Advice for dealing with your ENFP when they are in this state includes simply understanding that we're feeling our way through rather than reasoning our way through, and that it is not a blow to our understanding but an assault on our entire paradigm. Your natural understanding of how to reconcile a J and P rift can be extremely helpful to us if you reason from a perspective of how we feel about it. One of my INTJs has caught on to this, and now reflexively opens his help with questions like "How does this make you feel?" and "Why do you feel that way?" which helps me focus on my paradigm from a somewhat detached perspective. From there, he can usually help me bridge gaps of logic in my philosophical reasoning, and is especially adept at getting me to understand that what I have perceived may not be so intrinsically tied to the subject I have such strong feelings about. Lastly, he's also very careful to not invalidate any of my feelings or ideals in the process. More than anything, this makes it possible for him to help, even if there is nothing he can do, because this prevents him from making his attempts to help seem antagonistic to me while I am irritated from the foundation of my being. Gentle compassion and patience always disarms an ENFP. If you've ever tried to help an ENFP in this state and got snapped at, it was because you were not gentle enough in trying to adjust our most sensitive area which was already hurting at the time, and caused it to hurt more. Even if we do snap at you, you need to know that we greatly appreciate the help you're trying to offer, even if it really isn't helping. The worst thing you can do is mistake our reactions for anything other than us hurting and escalate the moment into a personal argument. When our paradigm is in jeopardy, the one thing that normally keeps us behaving in a conscientious manner is not available to us, and we will likely 'cut loose' on you without being able to explain what has caused the reaction or why.
