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  1. #21
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    nicely said edhan, i agree.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  2. #22
    Senior Member the state i am in's Avatar
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    op-
    i think it has more to do with you than with your desire to help others. i find i have more trouble at times bc i go back and forth with increasing speed until i realize i just do not KNOW what is best for anyone. the world is very complex. but that is beside the point, bc we attack the problem from a different perspective.

    nonetheless, i get what you're saying. i too have often felt this way. everyone needs a purpose and something to define them. as we mature we become more balanced and accept slowness and downtime in our immediate present. we trust more bc we have more to rely upon.

    however, what you give is, it seems to me, less empathy and more love. Fi knows feeling. it has worked out the mathematical equations internally. enfp's great gift, to my ears, sounds less like empathy and more like enthusiasm. it is a contagious enthusiasm. enthusiasm is based on a word of divination, entheos. it inspires profound changes, lifts spirits, gives and gives and gives. it's greatest skill is that it PRODUCES so much, it always has a surplus to give, and as a result it DOES and does not ever stop.

    your feelings of disappointment when there is nothing to be done, where you are obsolete, etc, those are perfectly understandable. thinkers will attack it based on objective logic, but no one likes to shrivel up like a branch cut off from the wide base of the tree's trunk. luckily for you we will never run out of our need to be inspired, enthused, lifted (and lucky for us). and you will also learn how to balance your own needs as well as those of others as you mature (tentatively guessing your age based on your handle).

    but regardless it seems like a very beautiful dream, we need them so the world has something to float along upon like the current of a river. the buoyancy of hope keeps a dishonest world honest, incites everyone to participate when the games are stacked and corrupted from the inside out.

  3. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by Antisocial one View Post
    To me this entire empathy , love people , need people .... etc. thing in many cases look like something that can be called a form masturbation.
    Let me give you some feedback other than "you're wrong :steam:" because you've actually posited some good ideas.

    We're all going to want to play to our natural strengths under stress, even when it's not the best course of action. NFs tend to excel in helping other people, so, under stress, they may turn to helping others rather than confronting their own problems.

    As a result.. yes, one may deny that someone is okay, just so that they can help out. But I, for one, know that in order to truly be able to help others, I've got to be healthy first.

    Overall, empathy isn't a weakness.


    There's an analog for empathy and helping people, and all of the unhealthy implications you describe, for all types. Just look at each type's natural strengths and dominant functions, and you'll have the exact nature of that analog.

  4. #24
    Striving for balance Little Linguist's Avatar
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    I help other people when they want to be helped. Otherwise, they can kiss my ass.

    Nahhh, not that bad. But what I mean is: I don't show my empathy for others when they just shit on me in return. What's the point?

    Otherwise, when people react positively, I am happy to give them all the love and support they need!
    If you are interested in language, words, linguistics, or foreign languages, check out my blog and read, post, and/or share.

  5. #25
    Queen hunter Virtual ghost's Avatar
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    My post was not designed to be right (or wrong) since it was a provocation.

    What I was trying to see is how NFs will react if you attack them directly in so crucial area.

  6. #26
    Senior Member Moiety's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Antisocial one View Post
    I will probably hurt someones feelings but I think that some things need to be said.


    To me this entire empathy , love people , need people .... etc. thing in many cases look like something that can be called a form masturbation.

    I would dare to say that this comes out because of problems with your confidance.
    You (NFs) when you don't know what to do you play it safe by trying to help people understand their feelings. Basicly this is nothing more then need to be needed.

    Plus if you are in vulnerable/unplesant situation you will make a number of mistakes. Mostlly by projecting your emotions on others.
    OK sometimes people really need help, that is a fact. But NFs approach in this kinds of things can go too far. So instead that you help a person you annoy that person. Probably by saying that they are denying their feelings.
    While the person can have much smaller set of emotions.
    Not to mention that in many cases can be debated if the person actually need a session.

    I think that in many cases you are the ones that really need help/support and you probably know it.

    As for gift/curse: I think that is more of a curse.



    This is written in very simplistic way but I think that my claims are clear.
    NF perception makes just as many errors as NT perception. Also, androids are harder to diagnose

  7. #27
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    there ya go sy
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  8. #28
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    Understanding people easily right away would be a huge plus to have on your side. For whatever you wanted to do...

  9. #29
    Senior Member Uytuun's Avatar
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    Hmm, I can actually relate to some of this.

    I don't need to feel needed and I don't yearn to connect, but I do feel it when someone is feeling down, or something is wrong or etc. and I will often feel like I need to do something...especially with people I have connected with. I guess it's a matter of wondering about/being sensitive to what people would like me to do - I actually have a pretty bad case of that for a T, it feels like an obligation, sometimes - not entirely comfortable, but also something I can't help but having around. I don't always follow through for a variety of reasons, especially when the "demands" on the part of the other person get too much or aren't in line with my own beliefs (Fe and Si values I can't really deal with too well) I'll try to block the feeling with cold hard reason. I guess I'm most sensitive to other people's Fi. Also, sometimes I see things that aren't there and find that people take their issue less seriously than I do - projection. Tertiary Fi that I can't control that well.

  10. #30
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    This does sound familiar. Must be our dominant Ne + Fi that does this. As each year goes by I get a bit more selective about who to give my empathy to. Agree with Little Linguist here that it can be useful to be selective in this. I used to give out empathy free for all when much younger but found this doesn't work well with everyone. Some people simply don't want it thank you very much and others don't deserve it. I sponsor a child with a charity to fulfill my need to do something useful for someone. When I feel like more drama I sometimes daydream drama rather than finding problems to create a drama with.

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