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[MBTI General] Which opposite pairings work?

Domino

ENFJ In Chains
Joined
Nov 5, 2007
Messages
11,429
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eNFJ
Enneagram
4w3
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sx/so
If I had an ESTP in harness, we'd probably wind up invading a small country. suh-WEET! haha!

The sort of terrifying shaking-all-over mutual attraction I've experienced is ISTP, INTP, ENTP. That doesn't happen to me a lot.
 

Halla74

Artisan Conquerer
Joined
Jan 20, 2009
Messages
6,898
MBTI Type
ESTP
Enneagram
7w8
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
If I had an ESTP in harness, we'd probably wind up invading a small country. suh-WEET! haha!

The sort of terrifying shaking-all-over mutual attraction I've experienced is ISTP, INTP, ENTP. That doesn't happen to me a lot.

By small country you mean China, right? ;)
 

Domino

ENFJ In Chains
Joined
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11,429
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eNFJ
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sx/so
Dude. I totally mean China. LOL
 

ajblaise

Minister of Propagandhi
Joined
Aug 3, 2008
Messages
7,914
MBTI Type
INTP
I don't think I could ever work out with an ESFJ. I usually find it easy to be cool with them on a surface level, but when I'm around them for an extended period of time, I just feel like I don't like them, and think that they can tell.

But I guess ESFJs are one of the most common types, so maybe there's some subtypes out there that I would be interested in.
 

OrangeAppled

Sugar Hiccup
Joined
Mar 20, 2009
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7,626
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INFP
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4w5
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sp/sx
If one thing makes me mad about typology is when they over generalize the types.

I notice that INFPs & INFJs often both get frustrated at how their type is described. I think the people doing the writing in some instances perceive us differently from how we feel. What's frightening is then you have to wonder if that's how other people actually see you :shock:

I admit I am obsessed with the arts, but I agree, that is not my sole interest. I actually pride myself in trying to take interest in things other people like, so as not to be self-absorbed.
The crusade or mission is not always easily identifiable to other people. It doesn't have to be stereotypical Mother Theresa stuff. I think it's simply what drives us to act outside of our imaginations and actually accomplish stuff. It could something practical even, like paying the rent.
I admit I am super sensitive, but not in the cry-baby, delicate way that some descriptions portray us. My sensitivity shows up more as feistyness to people than soft emotions.
I agree about the values thing too...it doesn't have to be something noble like morals. Our "righteous anger" flares at seemingly smaller issues, and so we don't always come off as the touchy-feely hippy. I've heard people talk about "mean INFPs" and I feel I may be one of those :devil:
 

BlackCat

Shaman
Joined
Nov 19, 2008
Messages
7,038
MBTI Type
ESFP
Enneagram
9w8
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sx/sp
I've heard people talk about "mean INFPs" and I feel I may be one of those :devil:

I agree with you on all points, I'm glad someone else feels the way that I do! I also think that I'm one of those "mean" INFPs as well. :tongue:

One of my main problems with relating to INFP profiles is that most INFP profiles describe enneagram four INFPs, while I am a 9w8.
 

Lady_X

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 27, 2008
Messages
18,235
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ENFP
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784
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sx/sp
I don't think I could ever work out with an ESFJ. I usually find it easy to be cool with them on a surface level, but when I'm around them for an extended period of time, I just feel like I don't like them, and think that they can tell.

But I guess ESFJs are one of the most common types, so maybe there's some subtypes out there that I would be interested in.

z7shysterical.gif
 

OrangeAppled

Sugar Hiccup
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I agree with you on all points, I'm glad someone else feels the way that I do! I also think that I'm one of those "mean" INFPs as well. :tongue:

One of my main problems with relating to INFP profiles is that most INFP profiles describe enneagram four INFPs, while I am a 9w8.

I'm still getting a grasp on the enneagram thing, but I think I am a 4w5.
Anyway, the overly nice, passive descriptions of INFPs don't hit home with me either.
 

Lightyear

New member
Joined
Jul 3, 2008
Messages
899
ESFPs have in-depth relationships?

Which "depth" are we talking about here?

My ESFJ flatmate has very deep relationships in the way that she cares about other people a lot, makes sure friendships, relations with family members etc are kept well and thriving. ESFJ relationships can be very deep on an emotional level.
 

Domino

ENFJ In Chains
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11,429
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eNFJ
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sx/so
ESFPs aren't shallow. My best gf feels as if she'll never be in love again since the man she was in love with died. That was many years ago. She's still not over him. She thinks of him every day. We were talking about him just yesterday because she misses him and feels stupid for not being able to "just move on". I told her to leave the feeling alone and let it work itself out, and that she may never get over him entirely.

When you meet the right man, your heart will go out to him, but that doesn't mean erasing what once was. Balance will be achieved when it's time.
 

mwv6r

New member
Joined
Nov 22, 2008
Messages
208
MBTI Type
INFJ
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4w5
I'm so curious now, how do things work for you and your partner? I think INFJ + INTP are a good match as the website suggests. I think INFJ + ENTP is a match too, it's odd that it isn't mentioned.



Aww, ew. ISFJ + ENTP sounds like a difficult pairing to me.



Things work pretty well for me and my ESTP :wubbie: I will say that earlier in our relationship we did have to work out the extracurricular flirting bit. It's not as bad as it sounds though, so long as the ESTP is actually interested in settling down; I wouldn't recommend trying to reform one who wants to play the field. The issue we had was that he (like most ESTPs) is very outgoing and playful, and stuff I considered flirting he considered just being himself. He was willing to set parameters to keep me happy though. And definitely putting your foot down works wonders with an ESTP. They naturally enjoy testing boundaries but if you are firm they'll respect you.

