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Thread: Ask an ENFJ

  1. #1
    Senior Member Cronkle's Avatar
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    Default Ask an ENFJ

    I seem to be pretty dern rare, judging by post titles; feel free to take the opportunity to talk to one of us ENFJ caught in the wild.

  2. #2
    a scream in a vortex nanook's Avatar
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    what importance has a coherent worldview to you, and what do you do or avoid to maintain or grow your worldview. do you seek inspiration rather from people and situations (eg humor, satirical observations) or from more concrete sources like the internet, books about psychology, philosophy etc.

    why are you so shy or disinterested in exposing your current hold on ideas in a group discussion, unless you finally want to insert an appeal. yeah, you are a feeling type and therefore sensitive about having your position attacked by ignorants, you would not be able to defend your position spontaneously as conflict distracts you from depth of insight and you would have to fight your way out with shallow dialectic/rhetoric. but that is true for introverted feeling types and they cant be stopped by it.

    are you anywhere close to sanity? how can one develop an independent personality, when one is living his whole live in the field of remote-perception (how others see you)? how can you ever allow yourself to face and publish negative traits, without glorifying them and demonstratively acting them out, to prove that they are either beyond your influence altogether, or totally in your control - both of which creates the illusion that you are not at fault. how or where can you hide from the accusing and demanding eyes of others, without hiding from yourself?

  3. #3
    a scream in a vortex nanook's Avatar
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    please dont hurt yourself while answering these questions.
    in fact you don't have to answer them at all.
    but these are the "enfj questions" that are generally on my mind, when i think about enfj
    i am NiFe by the way, so we are alike in theoretical ways, but the priorities are very mixed up, which usually leads to very different perspectives.

  4. #4
    Senior Member Cronkle's Avatar
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    Fulfilling relationships and passion give my life meaning and I greatly enjoying helping people on a one-to-one level, so I'm going to do Americorps, the domestic version of the American program Peace Corps.

    I've read much about nearly everything, I literally wear down library cards--checking out staggering amounts of books, music, and movies--I'm just as likely to read poetry as neuroscience. Lately, I really enjoy non-fiction: essays, autobiographies, biographies; learning about a person or something practical about the world is key.

    In High School, I kept track of what I was checking out from the library, here are some of the books, it may be an interesting insight into how ENFJ minds work

    http://evan.redraccoondog.com/books

    Coherent worldview: probably some sort of manifestation of humanism, insofar as I'm exceedingly kind to everyone I meet! I really identify with existentialism; specifically, this video. YouTube - Existentialism - Waking Life excerpt I also think I'm sort of a pantheistic deist; however, sometimes that seems pretentious to say aloud and I just say freethinker, since its as accurate without having to explain a lot.

    Reluctance to volunteer opinion: I think its because I value tact and am a very sensitive person so I try to do what I would want others to do to me. The Sermon on the Mount, Golden Rule, Categorical Imperative.

    Seeking Inspiration: definitely people are great to talk about ideas Ive read in books. For example, I have three books checked out on personality type right now, and eagerly apply it to day-to-day interaction. I feel sort of empty if Im not around people for long periods.

    Sanity: Well, maybe; I do definitely take other's opinions into consideration, but I don't live by them. I'm tactful, but feel a bit empty when I have to hesitate from showing my true, authentic self.

    Negative traits: I don't hide from these, I openly ask people for what my negative traits are to try to grow as a person.

    "I am wiser than they in this small respect: that I know that I do not know, whereas they think they know something when they really don't." --Socrates

    "I don't want to be an ant. You know? I mean, it's like we go through life with our antennas bouncing off one another, continuously on ant autopilot, with nothing really human required of us. Stop. Go. Walk here. Drive there. All action basically for survival. All communication simply to keep this ant colony buzzing along in an efficient, polite manner. "Here's your change." "Paper or plastic?' "Credit or debit?" "You want ketchup with that?" I don't want a straw. I want real human moments. I want to see you. I want you to see me."
    --Waking Life

  5. #5
    Te > Fi > Ni Shaula's Avatar
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    I have read in a (non-serious) book that it is speculated that if one was to type a utopian society it would most likely be ENFJ. What are your thoughts on this? If the world was nothing but ENFJs could you as an ENFJ survive in that world happily?

    Quote Originally Posted by Cronkle View Post
    In High School, I kept track of what I was checking out from the library, here are some of the books, it may be an interesting insight into how ENFJ minds work

    http://evan.redraccoondog.com/books
    You're a little weird, but I like that. Have you thought of using Good Reads? I have an ENFJ friend who uses it.
    Is not to be held accuntable for peeling errors.

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    Senior Member Cronkle's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shaula View Post
    I have read in a (non-serious) book that it is speculated that if one was to type a utopian society it would most likely be ENFJ. What are your thoughts on this? If the world was nothing but ENFJs could you as an ENFJ survive in that world happily?


    You're a little weird, but I like that. Have you thought of using Good Reads? I have an ENFJ friend who uses it.
    I'm not sure, since each person plays a part in the world. I'm definitely a intuitive, friendly (NF) person, but I see the benefits of NT rationality, SJ structure and, SP artistic achievement.

    Nonetheless, I do get giddy when I meet a fellow idealists since we tend to get along swimmingly.

    I would use it, but it seems tedious and clerical to put in all the books I've read.

    P.S.Only a little weird? You must not know me ;]

  7. #7
    Te > Fi > Ni Shaula's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cronkle View Post
    I'm not sure, since each person plays a part in the world. I'm definitely a intuitive, friendly (NF) person, but I see the benefits of NT rationality, SJ structure and, SP artistic achievement.
    Yes we NTs are great at playing the role of taking over the world. And it wouldn't be managable without the blind faith of the SJs to assert our oppression, the NFs to spread our idealistic propaganda, and the SPs to make everything asthetically pleasing.

    Quote Originally Posted by Cronkle View Post
    P.S.Only a little weird? You must not know me ;]
    And you do not know how wierd I am!
    Is not to be held accuntable for peeling errors.

  8. #8
    a scream in a vortex nanook's Avatar
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    a reading list of verry impressive volume. i dont know most of the stuff. "Killing yourself to Live" is a theme that strongly resonates with me. my Fe-personality is not friendly or attentive towards my individuality. i dare to expose the weirdest traits in theory, but never in action. there is this overprotective samurai who "protects" a starved child that is locked into a cage.... rather than being an advocat for it's live.

    a different thought:

    i have been wondering about what kind of violence (external force) could make an extroverted child develop in such a way, that it forms an apparently introverted behavior and self image. no answer could be true for all extroverted types alike.

    since enfj-extroversion is based on emotionality and energetic space, i theorized that strong open emotional abuse (through parents) would craze but also sensitize that extroversion, so the child would rather become a rebel than suppressed. an enneagram two who lives in disintegration which is eight, according to theory.

    so my next thought is, that suppression of enfj-extroversion might be "achieved" (sorry, if I sound like an INTJ *g*) by total removal of social/empathic response, rather than active emotional abuse. if the parents were perfectionists (eg STJ temperament) who are both emotionally and psychologically "unavailable" (like: non-existant) the enfj child may turn into something, that resembles and isfp. any thoughts?

  9. #9
    Senior Member Cronkle's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shaula View Post
    Yes we NTs are great at playing the role of taking over the world. And it wouldn't be managable without the blind faith of the SJs to assert our oppression, the NFs to spread our idealistic propaganda, and the SPs to make everything asthetically pleasing.


    And you do not know how wierd I am!

    Very well said! I agree. When given the opportunity, NFs use their charm to be put in positions of presige, but need NTs to make sure they aren't making irrational mistakes. The SJs and SPs are more for smoothing out bureaucracy and entertainment.

    NT & NF love

  10. #10
    Senior Member Cronkle's Avatar
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    I think I was much more introverted in high school, since I didn't want to offend anyone, coupled with being insecure, not to mention the horror of pimples and undeniable appeal of boobs. I think I'm far more confident, since I'm living on my own and in college where I'm around like-minded people.

    I'm sorry, I don't really understand what you're asking; my mom is an ESFJ and my dad is an ENFP, and I had a happy childhood. Nothing traumatic happened. Does that help?

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