ESFPs aren't shallow. My best gf feels as if she'll never be in love again since the man she was in love with died. That was many years ago. She's still not over him. She thinks of him every day. We were talking about him just yesterday because she misses him and feels stupid for not being able to "just move on". I told her to leave the feeling alone and let it work itself out, and that she may never get over him entirely.
When you meet the right man, your heart will go out to him, but that doesn't mean erasing what once was. Balance will be achieved when it's time.