[MBTI General] How to deal with thinkers emotional blocked-ness?

[Misty_Mountain_Rose]

*sigh* I wish I'd known more about MBTI when I was trailing my INTP around. These forums would have been a great help.

Proceed.

 

[Lasting_Pain]

*sigh* I wish I'd known more about MBTI when I was trailing my INTP around. These forums would have been a great help.

Proceed.

You will not miss the INTP till the INTP is gone. I think the saying goes something like that.

 

[Halla74]

Once you discover the usefulness of Fe, and the beauty of connecting to humanity, you'll never go back.

I hope to God I get to this place one day. I am feelings retarded!

 

[mortabunt]

To get to an INTP's feelings, just hold them close, letting the warmth suffuse both of you, and then let him know that you value him; that he's irreplacable Don't choke, and be gentle. If I had anyone , I'd want them to do that to me. P.S.: If you're just in high school, don't bother. It's probably just develop into short term fling. If you can sustain a real relationship, do as I posted.

 

[Priori]

How to deal with thinkers emotional blocked-ness

Your first mistake is believing that there is something wrong with him that must be fixed.

Your second mistake is trying to make him less himself and more like you instead of either accepting and loving him for who he is or moving on and finding someone more suited to you.

To help you deal with your character flaw I would suggest you google the term Pygmalion Project or pick up this self help book from Amazon.

 

[Sponge]

Marry him for five years and then eventually he'll admit to being rubbish at that sort of thing, which seems like a good start

Seriously, my hubby doesn't really express himself at all, but I kinda got used to it. The times we bond and enjoy each other's company the most is when we engage within sarcastic debates that usually take the piss out of other people >_>

I've pushed him a few times, out of frustration I guess, but he's always tried to explain his position regarding those times, even if he couldn't explain it in a NF language, just the fact he even tried is enough for me to know that he values me. Plus he puts up with me too, so that's a bonus.

I like this thread ^^

 

[Priori]

I have a live-in INTP boyfriend and, yes he does that as well. Thing is, he just doesn't feel the same way I do. It takes a lot for an INTP to trust you enough to even tell you their feelings. The way they express them is completely different. It can feel strange and ingenuine a lot of times but I've learned to take his word for it when he tells me how he feels.

Your boyfriend does feel emotion the same way you do and just as intensely - however, for him to show it the way you do would make him feel very cheap and fake. I imagine one reason he loves you is because you can be very expressive in your emotions and seem very genuine to him while doing it.

A few years ago I found a theory called Neural Linguistic Programing which deals with many things including rapport building techniques. I found that using the techniques really helped me communicate with people a whole lot better even though it made me feel very fake and insincere, even dirty and manipulative. The thing was, I wasn't faking emotions I didn't feel - it was more like putting on a play to express the emotions I felt so that others could understand me better.

I don't know if it's the same for all INTPs but for me fakeness and insincerity are two things I hate and strong expressions of emotion often felt fake as hell to me even if I was feeling extremely intense emotion at that time. If your INTP doesn't seem to be very expressive in their professions of love then it could be because they are trying to be as honest, genuine and real with you as possible.

When she does do her withdrawal thing - she won't even respond to texts - there is like a 24 - 48 hr lag time if she even bothers to respond...
All of my other friends always respond right away so it's a different experience for me - I have had to learn not to take it personally.

Making an educated guess I'd say you are the only person not in her immediate family with whom she talks to or texts on that cell phone and even then she doesn't use it to talk to her immediate family more than a few times a week. The delay maybe because the battery died because she forgot to charge it or because the left in in a weird place and didn't here it ding, buzz or whatever. You may think she immediately got the text and and decided not reply for a day or two but in reality she may have spent the last 48 hours inside her head with thoughts of you to the point that she forgot about little things in the real world like making sure the phone was charged and within hearing distance in case you tried to contact her.

I'm sure you've figured out by now that your INTP is not like your other friends, and unlike them she doesn't spend all day texting and chatting and so isn't accustomed to making sure it's charged and near her, and well we can be absentminded at times.

 

[iwakar]

To get to an INTP's feelings, just hold them close, letting the warmth suffuse both of you, and then let him know that you value him; that he's irreplacable Don't choke, and be gentle. If I had anyone , I'd want them to do that to me. P.S.: If you're just in high school, don't bother. It's probably just develop into short term fling. If you can sustain a real relationship, do as I posted.

Wow, INTPs really just want long hugs? REVELATORY! (I knew hugs would save the NT souls.)

:runs for the nearest INTP: Don't panic INTJs. I see the horror in your eyes. I'll save your hugs for last.

 

[Costrin]

Wow, INTPs really just want long hugs? REVELATORY! (I knew hugs would save the NT souls.)

:runs for the nearest INTP: Don't panic INTJs. I see the horror in your eyes. I'll save your hugs for last.

It's a well kept secret. And one that I'm trying to be a whistle blower for.

 

[Virtual ghost]

Wow, INTPs really just want long hugs? REVELATORY! (I knew hugs would save the NT souls.)

:runs for the nearest INTP: Don't panic INTJs. I see the horror in your eyes. I'll save your hugs for last.

You are free to hug me as long as you like I will not mind.

 

[Fluffywolf]

It's every INTP's dream to be floating around in space and time, unraveling all of its mysteries while being hugged by someone they love for all eternity (Or until there's nothing left to explore at least. )

 

[groovejet02]

Add some LSD and convince them that humanity isn't made up by robots.
Then you might actually see some tears.

I don't believe that humanity is made up of robots. I know that people have problems, fears and dreams. I don't need to display my tears to show just how kind-hearted and un-misanthropic I am. What pisses me about Feelers is that they think they have a goddamn monopoly on kindness and humanity.

 

[Sponge]

I think INFP's can look very detached at times as well, or at least my ESFP mother would always say that I was about as emotional as a robot. Just because I don't flower her with love and hugs doesn't mean I don't feel it internally, dammit.

Or maybe that's just me >_>

 

[entropie]

And never forget the Steven Seagal chart, it helps to get a kickstart on the single T-motions

 

[Sponge]

Wow, that 'aroused' look really grabs me

 

[BlackCat]

I think INFP's can look very detached at times as well, or at least my ESFP mother would always say that I was about as emotional as a robot. Just because I don't flower her with love and hugs doesn't mean I don't feel it internally, dammit.

My ENFP mother gets on me about this all the time. You're not alone. I choose to not show my emotions to my parents (unless I need to), it's no biggie.

 

[ConchShell]

It's every INTP's dream to be floating around in space and time, unraveling all of its mysteries while being hugged by someone they love for all eternity (Or until there's nothing left to explore at least. )

INTP hugs are most surprising though. At least I was stunned when I received one. I usually respond to hugs very quickly and very warmly, but I had to convince myself 'Is this usually totally unexpressive guy really hugging me?! Quick! It is true! Respond! Respond!' That was the most delayed response to a hug I have ever given!

 

[Sponge]

I've come to realise that the worst question I can ask my INTP hubby is "Do you love me?" followed by either "Prove it!" or "Tell me what you love about me!". It's like a train wreck in slow motion >_>

 

[Fluffywolf]

I've come to realise that the worst question I can ask my INTP hubby is "Do you love me?" followed by either "Prove it!" or "Tell me what you love about me!". It's like a train wreck in slow motion >_>

Do you love me?

Yes.

Prove it?

I wouldn't have said yes if I didn't love you.

Tell me what you love about me!

Everything but the part of you that is asking me that.

 

[Sponge]

Wow, that response is so familiar, it's uncanny