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  1. #1
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    Default ENTP female + ENFJ male?

    Anyone have any thought on this pairing?

    This is what I'm thinking, to start with:

    -power couple dynamic, both like to be the stars and both are good at making that happen. Similarly, able to keep up with each other, match wits, sometimes a competitive vibe. This make the relationship explosive, potential short lived, but pretty steamy...
    -both like to advocate/teach/advise others, but in different ways. this makes them benevolent, compatible leaders of their brood or friend group.
    -the NT in her admires his Jness... his ability to do math, balance a checkbook, and loves to let someone else be in charge for once. The Jness gives him an edge that allows her to maintain interest. He gets to "take care" of her in a way that she's not used to allowing. In general, I think J males and P females allow them to play out certain traditional gender roles that makes them compatible.
    -He admires her independence, her confidence, her somewhat masculine nature. Her Tness keeps her just out of his grasp, he knows he'll always be somewhat emotionally vulnerable next to her, and that gives her a mystique needed to maintain his attraction. This flips around the gender roles a little bit.. I think T women and F men are often compatible for this reason. An F man needs a woman who seems strong. A T woman needs a man who brings out her emotional side, teaches her how to feel.
    -At the same time, his emotions can seem easy or shallow to her, and she can feel betrayed just because she let her guard down. He'll feel guilty and paralyzed, and uncommunicative. His "uncritical" (in her eyes) stance toward other people and his expansive (and sometimes flirtatious) friendships can make her jealous.
    -he can get frustrated by her forgetful, messy, spread-too-thin, juggling-too-much, not doing-any-one-well nature, and the inconsiderate ways she allows it to impact other people.


    What are your thoughts/experience with this pairing?

  2. #2
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    Go for it.

    I love ENTPs. The dynamic can be great. I'm not a physical person, but ENTPs have a way of extroverting my affectionate side like no other. Plus the mental stimulation is amazing.
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  3. #3
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    more like better understanding something I've been am in and have in the past...

    But yeah, I think there is something about the ENTP/ENFJ combo that makes for a good combo of physical/mental simulation. It works both ways... ENTPs don't get affectionate in a sustainable way for most types...

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    Quote Originally Posted by velourial View Post
    more like better understanding something I've been am in and have in the past...
    That sounds lovely. Have you any particular ENFJ in mind? Someone still here or someone in the past?

    But yeah, I think there is something about the ENTP/ENFJ combo that makes for a good combo of physical/mental simulation. It works both ways... ENTPs don't get affectionate in a sustainable way for most types...
    I've had that explained to me by friend ENTPs before, mostly because I was used to igniting the tertiary Fe and receiving a warm welcome/interaction with ENTPs I was interested in/were interested in me. I thought they were naturally affectionate, but it was pointed out to me that unless someone/something special to them is activating and bringing the Fe forward, "affectionate" is not necessarily the case, at least not in daily activities. That was quite a revelation, to be told "No, it's *you* they're responding to, not a natural daily sustained state. You're seeing your own Fe, not their's."

    What I like about ENTPs is their intensity and dedication to those they love, and their curiosity for just about everything. You could never stagnate or get bored.
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
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  5. #5
    Senior Member the state i am in's Avatar
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    i don't know any entp females, but i can totally see this working. power couple, definitely. very challenging and creative pairing, they'd both totally be digging it (enfjs are probably the best at this of any type, eliciting and getting creative juices flowing and getting the other person to put their best freest least held back foot forward).

    i have one entp friend who was the only person i really enjoyed getting high with, generally i preferred to do it by myself and write, listen to or play or dance to music, do yoga, cook, etc. but the dominant Ne WITH the tertiary Fe and aux Ti just is an endlessly creative and exciting counterpart. entps are devilish and great at getting into trouble, hanging out is a crash course in spontaneity. i wanted to do this but held back, how'd you know this is so fun???? yes let's get out a 4-track and record ourselves freestyling. why not? yes let's finish this comedy sketch we're already halfway there, right? the biggest plot twist is ALWAYS yet to come (just right around the corner). really good creative energy, i need more entps in my life.

    as an introvert i find my ability to concentrate and coalesce and synthesize complex ideas, concepts, scenarios, processes/practices, is generally helpful for extroverts. however this is unnecessary for many couples, and entp-enfj would just be a really active, outgoing, mover-and-shaker type couple, i imagine. less interior life, more exterior.

