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  1. #21
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    aww...that's hard for enfp person then...i think
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  2. #22
    Senior Member Tiny Army's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Costrin View Post
    Both.

    imo
    Yep! ENFPs just have more feelings than INTPs. They are also better able to express them.

    I would like him to be able to intuitively understand hints that I drop but he often doesn't. I usually sulk for a bit (just 'cause) and then explain to him what kind of response I wanted and why. It's actually remarkable to me how confused he is about the reason for the sulking!

  3. #23
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    aww...it's sweet though.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  4. #24
    Member g_vartan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JuneBugGemini View Post
    My bf is an INTP and very emotionally blocked. It was fine with me for a quick minute, but now it's starting to strain the relationship a bit.
    Should I just ask him to try to open up a bit more, or wait it out a little more? (we've been together for about 3 months)
    Been there, done that. Note though that for most INTPs, 3 months is still very early and this is usually the stage where they take a step back and begin analyzing their feelings towards you. I say give it more of time.

    My advice to you is for you both to try to find a middle ground:

    1) You need to understand his "love" / "feeling" language and expression will always be different. It will require for you to not be needy and be patient as your INTP gets comfortable with his relationship with you and as he processes his feelings.

    2) He needs to make an attempt to be more emotionally expressive -- and the only way he would know that he needs to do that more is by you expressing in a gentle, non-accusatory manner your Fe needs, i.e., "Hon, I like it when you tell me [insert Fe comment] because it makes me feel [insert]."

    Relationships are hard, and requires continuous communication and a healthy sprinkling of Fe to sustain/grow. Moreover, the essence of love defies logic, hence INTPs aren't necessarily ready-made, proficient partners off the bat. This is sometimes very hard to accept for the INTP's partner since the relationship could sometimes feel like a one-sided relationship or rather empty/lonely.

    Its good to be patient but also recognize your needs / limitations. Relationships though (regardless of type) will only work if both partners wish to grow together. If he's not making an effort or leaving you unsatisfied, perhaps it isn't the relationship for you.

  5. #25
    rawr Costrin's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by g_vartan View Post
    Been there, done that. Note though that for most INTPs, 3 months is still very early and this is usually the stage where they take a step back and begin analyzing their feelings towards you. I say give it more of time.

    My advice to you is for you both to try to find a middle ground:

    1) You need to understand his "love" / "feeling" language and expression will always be different. It will require for you to not be needy and be patient as your INTP gets comfortable with his relationship with you and as he processes his feelings.

    2) He needs to make an attempt to be more emotionally expressive -- and the only way he would know that he needs to do that is by you expressing in a gentle, non-accusatory manner your Fe desire, i.e., "Hon, I like it when you tell me [insert Fe comment] because it makes me feel [insert]."

    Relationships are hard, and requires continuous communication and a healthy sprinkling of Fe to sustain/grow. Moreover, the essence of love defies logic, hence INTPs aren't necessarily ready-made, proficient partners off the bat. This is sometimes very hard to reconcile for the INTP's partner since the relationship could sometimes feel like a one-sided relationship or rather empty. Its good to be patient but also recognize your needs / limitations. Relationships though (regardless of type) will only work if both partners wish to grow together. If he's not making an effort or leaving you unsatisfied, perhaps it isn't the relationship for you.
    This.
    "All humour has a foundation of truth."
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  6. #26
    Courage is immortality Valiant's Avatar
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    All NT's should be forced to have a tattoo in their forehead that says:

    ABANDON ALL HOPE, YE WHO ENTERS...

    Or something like that... It would be cool to have that one on the ass, though... ;D
    But then again... Ass... Forehead... What's the difference when we're talking about NT's?

    Mightier than the tread of marching armies is the power of an idea whose time has come

  7. #27
    The Memes Justify the End EcK's Avatar
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    could u please stop describing not being an emo as some sort of terrible flaw?

    please?
    Expression of the post modern paradox : "For the love of god, religions are so full of shit"

    Theory is always superseded by Fact...
    ... In theory.

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  8. #28
    Lasting_Pain
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    Patience is key. When he opens up to you, it will be a flood gate of emotions that will most likely overwhelm you if not prepared.

  9. #29
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    To the OP: what would you like him to express that he isn't expressing now? I mean in terms of specifics...physical, verbal, whatever. Do you want him to reveal how he feels about different situations and experiences through speech? Or like hugging/increased physical expressions or actions? Or whispering sweet nothings into your ear ?

    I ask because I never know what people mean when they say that others should be more "emotionally expressive." I mean, most people I've met (including NTs) have not had problems voicing that they "felt" the movie was great, or that they "feel" that the situation could have been handled better, or that so and so really irks/saddens/inspires them. Sure, sometimes it can be subtle, but is subtly the problem? I get the impression that for the OP there is absolutely no expressiveness, like he's a literal robot. I know that's the NT stereotype, but I seriously have yet to meet anyone like that (the closest I've seen to this was in depressed people).

    So, to sum up...any examples or anecdotes of what it means to be emotionally expressive, or what it means to be emotionally inexpressive? It seems like it would be relative to people's experiences, so I like to have a reference point when assessing situations like this.
    Artes, Scientia, Veritasiness

  10. #30
    Junior Member civil_disobedience's Avatar
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    You may either have to accept him for exactly who is he and how he expresses himself or break up.
    I had similiar issues with the intj I'm with. I used to try to extract (or hope for) an emotional response from him that was unnatural for him.
    It was ridiculous. But the more I try to truly get to know and understand who he is instead of trying to make him into who I want him to be, the more he opens up.
    NTs feel the same feelings NFs feel, they just have a different way of expressing themselves.

    But..it seems like the only way to get close to an NT is to show them that you can teach them something, so I think Skyward makes a good point.

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