[MBTI General] How often do you hide your emotions?

[Lady_X]

Another reason people seem different on the forum than in real daily life is because in a forum there are no interrelation agendas. Life is so full of agendas you really cannot share emotions and express yourself honestly.

funny...it's the opposite for me. irl i know who i'm talking to so i can be more open...the relationship is more defined so there's a comfort there.

 

[Eagle]

It depends.. I usually just don't express them. It's not that I'm hiding them. It's that expressing them just isn't me. If I trust you though, I loosen up. I think you can distinguish my feelings rather well even when I "hide" them.

 

[Hirsch63]

I often hide my emotions in daily life. Generally I've found people can't handle emotions and sharing them comes back to bite you in the ass if you're not careful.

I'd much rather just work through any emotions and feelings I have myself. Talking about and showing them only leads to be being put in the hot seat. Interrogation on why you feel that way and to having something you felt and expressed being hung around your neck so to speak.

++++1

 

[iwakar]

Revealed emotions: non-revealed emotions
25%: 75%

 

[CrystalViolet]

No I generally don't show my feelings (for real), only when they are fairly intense and I can't contain them any longer. People really can't deal with the intensity of my emotions, so I hold back a great deal, because I know most people get burnt in the fire, so to speak. Only a couple of friends have an inkling just intensely I feel about things.
One friend used to say to me "I never know how you feel, you just seem to pour it all into your latest project."
This friend also used to say she knew I was angry with someone, when I'd started intellectualising at them, and she prayed that she would never be on the receiving end of that, but even then, that's not exactly an expression of emotion. Only some one who knew me very well would know that's a defence mechanism (and part of the reason I'm borderline T/F).

 

[mlittrell]

too often

 

[Serendipity]

All the time. Makes life easier and when hidden, it's like they do not exist any longer.

 

[Little Linguist]

I would not be suprised that there is already a slimilar thread.

I am watching NFs(and SFs) on this forum and it looks to me that a number of people is much "softer" then people in reality.

The most obvious conclusion why things look this way is because in reality people really hide their emotions. Probably because they make them vulnerable.

So, how often are you afraid that people will figure out what you are actually feeling?

Also I think that this is one of the main reasons why many Fs can look like Ts in real liife.

COMPLETELY!!!! *Everyone* tells me I look like a hardcore T in real life. While discussing personality tests by coincidence one day (my student is into these tests as well - lucky coincidence we happened upon), she insisted "but...you're NOT a feeler - you're totally a THINKER!!!!!" Pfft, I didn't know whether to take that as a compliment or not hahahahaa.

My husband complains, "You never tell me what you're thinking and feeling. I always have to pull it out of you like a dentist pulling teeth. Ughhhh!"

*shrugs*

Well, shit, I used to be a LOT worse when I was younger!!!!!

 

[sade]

Personally I'd say it's not about hiding but controlling.
But still, about 80% of emotion isn't expressed, I get complaints for people not knowing what I'm feeling or thinking.

Sometimes I'm caught off guard with my non-other-people-effected expression on my face - those are the closest glimpses that most people will ever get to seeing me, to my emotional atmosphere. Then people will get worried and say: "Are you ok? You look so serious".

Lol. I'm not bound to show my normal facial expression to others, but I get the opposite. I look too serious and composed, and start making others feel uneasy.

 

[plaguerat]

I don't hide them, they're just not there most of the time. If I'm pissed, you'll know it, but I'll also show hapiness if I feel it as well.

Then again, I am an INTJ.

 

[OregonENFP]

I would not be suprised that there is already a slimilar thread.

I am watching NFs(and SFs) on this forum and it looks to me that a number of people is much "softer" then people in reality.

The most obvious conclusion why things look this way is because in reality people really hide their emotions. Probably because they make them vulnerable.

So, how often are you afraid that people will figure out what you are actually feeling?

Also I think that this is one of the main reasons why many Fs can look like Ts in real liife.

We live in a culture that values the standard "Hello, how are you today?" and the predicted answer to that is and should always be "Great, and how are you?" This is the thing that I value most in my European (French particularly) friends. I have this one French friend who says that Americans never actually say what they are really feeling and just live their lives on the surface. So, in many cultures I suppose it's ok to connect in a more 'real' way. I used to live overseas in Europe and I do know that noone pretends to be happy or say 'hello and how are you' unless they're expecting a genuine answer. It's a very 'real' way of relating, however, it's not as 'easy' of a place to be if you're already the outsider living in a culture that doesn't openly welcome you with overly enthusiastic verging on false happiness.

As for my true feelings and how often I express them is probably sadly that I keep my true feelings to myself a lot of the time. I go about relating to people on more surface 'happy go lucky' ways of relating. Sometimes I'm ashamed of my tendency to be introspective and even overly emotional. So, I find it works best for me to just act like a T.

 

[the state i am in]

We live in a culture that values the standard "Hello, how are you today?" and the predicted answer to that is and should always be "Great, and how are you?" This is the thing that I value most in my European (French particularly) friends. I have this one French friend who says that Americans never actually say what they are really feeling and just live their lives on the surface. So, in many cultures I suppose it's ok to connect in a more 'real' way. I used to live overseas in Europe and I do know that noone pretends to be happy or say 'hello and how are you' unless they're expecting a genuine answer. It's a very 'real' way of relating, however, it's not as 'easy' of a place to be if you're already the outsider living in a culture that doesn't openly welcome you with overly enthusiastic verging on false happiness

france does seem wonderfully F-y. they loooove feeling, compared to america. i think myers briggs distribution is really interesting as a way of understanding cultural values, etc. some cultures like japan are wayyyy more focused on honorifics, titles, respect, etc. whereas america propagates this false horribly silly facade of like this customer service myth. the american middle class. it's embarrassing in a lot of ways. it pretends that everyone is treated equal. that good old values of character integrity and solid service are what matter, and, tied to the huge corporate conglomerate entities we have done so well for the world to produce, we are helping squeeze out ingenuity from as many corners of our society (and the world) as possible (yet many of them see it coming and find us laughable). of course, the whole myth is absurd. trying buying into the middle class myth if you're af-am. the weird ethnic immigrant mutations get shockingly strange. the character of work is so defining for a culture.

 

[Riva]

So, how often are you afraid that people will figure out what you are actually feeling?

i have something to say which is a bit out of the topic

emotions are a temporary unimportant mental addiction isn't it?

i mean the more that same emotion occurs, the more addicted you get to it.

if you are a person ho always feel guilty you will actually be addicted to that emotion.

you will not feel complete without it.

so maybe it is good to ignore your emotions.

i admit that hiding emotions is a bad thing. because when you bottle things out it just pops out.

but you shouldn't be drawn to it.

you should just face it, understand it, and the next time you get it do your best not to be attached to it.

am i right or what?

i have a feeling that the NTs would agree with me more. especially the INTPs

 

[Rangler]

If your point is to be mentally healthy, the yes, your right.

 

[Riva]

If your point is to be mentally healthy, the yes, your right.

i knew a NT would agree, but how about the NFs?

 

[civil_disobedience]

I usually hide my emotions because I don't want to complicate things. For example, I rarely talk about negative emotions I feel with friends or family or significant other because I don't want to burden them and it's exhausting to put it all into words only to be misunderstood. Instead, I just fill notebooks up with my emotions whenever I'm alone and try to reason through them and make sense of them there.

At work, I have to hide my emotions frequently, or rather tone them down frequently. I work at a domestic abuse shelter so a lot of what I hear from clients outrages me. It does them no good to see me flipping out about the violence they survived. Instead, I tone it down to sympathetic and calm.



The only emotions I don't hide are the positive ones.

 

[Thursday]

I hide everything unless i have a place or person to express them with
But the times where any powerful emotion are evoked are blue moons and leap years
So you get this very mellow volcano walking around
and when an eruption occurs(for i only let positive emotions out), its intense, but not loud

 

[Lacey]

I've been called "cool, calm, and collected" more times than I can count. In reality, I am a ball of anxiety.

 

[alcea rosea]

So, how often are you afraid that people will figure out what you are actually feeling?

I don't want to show my negative emotions. So, I try to hide them mostly but I'm not afraid of people figuring out what I'm feeling. I just prefer then not seeing and if they do see it then they do.

 

[CrystalViolet]

i have something to say which is a bit out of the topic

emotions are a temporary unimportant mental addiction isn't it?

i mean the more that same emotion occurs, the more addicted you get to it.

if you are a person ho always feel guilty you will actually be addicted to that emotion.

you will not feel complete without it.

so maybe it is good to ignore your emotions.

i admit that hiding emotions is a bad thing. because when you bottle things out it just pops out.

but you shouldn't be drawn to it.

you should just face it, understand it, and the next time you get it do your best not to be attached to it.

am i right or what?

i have a feeling that the NTs would agree with me more. especially the INTPs

I always get the idea that T's like to imply F's are some how weaker than them. However I seriously doubt you could deal with the intensity of emotions I (and some other feelers) feel on a daily basis. You would curl up in little balls and never face the world because it hurts.
Sorry that came across more aggressively than intended, but it more than irritates me when people's emotional states get trivialised. If I could, I would let you walk a day in my shoes, and see how you cope when every feeling you feel has a quite definable physical effect, and see how well you face them then. It's not all in the head. And seriously, you would reconsider guilt being additive emotion....happiness, bliss definitely, but all the negative ones?
Why do you think the NF's work so hard towards pleasing people, and the SF's find so hard to deal to with the darker side of life.
Ever been so nervous, that you throw up? Try living that at level of emotion everyday without letting people know, and tell me it's 1. it's a transient state
2. we like it 3. Feeling emotions is a form of weakness.