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by PinkPiranha View Post
    That sounds lovely. Have you any particular ENFJ in mind? Someone still here or someone in the past?
    A little bit of both... ;-)


    Quote Originally Posted by PinkPiranha View Post
    "No, it's *you* they're responding to, not a natural daily sustained state. You're seeing your own Fe, not their's."
    This is true. We can be downright chilly at other times... And superficially and expansively warm...

    Quote Originally Posted by the state i am in
    as an introvert i find my ability to concentrate and coalesce and synthesize complex ideas, concepts, scenarios, processes/practices, is generally helpful for extroverts. however this is unnecessary for many couples, and entp-enfj would just be a really active, outgoing, mover-and-shaker type couple, i imagine. less interior life, more exterior.
    I wonder what might be lost without all this E, without the I influence you describe? Still, maybe the T from one and the J from the other would serve something of this function?

  7. #7
    Senior Member the state i am in's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by velourial View Post
    I wonder what might be lost without all this E, without the I influence you describe? Still, maybe the T from one and the J from the other would serve something of this function?
    i just think it would mean it would be more on-the-go, more adaptive in-the-moment and less introverted let me stop, pause, and consider the implications. it would spend less time looking at the big picture for guidance, weighing pros and cons, and learn more from experience. much faster moving.

    i think it can be a very balanced relationship, introversion just brings other things into the picture that are a separate aspect, a different blend of elements. introversion can be very boring for other people, pausing too much, waiting for synthesis, too seemingly self-contained, etc. it is not exciting watching someone introvert, unless their eyes keep lighting up like eureeka and their hands get excited gesticulatingly wildly and then they start spewing ideas very race-against-the-clock kind of way. they look silly when they're super excited and blissed out.

    i think enfj males would also be better at creating a more advanced T-F dichotomy/balance than infj males. you would probably get both extremes of thinking and feeling, which at times can help and at times can weigh down the power couple aspect as well. very practical in terms of your ability as a social force, but might be frustrating and require more emotional management/attention/expression from the entp. i require a lot (it can frustrate Ts) and i'm aux Fe, introverted, and quite independent. enfj Fe is way more on the surface, whereas mine can go dormant at times.

  8. #8
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by velourial View Post
    A little bit of both... ;-)
    The best kind.


    This is true. We can be downright chilly at other times... And superficially and expansively warm...
    This is what makes ENTPs so generally popular and infectious - a sort of confident ringmaster persona, you might call it. They aren't so much like that, in my experience, when they're alone with someone they care about. It goes from "showman" to "shyboy".

    I knew I really meant something when he came to me for help. Really exposed in a very bad moment, trusting me to take control and not hurt him in the process. That struck me powerfully. An ENTP relinquishing power, even temporarily, is something to behold. It's one of the few moments where I was struck speechless, and we were staring at each other in total silence while he fought not to cry. Seeing weakness in them makes me want to cover and stand over them until they regain themselves, like not let anyone near them. It triggers my internal attack dog.

    It was also a point of pride for me that he respected my intelligence highly and if something got left to me to do (I was a mechanic), he trusted me to do it right and not have to check up behind me.
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  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by Domino View Post
    Go for it.

    I love ENTPs. The dynamic can be great. I'm not a physical person, but ENTPs have a way of extroverting my affectionate side like no other. Plus the mental stimulation is amazing.
    this does seem to be true.

    enfjs seem to be extra affectionate with me and then claim they arent like that with anyone else

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