She's really so lucky to have you in her life. I'm sure she knows how much you care about her. Sometimes, honestly, knowing that people care about me is the only thing that keeps me from hitting eject. That in itself is frustrating, but it's basically the same as sharks. Not going anywhere no matter how miserable I might get... internal values, you know.
1) Forge ahead through the unhappiness. It sucks and pain will be there but dont give up. Tell her to aim for a week from today, then a month from today. Once there look back and see how much less of the pain she feels and how she has recovered.
2) Fi really hurts when it feels rejected. Tell her to not think about the person or circumstance that hurt her but instaed think about the network of others that care for her. Picture each of those other folks in her mind, try and focus on the love that she feels for each of those individuals and how much they love her. Imagine the physical sensation of that love, and tell her to recognize that network is still there even if one person/circumstance hurt her.
3) When hurt I turn to Te if needed to give me an idealistic goal. My pain and hurt can actually cause a Te defensive rebound which enables me to focus and achive things I would normally be to scattered to do. It gives me strength.
I seem quite inconsolable when situations like this arise. I'm usually very in-control of myself, and usually recognize when I am not. When it comes to breaking and bending, people have trouble it seems with being able to "say the right thing", because the truth is at those points in my life, there seems to be no right thing.
The comfort is... we can't STAY upset. Something drives us to keep moving forward, to keep walking even when our legs are giving out. I don't know if it's a fear of being a disappointment, or a fear of being a burden to others, but I can't seem to slow down for very long regardless of the case. No matter how upset, disappointed, sad, etc. I am, it can't last.
When it rains, it pours, and rain never lasts forever, even if it's a rainy season.. just when you think the rain is going to stop, more pelts you, and it may even get really muggy and stay damp when the sun does shine.. but it will. And it'll all go away again, and reap the rainbows you're seeking.
I think the greatest thing is someone is capable of tolerating me during those times. Just being there, letting me vent, being supportive, etc. I couldn't ask for more of someone when I am that big of a wreck.
Kantgirl: Just say "I'm feminine and I'll punch anyone who says otherwise!"
Halla74: Think your way through the world. Feel your way through life.
Cimarron: maybe Prpl will be your girl-bud
prplchknz: i don't like it
It's a relief to know that other ENFP's understand what I'm feeling. It's so hard to explain how hideously bad "bad" feels, and how I can't stop it once I've been pushed over. It's like I've tripped, and I'm sliding down a steep muddy slope - no matter how hard I try to slow my descent, I can't stop it until I'm at the bottom. I don't do that very often. Normally, I'm very aware of myself, and I have a lot of self-control most of the time. The things that have been happening to me, and to Pink, over the last year, happening to our bodies, to our family - I prioritize where my feelings go, and I have to dismiss what I can't do anything about, but no one can control how they feel about a situation. They can only control how they react to it. That's what I've been trying to do. Only, every once in awhile, all of the hurt and fear and anger comes pouring out of me, despite my best attempts at trying to pace it. Then it's not regular crying, it's like this terrible sobbing that comes from somewhere deep inside of me, and I can't stop it, to the point where I'm physically exhausted. But, I have to just ride it out. I'm just so sorry that it upsets Pink so much. She wants me to be okay, and I appreciate that so much.
Usually it happens when my sense of place in the cosmic levels is messed up, like I can deal with all of the terrible things in the world as long as I know that God still loves me and wants to care for me. But, when that gets violated, there's nothing anyone can say to fix it, because my head thinks, " Who can speak for God?!" and then the descent begins. I have to believe that people's lives - their bodies and souls and spirits - that each one of them matters to God. I have to believe that, or I wouldn't be able to deal with the world unless there was hope for change and for better things.