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  1. #11
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    what!!?? i resent that!!

    we could have ourselves a lil dramatic scene about it if ya want....drama!!?? me??!! hey screw you!!!

    edit...actually really though...i don't think i am...this mbti shit is messing with my self perception...you guys can knock it all off now.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  2. #12
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    Totally identify with the OP...though I don't consciously go looking for people who are broken to fix. Somehow I do find them though and I do love to help. Also, when I am bored with no one to talk to, it's not that I'm wishing misfortune on someone so I can help 'em but I do know what it's like to be bored out of your skull and needing a fix by connecting with someone intensely. If I don't get it, it makes me restless, annoyed and I rebel against just about anything. My SO has learned to stay far away from me when I'm in that mood
    On the other hand, I do occasionally relish having the day all to myself without anyone needing my help

    And yeah..I thought that the INFJ was supposed to top us in this?
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  3. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by Amargith View Post
    Totally identify with the OP...though I don't consciously go looking for people who are broken to fix. Somehow I do find them though and I do love to help. Also, when I am bored with no one to talk to, it's not that I'm wishing misfortune on someone so I can help 'em but I do know what it's like to be bored out of your skull and needing a fix by connecting with someone intensely. If I don't get it, it makes me restless, annoyed and I rebel against just about anything. My SO has learned to stay far away from me when I'm in that mood
    On the other hand, I do occasionally relish having the day all to myself without anyone needing my help

    And yeah..I thought that the INFJ was supposed to top us in this?

    I think ENFPs are very empathetic, they make a huge difference in people's lives and have in mine. I understand what you are saying.

  4. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by Amargith View Post
    Totally identify with the OP...though I don't consciously go looking for people who are broken to fix. Somehow I do find them though and I do love to help. Also, when I am bored with no one to talk to, it's not that I'm wishing misfortune on someone so I can help 'em but I do know what it's like to be bored out of your skull and needing a fix by connecting with someone intensely. If I don't get it, it makes me restless, annoyed and I rebel against just about anything. My SO has learned to stay far away from me when I'm in that mood
    On the other hand, I do occasionally relish having the day all to myself without anyone needing my help

    And yeah..I thought that the INFJ was supposed to top us in this?
    This empathy and need-to-connect thing must be an NF thing. I suppose it is how each type goes about it that is different. This INFJ goes about it in a way that looks too purposeful and intense. My IRL ENFP goes about trying to fix me whenever she is having her bouts of existential angst.

    THIS INFJ has learned to focus on fixing THINGS now (like broken laptops and things around the house) as opposed to people. True, THINGS don't thank you when you've fixed them. But the feeling of being in control of my life and not subject to my moods at least WHILE I am fixing those broken things, is worth a LOT, IMHO. Intellectual pursuits are also another way of relieving 'boredom'...And picking the brains of y'all on this forum too!

  5. #15
    Queen hunter Virtual ghost's Avatar
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    I will probably hurt someones feelings but I think that some things need to be said.


    To me this entire empathy , love people , need people .... etc. thing in many cases look like something that can be called a form masturbation.

    I would dare to say that this comes out because of problems with your confidance.
    You (NFs) when you don't know what to do you play it safe by trying to help people understand their feelings. Basicly this is nothing more then need to be needed.

    Plus if you are in vulnerable/unplesant situation you will make a number of mistakes. Mostlly by projecting your emotions on others.
    OK sometimes people really need help, that is a fact. But NFs approach in this kinds of things can go too far. So instead that you help a person you annoy that person. Probably by saying that they are denying their feelings.
    While the person can have much smaller set of emotions.
    Not to mention that in many cases can be debated if the person actually need a session.

    I think that in many cases you are the ones that really need help/support and you probably know it.

    As for gift/curse: I think that is more of a curse.



    This is written in very simplistic way but I think that my claims are clear.

  6. #16
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    Totally disagree AO and think that's whole lot of projecting and misinterpretation on your part....but perhaps i feel that way because i don't share the op's need to be needed...i actually prefer that i'm not...but relating, connecting to and empathizing with people is by no means any more a form of masturbation than your need to dissect them is...and it's ridiculous to say so...quite arrogant as well. We all have our abilities and situations they are best used for.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  7. #17
    Striving for balance Little Linguist's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cheerchick23 View Post
    Does anyone else experience this sort of intense feeling of wanting to connect with people, wanting to understand them, wanting to help them and love them and change their lives.... and a sort of restless desperation when nobody needs your help?

    there are days when i just feel such a strong and personal yearning to connect. sometimes it's just an overwhelming desire to cheer someone up (writing encouraging letters, calling an old friend), or a desire to engage in an exciting or spiritual or complex conversation with someone..... but sometimes it's that dreamy, almost whimsical, longing to change a life, touch a soul, mend a heart.......

    when you're bored and alone on a late night, some people have dreams of money and fame and power.... this is my dream: to randomly meet someone who is interesting, dynamic, kind, and broken... together we would explore the world, explore the mind, explore the heart, and i would be able to heal, inspire, entertain, and love them.... forever, complete with our own soundtrack and movie montage

    but back to reality i feel like everyday is an opportunity. i love helping people and talking with them in almost any and every way.... but there are those days when everyone is having fun, everyone is happy and content on their own, there's no drama to mediate, no conflicts to settle, no advice to give, no explanations to provide, no gloomy faces to brighten.....

    i hate those days it makes me feel useless, boring, awkward, and restless... almost paranoid sometimes....

    does anyone identify with any part of this?
    I used to be like this before I became cynical and realized that most people are just stupid, resent help, want to keep on their dumb-ass paths that lead to destruction, and refuse to be educated.
    If you are interested in language, words, linguistics, or foreign languages, check out my blog and read, post, and/or share.

  8. #18
    Senior Member SuperFob's Avatar
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    This is written in very simplistic way but I think that my claims are clear.
    And inaccurate.

    My post, put in an even more simplistic way: You've misread NF's more than just a little bit.

  9. #19
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    thanks superfob.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  10. #20
    Senior Member ThatsWhatHeSaid's Avatar
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    It's both a curse and a blessing. I deal with this stuff all the time. It helps when you can understand the shit out of people, comfort them, and predict exactly how they're going to react and how to create certain reactions using mood, tone, and words. It sucks when you are feeling the discomfort of others and confusing it with your own, or when you become really sensitive to things and shut down or let anxiety get the best of you.

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