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  1. #91
    Once Was Synarch's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by FemmeUrbane View Post
    Love... true love... really hurts.

    I don't blame her.
    You have to feel hurt to feel anything else.

    On a related note (feeling very associative today), Waylon recited this quotation on an episode of The Wire:

    "You can hold yourself back from the sufferings of the world, that is something you are free to do and it accords with your nature, but perhaps this very holding back is the one suffering you could avoid." - Franz Kafka
    "Create like a god, command like a king, work like a slave."

  2. #92
    Allergic to Mornings ergophobe's Avatar
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    Thanks Synarch. Your advice is very insightful and helpful.

    Oh, yea, that's the intensity when we choose to focus only on you. Reality distortion field.
    You're absolutely right. I was a little suspicious of the extreme charm and attention because I do that myself (ENXP) and am good at it too. It was strange to meet someone who was as good or even better at the charming. That's partly why it felt like such a good match.

  3. #93
    Allergic to Mornings ergophobe's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by FemmeUrbane View Post
    Love... true love... really hurts.

    I don't blame her.
    You have to feel hurt to feel anything else.
    I like the Kafka quote - very apropos.

    Isn't love or deep emotion the greatest thrill of all? As a thrill-seeker myself, I was surprised that she would shy away from what I see is the greatest ride of all.

  4. #94
    Once Was Synarch's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ergophobe View Post
    Isn't love or deep emotion the greatest thrill of all? As a thrill-seeker myself, I was surprised that she would shy away from what I see is the greatest ride of all.
    Maybe she doesn't want to be on your ride? Or be your ride?
    "Create like a god, command like a king, work like a slave."

  5. #95
    o edward cullen! Ardea's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Synarch View Post
    You have to feel hurt to feel anything else.

    On a related note (feeling very associative today), Waylon recited this quotation on an episode of The Wire:

    "You can hold yourself back from the sufferings of the world, that is something you are free to do and it accords with your nature, but perhaps this very holding back is the one suffering you could avoid." - Franz Kafka
    Ooo! I like what you're saying!!!

    I see love a bit differently. I see falling in love as something that... should be a bit more... holy. Set apart. From normal emotions.

    I allow myself to feel horror, disdain, disgust, sadness, joy... everything. It connects me to humanity (it is usually in response to mankind as a whole - treatment, interaction, etc).

    But love... we shouldn't go willy-nilly, allowing ourselves to grow connected to people we could not possibly love. The difference between love and infatuation. Love is way too multifaceted. We should connect with care, and purposefully. Deliberately. Not on a whim. It is a heavily weighed choice. Your life happiness depends on it.

    Broken hearts heal in days, months. A broken life may never be whole again. ((I'm thinking long term here - a so-so relationship --> a bad marriage --> a nasty divorce --> POSSIBLE broken life))

    I really don't blame her...
    Practice random kindness and senseless acts of beauty.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  6. #96
    Allergic to Mornings ergophobe's Avatar
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    Maybe she doesn't want to be on your ride? Or be your ride?
    Fair enough -- that's exactly what I'm afraid of. This actually made the slight ENTP in me laugh out loud a little. Thanks for the perspective. I needed that!

    If that's what would have been stated clearly, I think I would have been able to move on more easily. It's the 'I do feel something but am afraid to act on it' that's confusing.

  7. #97
    o edward cullen! Ardea's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Synarch View Post
    Maybe she doesn't want to be on your ride? Or be your ride?
    Sometimes, a temporary thrill isn't worth it at all!

    Sometimes, there is too much to lose.
    Practice random kindness and senseless acts of beauty.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  8. #98
    Once Was Synarch's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by FemmeUrbane View Post
    Sometimes, a temporary thrill isn't worth it at all!

    Sometimes, there is too much to lose.
    Oh, I wasn't talking about a temporary ride. Just the idea of adventure.
    "Create like a god, command like a king, work like a slave."

  9. #99
    o edward cullen! Ardea's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Synarch View Post
    Oh, I wasn't talking about a temporary ride. Just the idea of adventure.
    Adventure with the heart?

    No thank you!
    Practice random kindness and senseless acts of beauty.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  10. #100
    Allergic to Mornings ergophobe's Avatar
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    I allow myself to feel horror, disdain, disgust, sadness, joy... everything. It connects me to humanity (it is usually in response to mankind as a whole - treatment, interaction, etc).

    But love... we shouldn't go willy-nilly, allowing ourselves to grow connected to people we could not possibly love. The difference between love and infatuation. Love is way too multifaceted. We should connect with care, and purposefully. Deliberately. Not on a whim. It is a heavily weighed choice. Your life happiness depends on it.

    Broken hearts heal in days, months. A broken life may never be whole again. ((I'm thinking long term here - a so-so relationship --> a bad marriage --> a nasty divorce --> POSSIBLE broken life))

    I really don't blame her...
    That was quite enlightening. It's such a different perspective. It's not that I would take the adventure lightly, not at all. There's a reason I'm suffering a little now - I take all my adventures seriously. But you are right, in matters of the heart, once convinced of the potential (it's rare that happens), I will jump in and take the risk. In that sense, I am far less deliberate once the initial screening is done. The ENFP in me says "it feels so good, how could this go wrong?". Clearly, the logical consequences could be considered more fully. I appreciate the NT input in that regard.

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