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  1. #31
    Member OregonENFP's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Antisocial one View Post
    I would not be suprised that there is already a slimilar thread.

    I am watching NFs(and SFs) on this forum and it looks to me that a number of people is much "softer" then people in reality.

    The most obvious conclusion why things look this way is because in reality people really hide their emotions. Probably because they make them vulnerable.

    So, how often are you afraid that people will figure out what you are actually feeling?

    Also I think that this is one of the main reasons why many Fs can look like Ts in real liife.
    We live in a culture that values the standard "Hello, how are you today?" and the predicted answer to that is and should always be "Great, and how are you?" This is the thing that I value most in my European (French particularly) friends. I have this one French friend who says that Americans never actually say what they are really feeling and just live their lives on the surface. So, in many cultures I suppose it's ok to connect in a more 'real' way. I used to live overseas in Europe and I do know that noone pretends to be happy or say 'hello and how are you' unless they're expecting a genuine answer. It's a very 'real' way of relating, however, it's not as 'easy' of a place to be if you're already the outsider living in a culture that doesn't openly welcome you with overly enthusiastic verging on false happiness.

    As for my true feelings and how often I express them is probably sadly that I keep my true feelings to myself a lot of the time. I go about relating to people on more surface 'happy go lucky' ways of relating. Sometimes I'm ashamed of my tendency to be introspective and even overly emotional. So, I find it works best for me to just act like a T.

  2. #32
    Senior Member the state i am in's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by OregonENFP View Post
    We live in a culture that values the standard "Hello, how are you today?" and the predicted answer to that is and should always be "Great, and how are you?" This is the thing that I value most in my European (French particularly) friends. I have this one French friend who says that Americans never actually say what they are really feeling and just live their lives on the surface. So, in many cultures I suppose it's ok to connect in a more 'real' way. I used to live overseas in Europe and I do know that noone pretends to be happy or say 'hello and how are you' unless they're expecting a genuine answer. It's a very 'real' way of relating, however, it's not as 'easy' of a place to be if you're already the outsider living in a culture that doesn't openly welcome you with overly enthusiastic verging on false happiness

    france does seem wonderfully F-y. they loooove feeling, compared to america. i think myers briggs distribution is really interesting as a way of understanding cultural values, etc. some cultures like japan are wayyyy more focused on honorifics, titles, respect, etc. whereas america propagates this false horribly silly facade of like this customer service myth. the american middle class. it's embarrassing in a lot of ways. it pretends that everyone is treated equal. that good old values of character integrity and solid service are what matter, and, tied to the huge corporate conglomerate entities we have done so well for the world to produce, we are helping squeeze out ingenuity from as many corners of our society (and the world) as possible (yet many of them see it coming and find us laughable). of course, the whole myth is absurd. trying buying into the middle class myth if you're af-am. the weird ethnic immigrant mutations get shockingly strange. the character of work is so defining for a culture.

  3. #33
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    Quote Originally Posted by Antisocial one View Post
    So, how often are you afraid that people will figure out what you are actually feeling?
    i have something to say which is a bit out of the topic

    emotions are a temporary unimportant mental addiction isn't it?

    i mean the more that same emotion occurs, the more addicted you get to it.

    if you are a person ho always feel guilty you will actually be addicted to that emotion.

    you will not feel complete without it.

    so maybe it is good to ignore your emotions.

    i admit that hiding emotions is a bad thing. because when you bottle things out it just pops out.

    but you shouldn't be drawn to it.

    you should just face it, understand it, and the next time you get it do your best not to be attached to it.

    am i right or what?

    i have a feeling that the NTs would agree with me more. especially the INTPs

  4. #34
    Senior Member Rangler's Avatar
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    If your point is to be mentally healthy, the yes, your right.
    R[a]ngl[e]r

  5. #35
    Riva
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rangler View Post
    If your point is to be mentally healthy, the yes, your right.
    i knew a NT would agree, but how about the NFs?

  6. #36
    Junior Member civil_disobedience's Avatar
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    I usually hide my emotions because I don't want to complicate things. For example, I rarely talk about negative emotions I feel with friends or family or significant other because I don't want to burden them and it's exhausting to put it all into words only to be misunderstood. Instead, I just fill notebooks up with my emotions whenever I'm alone and try to reason through them and make sense of them there.

    At work, I have to hide my emotions frequently, or rather tone them down frequently. I work at a domestic abuse shelter so a lot of what I hear from clients outrages me. It does them no good to see me flipping out about the violence they survived. Instead, I tone it down to sympathetic and calm.



    The only emotions I don't hide are the positive ones.
    "Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other's eyes for an instant?"--Thoreau

  7. #37
    Earth Exalted Thursday's Avatar
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    I hide everything unless i have a place or person to express them with
    But the times where any powerful emotion are evoked are blue moons and leap years
    So you get this very mellow volcano walking around
    and when an eruption occurs(for i only let positive emotions out), its intense, but not loud
    I N V I C T U S

  8. #38
    Senior Member Lacey's Avatar
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    I've been called "cool, calm, and collected" more times than I can count. In reality, I am a ball of anxiety.

  9. #39
    Senior Member alcea rosea's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Antisocial one View Post
    So, how often are you afraid that people will figure out what you are actually feeling?
    I don't want to show my negative emotions. So, I try to hide them mostly but I'm not afraid of people figuring out what I'm feeling. I just prefer then not seeing and if they do see it then they do.

  10. #40
    lab rat extraordinaire CrystalViolet's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ravana View Post
    i have something to say which is a bit out of the topic

    emotions are a temporary unimportant mental addiction isn't it?

    i mean the more that same emotion occurs, the more addicted you get to it.

    if you are a person ho always feel guilty you will actually be addicted to that emotion.

    you will not feel complete without it.

    so maybe it is good to ignore your emotions.

    i admit that hiding emotions is a bad thing. because when you bottle things out it just pops out.

    but you shouldn't be drawn to it.

    you should just face it, understand it, and the next time you get it do your best not to be attached to it.

    am i right or what?

    i have a feeling that the NTs would agree with me more. especially the INTPs
    I always get the idea that T's like to imply F's are some how weaker than them. However I seriously doubt you could deal with the intensity of emotions I (and some other feelers) feel on a daily basis. You would curl up in little balls and never face the world because it hurts.
    Sorry that came across more aggressively than intended, but it more than irritates me when people's emotional states get trivialised. If I could, I would let you walk a day in my shoes, and see how you cope when every feeling you feel has a quite definable physical effect, and see how well you face them then. It's not all in the head. And seriously, you would reconsider guilt being additive emotion....happiness, bliss definitely, but all the negative ones?
    Why do you think the NF's work so hard towards pleasing people, and the SF's find so hard to deal to with the darker side of life.
    Ever been so nervous, that you throw up? Try living that at level of emotion everyday without letting people know, and tell me it's 1. it's a transient state
    2. we like it 3. Feeling emotions is a form of weakness.
    Currently submerged under an avalanche of books and paper work. I may come back up for air from time to time.
    Real life awaits and she is a demanding mistress.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

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