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[ENFJ] Male ENFJs?

Cronkle

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Well, you can congregate here happily. What trials or tribulations do you face in your day-to-day life?

Anyway, I'm also curious who you think are male ENFJs, I saw a list or two, but I'm not sure of the accuracy. I read an article about George Clooney and he seemed like a mature ENFJ.
 

OrangeAppled

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I heard John Cusack is one :wubbie:
 
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I heard John Cusack is one :wubbie:

rick_fonzie.jpg
 

Cronkle

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I can see that, especially in High Fidelity. He has the ENFJ charm, he talks with his hands, and how fast he talks in monologues when he gets excited remind him of me.

Don't know if this has anything to do with anything, but I think we both have a serious, emotionless face that makes people delighted when we show emotion and brighten it up! A girl I knew (ENTP) said that she felt she had to "earn my smiles."
 

SpottingTrains

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Well, you can congregate here happily. What trials or tribulations do you face in your day-to-day life?

For me it's simply trying to keep everyone I interact with happy and coping with the blow-back when it doesn't work out. It isn't as black and white as the previous sentence makes it out to be but I feel that when people are in a negative mood it really drains me. In order to counter this I try to do everything I can to make the situation better.

I guess on a more personal emotional level I have a great deal of trouble showing true emotion. I believe this is more a variety of factors that range from trust in people to the family environment I grew up in.

Not sure if this was exactly what you wanted :p
 

Domino

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I believe George Clooney is in fact an ENFJ. At least that's the prevailing consensus. That's what I took him to be.

John Cusack is an INFJ, I think. Though I've debated ENFJ before. Close enough, certainly.
 

IEE623

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Abraham Lincoln is one too :)
Everything the book "How to Win Friends and Influence People" mentioned are pretty much ENFJ's traits.
 

Domino

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I'm not sure how the males control themselves. As a woman, I think I may be naturally tempered to rein myself in, but if I were a male ENFJ, I'd be hell on wheels. The inclination to conquer/conquest (not people in particular) would be so strong.
 

SpottingTrains

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The inclination to conquer/conquest (not people in particular) would be so strong.

It isn't the idea of conquer or conquest that is overbearing it is the idea we hold in our head. Everything else done is merely a symptom of trying to reach this goal.
 

Domino

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It isn't the idea of conquer or conquest that is overbearing it is the idea we hold in our head. Everything else done is merely a symptom of trying to reach this goal.

Intriguing. Explain further?
 

SpottingTrains

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Ideas are the currency that my mind runs on. It needs to be constantly refilled in order to function. Without this currency I grow tired, restless, and just get overall cranky.

When an idea is inserted into my mind I go into overdrive mode and I will think of everything else as secondary until this new idea has seen life or I reevaluate it and find that it isn't what I thought it was going to be.

This is why ENFJ's make amazing entrepreneurs when devoted an idea. Though the same drive also makes us unstable CEOs once the company becomes stable because of the lack of new ideas.
 

Cronkle

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I'm not sure how the males control themselves. As a woman, I think I may be naturally tempered to rein myself in, but if I were a male ENFJ, I'd be hell on wheels. The inclination to conquer/conquest (not people in particular) would be so strong.

Oh boy, you should have seen me in the gym today. :wubbie::wubbie:

(There's nothing devious; I don't think people understand that, I'd feel empty if whomever I was with sexually or otherwise was uncomfortable in any way; so there's not really any manipulation. I don't see how knowing how to make people happy and how to come to beneficial compromises strikes others as manipulation.)

EDIT: Other ENFJs, watch out for how easily you can rationalize something away. I think this is when the stepping back objectively really helps. Maybe some deviousness, but the end goal is good: to make people happy; problem is the ends justify the means approach that is often used to the ENFJs personal value system. But maybe I've just been alone too long tonight!
 

Cronkle

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Ethan Hawke, what an ENFJ! Gentle, abstract, people-focused.

YouTube - Ethan Hawke Interview

And I really see it in Samuel L. Jackson, the benevolent, adjusting-himself-cause-of-energy-but-trying-to-be-polite, turn-on-the-charm-when-I-feel-like-it side.

YouTube - Samuel L Jackson interview for Resurrecting the Champ

Ahhhh-why-am-I-here-this-is-awkward, but-I'm-going-to-try-to-be-charming side of ENFJ
YouTube - Ben Affleck Interview

I retract Clooney's ENFJ ness. This makes Clooney seem ENTJ; he seems to be oblivious to the mean, smug comments he's making to John. I don't know any ENFJs who are oblivious to people's feelings! Watch the Basketball part at ~3:20; John seems to be an uncomfortable ENFJ: notice how he makes comments about being polite. And how he reacts at 4:15: decisive, emotional, and trying to be polite at the same time.
YouTube - Unscripted: John Krasinski & George Clooney

Watch this if you think John's introverted:
YouTube - John Krasinski - lawn dart story
 

Domino

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Oh boy, you should have seen me in the gym today. :wubbie::wubbie:

hahah, how YOU doin'? :D

(There's nothing devious; I don't think people understand that, I'd feel empty if whomever I was with sexually or otherwise was uncomfortable in any way; so there's not really any manipulation. I don't see how knowing how to make people happy and how to come to beneficial compromises strikes others as manipulation.)

It's difficult for non-Fe users to understand that we're not manipulating them. People really do intrigue or fascinate me, and not because I think they're "hot" or something. If I REALLY like someone, I get very specific and only have eyes for them. I'm a hard sell in the first place, so if I get to the "riveted" stage, you've got my full attention and I'm not thinking about anyone else.

Making people happy in a general sense, I think, has nothing to do with manipulation and everything to do with being sure everyone is comfortable and enjoying themselves. :yes:

EDIT: Other ENFJs, watch out for how easily you can rationalize something away. I think this is when the stepping back objectively really helps. Maybe some deviousness, but the end goal is good: to make people happy; problem is the ends justify the means approach that is often used to the ENFJs personal value system. But maybe I've just been alone too long tonight!

I'm glad I have other loving people around me to rein me in sometimes. I have a very cautious nature, but if I get the devil in me, it can be trouble.
 

Cronkle

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hahah, how YOU doin'? :D



It's difficult for non-Fe users to understand that we're not manipulating them. People really do intrigue or fascinate me, and not because I think they're "hot" or something. If I REALLY like someone, I get very specific and only have eyes for them. I'm a hard sell in the first place, so if I get to the "riveted" stage, you've got my full attention and I'm not thinking about anyone else.

Making people happy in a general sense, I think, has nothing to do with manipulation and everything to do with being sure everyone is comfortable and enjoying themselves. :yes:



I'm glad I have other loving people around me to rein me in sometimes. I have a very cautious nature, but if I get the devil in me, it can be trouble.

:hug:
 

Domino

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Hugs for me! Yay! :hug: :D
 

The Third Rider

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Ideas are the currency that my mind runs on. It needs to be constantly refilled in order to function. Without this currency I grow tired, restless, and just get overall cranky.

When an idea is inserted into my mind I go into overdrive mode and I will think of everything else as secondary until this new idea has seen life or I reevaluate it and find that it isn't what I thought it was going to be.

This is why ENFJ's make amazing entrepreneurs when devoted an idea. Though the same drive also makes us unstable CEOs once the company becomes stable because of the lack of new ideas.
Ideas? In my case they are goals (may be you mean the same thing). I NEED goals, I cannot function without them, when ever I accomplish a goal I get static and happy about it but a few minutes later when I realize that I no longer have a "direction" I get almost depressed. In a matter of minutes you can see me going from happy to sad so I soon try to get me get me a new goal and strive to achieve it, whatever it might be. From what I say about myself I am very laid back and care free which I find kind of weird since pink sounds like she bounces off of walls.:D
 

SpottingTrains

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Ideas? In my case they are goals (may be you mean the same thing). I NEED goals, I cannot function without them, when ever I accomplish a goal I get static and happy about it but a few minutes later when I realize that I no longer have a "direction" I get almost depressed. In a matter of minutes you can see me going from happy to sad so I soon try to get me get me a new goal and strive to achieve it, whatever it might be. From what I say about myself I am very laid back and care free which I find kind of weird since pink sounds like she bounces off of walls.:D

Yeah, I called it an idea just to leave it broad in scope. Goals would be one of its natural forms.
 
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