[Fe] Fe=but I want it now!

[cascadeco]

Yeah I don't think this is an Fe/Fi thing, think it's an individual thing

 

[Tilt]

Yeah I don't think this is an Fe/Fi thing, think it's an individual thing

Yeah totally agreed. Also, one could make the argument that for some Fe objectives, constant communication (small talk) can be seen as a waste of time and effort. I only contact people when I find something amusing or eventful.

 

[Yama]

I don't talk to people I'm not already friends with

Even then I don't talk very often to all but like three of my friends

And within those three friends maybe it's once a week or so

But my best friend I have to talk to at least twelve times an hour

It's at the point where if I go more than a few hours without updating him about my mundane life events he gets worried something's wrong

 

[sculpting]

Yeah I don't think this is an Fe/Fi thing, think it's an individual thing

There may be something about having both Fi AND Si that can make one a bit more prone to this behavior.

I once noted an INFP saying "The people I love most are my imaginary friends" I note myself that I can feel incredibly attached to people I havent seen decades or even people I have never met and do not need to be in the vicinity of another person to love them. When I see them again, it is like being refreshed and not a day has gone by.

I once pondered if Si may create a facsimile of sorts, basically a captured image of the people that I interact with, that I carry with me as part of my cognitive make up. The more I know them, the more rich that image is, and something that can be used to understand them more fully. You once described post it notes as "Se" observations that you might use Ni to build an understanding out of.

In this case the Si abstraction is held as the starting point and I use Ne to extrapolate predictive possibilities from it.

The flaw is that it assumes continuity in behavior and I have found those who tends towards the Se/Ni side of things can shift far more abruptly than these Si templates can adjust, so I work very hard now days to recognize the flaws and incorrect assumptions that can derive from a template misapplied


There are risks in having it entangled into my own sense of self, if that makes sense.

 

[Kheledon]

I'm chock full of Fe and I can go months and months not seeing a friend and when I do it's right back into the groove of things. I think about them and it's not that I don't want to see them but life gets in the way. I too suck at keeping in touch (even with email and social sites and such) but I do have my friends always at an accessible place right at the front of things. I suppose for me if they are there in that space then I know everything is alright. But as for feeling lonely if I don't see them physically...nope that doesn't really happen. Sorry if I'm messing up the theory at all. My Fe is primary of course and it still is very much like this for me and always has been.

Same here. Precisely. I recognize that this bothers other types on occasion, but I desire and need stable interpersonal relationships as an ENFJ, and I assume my interpersonal relationships are stable unless there's reason to believe otherwise. As a result, I behave in much the same way as you describe in your post (for better or for worse).

 

[SearchingforPeace]

I can get really bad with out of sight, out of mind. I only have so much energy for non in person socializing and I don't need those far away so much.

At the same time, I easily connect with others in person. If I see someone I haven't seen in months, we go back to great instantly.

I try to reconnect occasionally, but if they are not physically close, I get too involved with those that are.....

 

[geedoenfj]

So I was thinking of my best friend who's and INFP so she can be my example. Maybe I'd see her today. Then tomorrow I'd probably miss her. And I keep having to renew ... feel lonely I suppose when someone isn't present at a particular time even if I saw them recently it can feel like a long time ago.
She on the other hand could go for I'm betting months without seeing someone and still feel just as close to them or content.
Same like I could watch something I liked over and over and over again and I actually have to stop myself from doing it before I wear whatever it is out, where she would watch a movie once and say, I've seen it why would I see it again?

So are these differences between Fe and Fi? I guess is my question or is it just me
I am a bit jealous that Fi can really hold on to .. feeling or emotion (or appears to correct me if I'm wrong and probably oversimplifying) and I have to go looking for it every 5 minutes.

