07 PM
  4. [ENFP] INFP vs. ENFP
    By arcticangel02 in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 20
    Last Post: 01-21-2009, 04:19 AM
  5. [ENFP] The ENFP Paradox
    By autumn in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 83
    Last Post: 01-15-2008, 04:14 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO