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  1. #41
    Senior Member alcea rosea's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by FireyPheonix View Post
    I always get the idea that T's like to imply F's are some how weaker than them.
    Me too. That is why I like to hide some of the emotions I'm having.

    But on the other hand, strong T's really cannot handle strong emotions on other people either. They simply don't know how to react. Few INTP's have even escped the scene when I had one of my temperamental moments.

  2. #42
    lab rat extraordinaire CrystalViolet's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by alcea rosea View Post
    Me too. That is why I like to hide some of the emotions I'm having.

    But on the other hand, strong T's really cannot handle strong emotions on other people either. They simply don't know how to react. Few INTP's have even escped the scene when I had one of my temperamental moments.
    I always get the idea, I'm like a burning sun emotionally wise, from other people.
    I guess in those moments where my vagueness clears, people see an intensity that wasn't guessed at before, which is why I pour so much emotion in journals, art etc. I really do scare people if they even get an inkling of how much I feel.
    Currently submerged under an avalanche of books and paper work. I may come back up for air from time to time.
    Real life awaits and she is a demanding mistress.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  3. #43
    Senior Member alcea rosea's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by FireyPheonix View Post
    I always get the idea, I'm like a burning sun emotionally wise, from other people.
    I guess in those moments where my vagueness clears, people see an intensity that wasn't guessed at before, which is why I pour so much emotion in journals, art etc. I really do scare people if they even get an inkling of how much I feel.
    That is probably the difference between extroverted and introverted feeler. I mean that most of the strong emotions do show even if I try to hide them (sometimes). Really deep emotions I do hide but it's very hard for me.

    With introverted people, they/you seem to be better in hiding their deepest emotions. I don't know if it's true, but it's how I see it. I kind of envy this trait in introverted people.

    When dealing with other people's strong emotions I start to feel their emotions and act accordingly.

  4. #44
    Away with the fairies Southern Kross's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Viv View Post
    Vulnerability to me, is a separate matter. It's truly circumstantial. Depends on the context of the situation. I show that side more, when I feel that there is a sense of acceptance, understanding, when it's appropriate.
    Quote Originally Posted by tibby View Post
    I don't hide my emotions towards and about other people, I hide emotions from and about myself to others.

    I don't like that people can see into me emotionally. I don't express me (I don't mean this in an unauthentic way :F) in front of most people. I express the surface layer easily, just not the core.

    Sometimes I'm caught off guard with my non-other-people-effected expression on my face - those are the closest glimpses that most people will ever get to seeing me, to my emotional atmosphere. Then people will get worried and say: "Are you ok? You look so serious".
    Quote Originally Posted by Lacey View Post
    I've been called "cool, calm, and collected" more times than I can count. In reality, I am a ball of anxiety.


    I feel things very deeply yet rarely display my emotions. I hold them back because I believe that my emotions are primarily for me. I don't supress my feelings, in fact I seek to thoroughly explore and understand them. Its only that I do it in my head rather than outwardly. You don't have to cry to be sad. And its not like I don't talk about what I feel - it just tends to be in a removed, matter-of-fact fashion. I edit my emotions, so to speak. I keep the raw footage to myself and show a polished, controlled version of it to others. Like others have said, I don't generally make myself vulnerable to others - showing raw emotions to others requires a large degree of trust and close relationship.

    Quote Originally Posted by ravana View Post
    i have something to say which is a bit out of the topic

    emotions are a temporary unimportant mental addiction isn't it?

    i mean the more that same emotion occurs, the more addicted you get to it.

    if you are a person ho always feel guilty you will actually be addicted to that emotion.

    you will not feel complete without it.

    so maybe it is good to ignore your emotions.

    i admit that hiding emotions is a bad thing. because when you bottle things out it just pops out.

    but you shouldn't be drawn to it.

    you should just face it, understand it, and the next time you get it do your best not to be attached to it.

    am i right or what?

    i have a feeling that the NTs would agree with me more. especially the INTPs
    I don't think you fully understand what it is to be an F, just in the same way I can't understand what it is to be T. Just because you don't understand it, doesn't make it less real to other person. Emotions just happen to us - we don't seek them out. Yes, sometimes people can be over-indulgent in their emotions, but this is an unhealthy F and is not reflective of the function in general.

  5. #45
    lab rat extraordinaire CrystalViolet's Avatar
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    There are signs...other feelers can tell. I have a very animated face, and a close former co-worker said I seemed to communicate in a special code, my way of phrasing things changed (He had to be an INFP/or ISFP as well) when he knew I was about blow my stack (Happened often at that job). I'd be a bit more terse, and preoccupied, and he just feel unsettled without knowing why.
    MY ex-flatmate used know when I was upset (I stick one of my LOTR DVD's on and not say a thing). Most people have no idea though, not 'till I throw a wobbly.
    Currently submerged under an avalanche of books and paper work. I may come back up for air from time to time.
    Real life awaits and she is a demanding mistress.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  6. #46
    Queen hunter Virtual ghost's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by FireyPheonix View Post
    I always get the idea that T's like to imply F's are some how weaker than them. However I seriously doubt you could deal with the intensity of emotions I (and some other feelers) feel on a daily basis. You would curl up in little balls and never face the world because it hurts.
    Sorry that came across more aggressively than intended, but it more than irritates me when people's emotional states get trivialised. If I could, I would let you walk a day in my shoes, and see how you cope when every feeling you feel has a quite definable physical effect, and see how well you face them then. It's not all in the head. And seriously, you would reconsider guilt being additive emotion....happiness, bliss definitely, but all the negative ones?
    Why do you think the NF's work so hard towards pleasing people, and the SF's find so hard to deal to with the darker side of life.
    Ever been so nervous, that you throw up? Try living that at level of emotion everyday without letting people know, and tell me it's 1. it's a transient state
    2. we like it 3. Feeling emotions is a form of weakness.
    Well you are right Ts have that attitude in many cases. Also you have provided the reasons why would they think that way. So I will connect the dots for Fs. (in the case it is not obvious)

    Your post looks like pure rationalization of a bad/unnecessary traits.
    What you have said is the pure confermation of the "accusation".

    I am very strong T and to me it looks like that a number of feelings (in Fs and Ts) are pure masochism.
    You say that living this life hurts. But why would someone want it to hurt so often? In your post you can almost sense that you want a prize for being able to live your life like this.
    Just because you are able to feel so much that does not mean that you deserve applause for that.
    You say that you would like to see us in your shoes for a day. OK, but why would someone want to be in your shoes?
    What would they gain by this ? The ability to throw up when they are stressed?

    This thread is full of post where people claim that they are hidding their negative emotions. Which is very good indicator that emotional intensity is not something that nice and good.


    As a person I can deal with emotionally intense people without too much problem since I don't sense their pain or joy. I admit that this can frustrate them but this is how things are going for me in life.
    From experiance I know that I can be in a room with 10 people who are crying because a boy was smashed into pieces(literally) and wonder what this people are doing.
    Now I am asking you the same question. What are they doing?
    It is clear that they have a need to express themselfs but that is their subjective need. Doing that will not change the outcome.
    Who actually had it better in that situation, me or them ?


    I am not posting this because I want to be mean to you. I am posting this because I want you to see how this looks like to the opposite perspective.

  7. #47
    Senior Member alcea rosea's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Antisocial one View Post
    As a person I can deal with emotionally intense people without too much problem since I don't sense their pain or joy.
    I'm not sure you can. I mean, don't they make you feel confused because you don't see their behavior as rational? I remember you wrote about not understading feeling people....

    See - other feelers understand it without trying to rationalize it. And why rationalizing it? Feelings are not rational and people are certainly not rarional even if wanting to be 100% rational.

    I think many T's oversimplify emotions and they think they can be empathic by deciding to be empathic.

  8. #48
    Queen hunter Virtual ghost's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by alcea rosea View Post
    I'm not sure you can. I mean, don't they make you feel confused because you don't see their behavior as rational? I remember you wrote about not understading feeling people....

    See - other feelers understand it without trying to rationalize it. And why rationalizing it? Feelings are not rational and people are certainly not rarional even if wanting to be 100% rational.

    I think many T's oversimplify emotions and they think they can be empathic by deciding to be empathic.


    Here is how I see it. I don't understand Fs and how they operate internally.
    But the reactions of Fs are quite logical in many cases. People cry when they are sad, they laugh when they are happy and they shouting at you when they are angry.

    This is actually the only thing you really need to know. (I am oversimplifing)

    Once you know that it is not too hard to trace why they are feeling that way.

    I don't see their behaviour as rational but it would be irrational to clam that this is something totally unacceptable. Since this is your natural framework.
    Strong T does not feel uncomfortable in emotional sitautions since he/she does not feel the sitautions. The more F you add the more uncomfortable the situation will be for a T. Until you hit the point where the person just blends in.

    What makes you think that I (or some other T) thinks that they are empathic? There is no way that I am empathic as a person. The only thing I am claiming is that I can deal with this and I don't find emotions particually confusing.

    I don't understand the feeling itself but I understand what will case which feeling and how each person will react to given situation. What means that I use N qute alot here.

    However just because I understand all of this that does not mean that I will always respect their feelings. Especially if I see that their feeling leads to disaster/problem of some kind.

  9. #49
    resonance entropie's Avatar
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    When I was younger, I was overly sensitive to many little things. But with age I came to know that other people actually feel the the same way about things like I did / do.

    Today I am still sensitive and can be used pretty good as a mirror for your own mood, cause I am likely to adapt it. It just doesnt strike me too hard though, if someone has got a different way of approaching things that could make me feel sad. One day you just accept the fact, there are people that are just dumb.

    What is a problem for me though is business life. I think I am going to suck at it like forever. All this pretending to be nice, while knowing they stab you in the back, if they can, really sucks bigtime. I think for my future work place, I have to find a team in which competence is the most important part, like a construction team or software developers. A team that would concern with for instance communication or selling products, I would rather suck at
    [URL]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEBvftJUwDw&t=0s[/URL]

  10. #50
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    Quote Originally Posted by FireyPheonix View Post
    I always get the idea that T's like to imply F's are some how weaker than them. However I seriously doubt you could deal with the intensity of emotions I (and some other feelers) feel on a daily basis. You would curl up in little balls and never face the world because it hurts.
    Sorry that came across more aggressively than intended, but it more than irritates me when people's emotional states get trivialised. If I could, I would let you walk a day in my shoes, and see how you cope when every feeling you feel has a quite definable physical effect, and see how well you face them then. It's not all in the head. And seriously, you would reconsider guilt being additive emotion....happiness, bliss definitely, but all the negative ones?
    Why do you think the NF's work so hard towards pleasing people, and the SF's find so hard to deal to with the darker side of life.
    Ever been so nervous, that you throw up? Try living that at level of emotion everyday without letting people know, and tell me it's 1. it's a transient state
    2. we like it 3. Feeling emotions is a form of weakness.
    as an INFP I understand what you are saying, however I think that the ENTP poster had a point, definitely. i have learned that as a feeler you can place too much importance on your emotions and this is not good. we as NFs have things to learn from NTs. Namely that life is not solely defined by emotions. Getting "stuck" into our emotions is a big problem and is not necessary. I for one wish I had the ability of a T to separate myself sometimes!

    also, negative emotions can be addictive. i believe that to some extent choosing to dwell in emotions is a choice. i still have a hard time not doing it though. But i believe there is a balance to strike between emotions and thought. Feelings usually do not reflect the full reality of a situation and it benefits everyone to learn to look at things from all angles. and believe, me, I am definitely an INFP.

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