On the positive side, I feel like INFJs and ESTPs have tons of chemistry. Even after 6 years of dating we're very affectionate and have lots of snuggle time. He admires my intelligence and compassion and I admire his confidence and ability to let loose and live life to the fullest. As an INFJ I tend to be rather regimented and overly-serious when left to my own devices, but he keeps me laughing constantly and having fun.


I actually don't think I could handle an ENTP in a relationship. I love having lively discussions with my fiance's ENTP friends and they are some of the most hilarious, zany, and fun people I know, but to me they seem a little like ESTPs on crack, and I mean that in the best possible way and as someone who really enjoys and admires the company of ENTPs! ESTPs like to push the limits, but eventually they'll settle down and respect the constraints of a given situation. ENTPs don't just toe the line, they stomp on it and then keep going. Also, many that I've known seem to have some trouble with monogamy, such as our friend who dates an ISFJ. My apologies if I'm offending any ENTPs out there, I'm sure many are more mature and responsible than my fiance's friends so I shouldn't generalize. Also female ENTPs seem to be a different breed altogether; I know one and she is very low-key, I actually mistook her for an ESTP until she took the test with me.
 

Lauren Ashley

Revelation
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Aug 19, 2008
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INFJ
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Ohhh, how close-minded of you, Lauren! Not all ESTPs (men) are bad guys!

There are several reasons why I don't think an ESTP is for me. One not being that ESTPs are "bad."

The most important reason is that I can't take them seriously. I always take whatever they say or do as a joke, or think their comments are baseless or inaccurate. Just like I can't take you seriously when you say I'm closed-minded; of all the qualities I possess, that is not one of them.

I think the contrast makes for a good friendship. I enjoy my ESTP friends. It's just that I look for different traits in a life partner vs. a friend.
 
Joined
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There's an istp/enfj couple on the other side of the street in my neighborhood who just had their 50-somethingth anniversary. That worked out pretty well.
 

Virtual ghost

Complex paradigm
Joined
Jun 6, 2008
Messages
19,769
I think that this thread has one large flaw.

Which means that if you have the opposites which are not expressed in their types you actually have two very similar individuals.
And the differences could be something that will actually make it interesting.
 

StephMC

Controlled Mischief
Joined
Mar 2, 2009
Messages
1,044
MBTI Type
ISTP
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9w8
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sp/sx
I just posted this on a similar thread, but I feel the need to accentuate it: ENFJ male + ISTP female = implosion. Someone also posted ISTP + ENTJ on the first page of this thread (might have been a typo, though)...and while that could probably work, it's not ideal. One of my best friends is an ENTJ guy. Love him to death and I really admire his differences, but could never date him. While I don't mind someone making every-day, minor decisions for me, an ENTJ would be too overpowering for my taste. Too intense ...when all I wanna do is enjoy the ride and the sun shinin on my face :X
 
V

violaine

Guest
Things work pretty well for me and my ESTP :wubbie: I will say that earlier in our relationship we did have to work out the extracurricular flirting bit. It's not as bad as it sounds though, so long as the ESTP is actually interested in settling down; I wouldn't recommend trying to reform one who wants to play the field. The issue we had was that he (like most ESTPs) is very outgoing and playful, and stuff I considered flirting he considered just being himself. He was willing to set parameters to keep me happy though. And definitely putting your foot down works wonders with an ESTP. They naturally enjoy testing boundaries but if you are firm they'll respect you.

On the positive side, I feel like INFJs and ESTPs have tons of chemistry. Even after 6 years of dating we're very affectionate and have lots of snuggle time. He admires my intelligence and compassion and I admire his confidence and ability to let loose and live life to the fullest. As an INFJ I tend to be rather regimented and overly-serious when left to my own devices, but he keeps me laughing constantly and having fun.


I actually don't think I could handle an ENTP in a relationship. I love having lively discussions with my fiance's ENTP friends and they are some of the most hilarious, zany, and fun people I know, but to me they seem a little like ESTPs on crack, and I mean that in the best possible way and as someone who really enjoys and admires the company of ENTPs! ESTPs like to push the limits, but eventually they'll settle down and respect the constraints of a given situation. ENTPs don't just toe the line, they stomp on it and then keep going. Also, many that I've known seem to have some trouble with monogamy, such as our friend who dates an ISFJ. My apologies if I'm offending any ENTPs out there, I'm sure many are more mature and responsible than my fiance's friends so I shouldn't generalize. Also female ENTPs seem to be a different breed altogether; I know one and she is very low-key, I actually mistook her for an ESTP until she took the test with me.

Aw, that's great. Very nice to hear. My Dad is ESTP and I have seen how devoted he was to my Mom. Though definitely had a wild streak and still does. Hmm, I usually never even give someone who is very flirtatious a chance. It's such a turn off, probably because I feel like they don't take me seriously. I normally prefer the attentions of fellow introverts, serious and focused right from the start... intense!

Your friend's situation sounds awful, must be hard to watch them both like that.
 

Costrin

rawr
Joined
Nov 1, 2008
Messages
2,320
MBTI Type
ENTP
Enneagram
5w4
So apparently I need to find an INFJ female, but it looks like the ESTPs are taking them all.
 
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