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Thread: Who here has experienced "limerance?"

  1. #51
    Banned Array
    Join Date
    Jul 2010


    Limerance is defined in the awesome people's dictionary as; When an NF temperament falls in love.

    (Stereotype fun.)

  2. #52
    Member Array Cheshire Grin's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    IEI Ni



    If music be the food of love, play on,
    Give me excess of it, that surfeiting,
    The appetite may sicken and so die.
    That strain again, it had a dying fall.
    O, it came o'er my ear like the sweet sound
    That breathes upon a bank of violets,
    Stealing and giving odour. Enough, no more,
    'Tis not so sweet now as it were before.

    O spirit of love, how quick and fresh art thou,
    That notwithstanding thy capacity
    Receiveth as the sea
    , naught enters there,
    Of what validity and pitch so e'er,
    But falls into abatement and low price
    Even in a minute! So full of shapes is fancy
    That it alone is high fantastical.

    Twelfth Night, I.i

    Hmm, I think it’s different from lust. Lust is usually just a strong sexual craving for somebody and as far as my understanding goes it consists mainly of ‘physical’ want. Limerence is where the perceived image of the object of affection holds an incredible amount of power emotionally/mentally over the one who is ‘limerating.’ In fantasies you would do anything to obtain them: burn bridges, put on noble displays of heroism, suffer great pain just to have them want you back…with lust you just want to rip off their clothing in the hotel corridor :P. In the text posted by the OP it says that “physical contact with the object is neither essential nor sufficient to an individual experiencing limerence, unlike one experiencing sexual attraction....”

    I think it’s more than just daydreaming about a person and thinking about them constantly. It’s quite normal to

    • Think of the person you like while you’re cooking dinner and wonder what it would be like to have dinner together
    • Think of the person when you see a couple on the street holding hands and imagine holding their hand
    • Think of them while going to bed and imagine them sleeping beside you
    • Fantasize about doing activities together

    I wouldn’t say that somebody with those kinds of thoughts are in a state of limerence. If you’ve really taken to someone of course you’re going to think about them all the time. After all, you want them around. It doesn’t necessarily mean that something is wrong with you. Some people are just better at focusing on the activities they have to do daily while others are more susceptible to experiencing intrusive thoughts of the person they adore.

    So if limerence is based on fantasizing about obtaining somebody (great now I just made people sound like cars or something), what happens if the affection is returned by the subject? It doesn’t make much sense to continue fantasizing about having them when you already have them, or is that part of the underlying idea?
    The question isn’t who is going to let me; it’s who is going to stop me. --A. Rand

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