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  1. #11
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    damn we are impatient lil twits aren't we...i imagine that is something really important to work on when with an intp.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  2. #12
    Badoom~ Skyward's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by erinavery View Post
    damn we are impatient lil twits aren't we...i imagine that is something really important to work on when with an intp.
    Impatient you ENFPs may be, but it's fun to watch you folks prance about


    Patience is basically the key in most relationships, anyways.
    'Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and its better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring.' - Marilyn Monroe

    This is who I am, escapist, paradise-seeker.
    -Nightwish

    Anthropology Major out of Hamline University. St. Paul, Minnesota.

  3. #13
    rawr Costrin's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JuneBugGemini View Post
    Well, see the thing is, he can tell me what he's feeling, but it's just so strange in the way he does it...like he's not really feeling it at all.
    And just the fact that he doesn't show emotion in general, just not even a lil'. I mean, I'm not gonna force him or anything (and prolly won't be able to, him being a typical stubborn INTP >.>) it's just really frustrating, trying to get close to him on an emotional level.
    Well first, realize that a lot of times, we really aren't feeling much of anything. Second, we don't connect with people on an emotional level. As pointed out above, we do it on an intellectual level. A lot of the times, emotions don't even cross our minds. Experiencing emotion is not our natural state, so if you ask us what we're feeling, our honest answer would be something like "not much". When we do experience emotion, it takes some private analysis to figure it out, and furthermore, we don't particularly enjoy expressing our emotions. We like to keep them to ourselves. They're a very private thing for us, and it simply doesn't cross our minds to show em to others, and when we do, it feels unnatural. We're basically exploring uncharted territory whenever we do it.

    However, this doesn't mean at all that we don't like you. I suggest learning to recognize how he shows his appreciation, which is basically just by spending time with you, interacting with you, and letting you in on our interests.

    But clearly, you have your emotional needs. It wont come naturally, but we can learn to recognize and reciprocate emotions. It'll be a slow process, and likely feel very unnatural and uncomfortable for him. You could help by being open with your wants. Don't try and be subtle, it's quite possible he will miss it entirely. Just spell it out what you want, and (assuming its a reasonable request) he'll probably be glad to oblige, and relieved because the uncertainty is gone. Eventually, and very (very) slowly, he'll feel comfortable with sharing his emotions with you openly, but even then, remember that we don't experience them as often.

    imo
    "All humour has a foundation of truth."
    - Costrin

  4. #14
    Senior Member professor goodstain's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by erinavery View Post
    damn we are impatient lil twits aren't we...i imagine that is something really important to work on when with an intp.
    Thus the animated/generated games. If you know what i mean. Emotionless instant gratification. Do i feel more for grany who was ran over by a car thief in Grand Theft Auto, or a sophomore in high schools intp boyfriend?

    Upon further thought/feeling, i feel/think more for Tacos right about now.
    everyone uses every function about evenly. take NE for example. if there are those who don't use it much, then why are there such massive amounts of people constantly flowing through Wallmart with 20 items or less?

  5. #15
    Senior Member professor goodstain's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by professor goodstain View Post
    You are a sophomore in HS? wtf? See ya in 5 years.
    Politically correct disclaimer-Sure, i care. For my ass not bein assumed an INTJ for conversing with underage youth.
    everyone uses every function about evenly. take NE for example. if there are those who don't use it much, then why are there such massive amounts of people constantly flowing through Wallmart with 20 items or less?

  6. #16
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    I'm not an INTP, but close enough to be able to relate, in that our feeling is our weakest preference.

    It takes a lot of time and patience to develop.

    I'm in my 20s now, and it's only just becoming clear to me how good it feels to connect with people through Fe.

    I've always felt alive, as in connected with my reality which is things, but I largely avoided connecting with people because I didn't know how. Thus, my reality was incredibly empty and lonely.

    Once you discover the usefulness of Fe, and the beauty of connecting to humanity, you'll never go back.

  7. #17
    Senior Member Tiny Army's Avatar
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    I have a live-in INTP boyfriend and, yes he does that as well. Thing is, he just doesn't feel the same way I do. It takes a lot for an INTP to trust you enough to even tell you their feelings. The way they express them is completely different. It can feel strange and ingenuine a lot of times but I've learned to take his word for it when he tells me how he feels.

  8. #18
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    you really think he can't feel it like you tiny? or he just can't express it?
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  9. #19
    rawr Costrin's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by erinavery View Post
    you really think he can't feel it like you tiny? or he just can't express it?
    Both.

    imo
    "All humour has a foundation of truth."
    - Costrin

  10. #20
    See Right Through Me Bubbles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Costrin View Post
    Well first, realize that a lot of times, we really aren't feeling much of anything. Second, we don't connect with people on an emotional level. As pointed out above, we do it on an intellectual level. A lot of the times, emotions don't even cross our minds. Experiencing emotion is not our natural state, so if you ask us what we're feeling, our honest answer would be something like "not much". When we do experience emotion, it takes some private analysis to figure it out, and furthermore, we don't particularly enjoy expressing our emotions. We like to keep them to ourselves. They're a very private thing for us, and it simply doesn't cross our minds to show em to others, and when we do, it feels unnatural. We're basically exploring uncharted territory whenever we do it.

    However, this doesn't mean at all that we don't like you. I suggest learning to recognize how he shows his appreciation, which is basically just by spending time with you, interacting with you, and letting you in on our interests.

    But clearly, you have your emotional needs. It wont come naturally, but we can learn to recognize and reciprocate emotions. It'll be a slow process, and likely feel very unnatural and uncomfortable for him. You could help by being open with your wants. Don't try and be subtle, it's quite possible he will miss it entirely. Just spell it out what you want, and (assuming its a reasonable request) he'll probably be glad to oblige, and relieved because the uncertainty is gone. Eventually, and very (very) slowly, he'll feel comfortable with sharing his emotions with you openly, but even then, remember that we don't experience them as often.

    imo
    Bubbles finds this quite helpful, and quite accurate with regards to INTP friends of hers. NFs and NTs can find a wonderful middle ground if you try. They're good give-and-take relationships, and good for growth of both parties. It's just important to see how each side sees differently.

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