You remind me of my INFP sister and her INFJ best friend who were very close friends since KG, they even look alike and I remember that her friend was more clingy and often get jealous if she sense that any other girl is trying to be friends with my sister
One day her family left to another city over night due to war circumstances so she lost contact with her for a while, my sister was obviously sad and wished to know anything about her, then my father kept tracking and was able to reach to her family and get their phone number, my sister was so happy and when they talked, the INFJ was happy crying the entire phone call, and kept telling her how bad she miss her, and that she wake up at night while sleeping and start crying, she lost weight and things like that, my INFP sister never did any of that, she simply missed her and that's all.. they're still in fact best friends even though they're living in different countries..
Now talking about myself as an ENFJ, needless to say Fe domain, I don't have that connection with anyone I met, I mean there are people that I love and miss so bad but often more like how my INFP sister misses them, however, I also watch something that I like for 30 times or something hahaha and if it is emotional it can still bring tears to me over and over again..
So it's either the Fe function performs this mode with an INFJ, or it depends on the individual not on the Fe Fi domains

 

[cascadeco]

There may be something about having both Fi AND Si that can make one a bit more prone to this behavior.

I once noted an INFP saying "The people I love most are my imaginary friends" I note myself that I can feel incredibly attached to people I havent seen decades or even people I have never met and do not need to be in the vicinity of another person to love them. When I see them again, it is like being refreshed and not a day has gone by.

I once pondered if Si may create a facsimile of sorts, basically a captured image of the people that I interact with, that I carry with me as part of my cognitive make up. The more I know them, the more rich that image is, and something that can be used to understand them more fully. You once described post it notes as "Se" observations that you might use Ni to build an understanding out of.

In this case the Si abstraction is held as the starting point and I use Ne to extrapolate predictive possibilities from it.

The flaw is that it assumes continuity in behavior and I have found those who tends towards the Se/Ni side of things can shift far more abruptly than these Si templates can adjust, so I work very hard now days to recognize the flaws and incorrect assumptions that can derive from a template misapplied


There are risks in having it entangled into my own sense of self, if that makes sense.

Yeah it does seem like, and I have read here on the forums by other NeSi users, that NeSi does have more of a template, and also seems slower to change and to accept certain changes, especially in other people, esp once a template is started. So something that doesn't quite fit the template can be questioned, and create confusion due to NeSi need to update template, where there wouldn't necessarily even be that confusion with another NiSe user;it's like an extra step, kind of (iow there's this confusion re not fitting the template, when from NiSe pov it's like, dude, it's not my fault you didn't get your template right! Stop giving me a hard time re not fitting your faulty template! ). I think it just doesn't make sense to them, given how they are? Anyway I agree NiSe can seem much more abrupt and 'sudden' in making shifts, to the observer. That's good that you've learned some of the pitfalls of relying on your template too heavily.

I'm someone who also can go long lengths of time without needing to be in touch, and then once I reconnect it's as if that time hadn't passed, or was irrelevant in a lot of ways. But I have a feeling my view of this is different from yours, and it's tied to the template thing, or lack of. I'm not sure I have a template per se; or rather I trust in the connection but I also don't exactly hold 'expectations' around them being just like they were the last time I talked. So I'm not really surprised by much or will quickly assimilate new things. ie it's been months or a year or so, of course they may have shifted some in what they think or are doing. Not saying you have expectations btw, just not sure how to phrase it.

 

[Kheledon]

I can get really bad with out of sight, out of mind. I only have so much energy for non in person socializing and I don't need those far away so much.

At the same time, I easily connect with others in person. If I see someone I haven't seen in months, we go back to great instantly.

I try to reconnect occasionally, but if they are not physically close, I get too involved with those that are.....

Hear! Hear! We ENFJs are much better and much more effective one-on-one. We "feel" other people better in person (probably because most communication is non-verbal).

 

[geedoenfj]

Hear! Hear! We ENFJs are much better and much more effective one-on-one. We "feel" other people better in person (probably because most communication is non-verbal).

I prefer to connect either on person or writing, I hate talking on the phone or to the camera, it makes me feel awkward like I'm talking to the wall or something..
However I managed to often use speaker when talking on the phone and pretending that I'm talking to them on person, I find it to be more comfortable..

 

[five sounds]

I think what Fe is the right now-est with is reacting to emotions or convictions. Most Fe users I can think of kind of give me this feeling from time to time. While Fi can have a strong reaction and suddenly get reactive, Fe does this on a much smaller, less calculated scale. Like Fe needs to instantly react and intervene to every thing that rubs them wrong.