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  1. #1
    Senior Member mwv6r's Avatar
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    Default Which opposite pairings work?

    Do certain opposite pairings work better than others?


    The website LoveType has info about a book that recommends particular Myers-Briggs matches based on marriage satisfaction rates between partners. I was surprised that a couple of the opposite pairings seem to have high success rates but not others.

    The opposites that this author's research claims are supposed to mesh well are:

    INFJ + ESTP
    ENFJ + ISTP


    [See LoveTypes INFP Love Tips, LoveTypes ESTP Love Tips, etc. for more info. The website gave some caveats about gender but I won't go into all that here. The website also gives several "top matches" for each Myers-Briggs type.]


    I'm an INFJ and my partner is an ESTP, and the opposites attracting thing is definitely true for us. I know a couple other pairings of opposites (female ISFJ + male ENTP, male INFP + female ESTJ). The ISFJ + ENTP pairing doesn't seem ideal, though of course that could just be the personalities involved rather than the Myers-Briggs types -- he cheats on her and just doesn't appreciate her in general (makes me really mad because she's a great girl!). The INFP + ESTJ pairing seems better, although I don't know them well enough to make more than a surface observation.

    So I'm curious what you all think -- anyone out there want to share their experiences about dating their opposite? Do you think there's something to the INFJ+ESTP and ENFJ+ISTP pairings in particular, as the website above suggests?

    Thanks!

  2. #2
    Seriously Delirious Udog's Avatar
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    INFJ - ESTP and ENTJ -ISTP immediately came to mind. There is something electric about those matchups.

    ESFJ - INTP could possibly be the candidate for the worse opposite pairing. I don't know about ENTP - ISFJ, but I wouldn't be surprised if it's not optimal either.

    ENFP - ISTJ. I know that they tend to adore each other, but I don't often see the overpowering chemistry as xNFJ - xSTP.

    INFP - ESTJ. A good business relationship and frustrating romantic relationship.

    No clue on the others.

  3. #3
    garbage
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    My nextdoor neighbors were EnFP (weak N) and ISTJ, an artist and an accountant, and it seemed to work very, very well for them.

    Being a ENFP guy, I don't think I'd get on well with a T in the long term. Something about the odd swapping of gender roles and the need to feel needed and appreciated would likely get in the way. I guess I'd rather be the T in the relationship and this odd website even seems to agree with me

    I read somewhere that joint NF couplings report one of the highest satisfaction rates.


    But then, using MBTI to find or limit matches might not be the best idea in the world. Speculation is fun, though!

  4. #4
    Feelin' FiNe speculative's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by greed View Post
    Speculation is fun, though!
    Why yes, it is.
    "How can I be, all I want to be,
    When all I want to do is strip away these stilled constraints
    And crush this charade, shred this sad, masquerade"
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qGeq5v7L3WM

  5. #5
    violaine
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    I haven't dated an ESTP. I don't know how true the description of ESTP is as set out in that link:

    IF YOU ARE A WHEELER-DEALER:

    You are someone who:
    *Craves excitement, stimulation, and variety in everything, including relationships.
    *Can be an expert seducer.
    *Believes in action, not theory.
    *Is often a master promoter.
    *Can be manipulative if you want to be.
    INFJ tips for ESTPs:

    *Join them on any of their favorite fun activities: dancing, gambling, diving, jet skiing, and so on.
    *Don't be overly possessive: they love to flirt and can't stand anyone who doesn't allow them to be social.
    *Put your foot down, however, when they are being too flirtatious; they respect a mate who won't let them get away with excessive
    extra-curricular flirting that may lead to an affair.

    *Encourage them to do what they do best: entertain you and make you laugh until you cry.
    ^Confining myself just to that description and those tips... do not want!

    I would never feel safe with someone like that. I can't see how those traits seem like they would go well with your garden variety INFJ. i.e. I do not want to be on the lookout for extra-curricular flirting. If someone is relying on me to rein them in, sooner or later they will "hang" themselves, so to speak.

  6. #6
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    My first introduction to MBTI was through that book, LoveType. My sister had it and I picked it up and read it, and it left a very bad taste in my mouth. I felt that most of the IN descriptions were very, very negative. From that book, I tested as an INTP and I found that description (along with INTJ) to be overwhelmingly negative (and I very much like INTPs & INTJs in person), and I sensed a huge bias towards E & S types. Anyway, I think the person who wrote that book is an ESTJ or something

    It took me awhile to give any consideration to Myers-Briggs types after that. I am glad I got past that book and got much better insight into the different types and how it all works.

    I think it's fun to speculate too, but I wouldn't use that source to do it...
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

  7. #7
    Senior Member Azseroffs's Avatar
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    All I know is keep me away from ESFJs
    ENTJ LIE
    3w4 sp/sx
    3w4(4w5)-5w6(6w7)-9w8(1w9)

  8. #8
    violaine
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    Quote Originally Posted by mwv6r View Post
    I'm an INFJ and my partner is an ESTP, and the opposites attracting thing is definitely true for us. I know a couple other pairings of opposites (female ISFJ + male ENTP, male INFP + female ESTJ).
    I'm so curious now, how do things work for you and your partner? I think INFJ + INTP are a good match as the website suggests. I think INFJ + ENTP is a match too, it's odd that it isn't mentioned.

    Quote Originally Posted by mwv6r View Post
    The ISFJ + ENTP pairing doesn't seem ideal, though of course that could just be the personalities involved rather than the Myers-Briggs types -- he cheats on her and just doesn't appreciate her in general (makes me really mad because she's a great girl!).
    Aww, ew. ISFJ + ENTP sounds like a difficult pairing to me.

  9. #9
    Revelation Lauren Ashley's Avatar
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    No ESTPs for me, please.

  10. #10
    Habitual Fi LineStepper JocktheMotie's Avatar
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    The best part of that website is this guy:




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