User Tag List

First 12345 Last

Results 21 to 30 of 109

Thread: Ask an ENFJ

  1. #21
    Senior Member Cronkle's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Posts
    161

    Default

    :]]

    One of my best friends is an INFP, I really admire her. Best of luck

  2. #22
    Senior Member the state i am in's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    MBTI
    infj
    Enneagram
    5w4 sx/sp
    Posts
    2,460

    Default

    what's the difference between male enfjs and male infjs? i want to know what dominant Fe is like. i think male enfj is one of the only types that might be even more awkward for masculine gender roles than male infj. especially! when unhealthy. do you consider yourself to have an "explosive" personality?

    also, do you personally think billy corgan is an enfj?

    ps i've read all tom robbins, some palahniuk, all kurt vonnegut, all tom wolfe's essay books (not his novels). bukowski makes me think of the red hot chili peppers song mellowship slinky in b major. oh, los angeles!

  3. #23
    Senior Member Cronkle's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Posts
    161

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by the state i am in View Post
    what's the difference between male enfjs and male infjs? i want to know what dominant Fe is like. i think male enfj is one of the only types that might be even more awkward for masculine gender roles than male infj. Especially! when unhealthy. do you consider yourself to have an "explosive" personality?

    also, do you personally think billy corgan is an enfj?

    ps i've read all tom robbins, some palahniuk, all kurt vonnegut, all tom wolfe's essay books (not his novels). bukowski makes me think of the red hot chili peppers song mellowship slinky in b major. oh, los angeles!

    I don't know! I haven't met any male INFJs that I know of--I know being around people really makes me happy and if don't I start to get depressed. There's a certain energy I feel when everyone's happy and I'm out in the world.
    I do play a strange role, masculine wise. My INFP friend said I had a "confident, yet gentle demeanor." I will be like, "That asshole. He needs a hug."The characteristic short, clipped speech of a man with the sort of feminine love-yness. I'm very sensitive, so I think I may tone down the emotional side of me around men to avoid being ridiculed.
    Yes, I guess I'm very explosive; I'm very calm, but if it comes out I know exactly where to place the dagger, which crevice will cause maximum pain--what their weakpoint is. But I rarely need to! That only comes out when someone personally attacks me or something I stand for. For example, my fist starts to clench when people talk about childhood molestation or things like that.

    I haven't ever Billy Corgan seen him in person or on video, I always thought he was mysterious and inward from magazine pictures.

    I put an incident as a footnote so you don't have to read it if you don't want to[1]

    P.S. I'm not good at answering open-ended questions, if you narrow your question's focus you'll get a much better answer from me.
    [1]

    My dad and I ordered the same meal at Boston Market. At the counter, I received a coupon that said buy one get one free for the same meal.

    Me: Hey, dad, you should go back that meal you just bought is free with this coupon.
    Dad: ok..

    My dad talks to the guy and he says "we will accept the coupon--we always accept coupons."

    We are about to take the food back and the guy says "oh wait--no, no, no; you have to come back and use that coupon the next time."

    I say, "Oh--so you're going to waste our food and not honor our coupon?"
    and the guy stammers, "Y-y-yes, we have to do our coupons this way."

    That's obviously an appeal to emotion and not logic. Logically, I step back and realize that I could have been less abrupt, or even step back further and realize that it's their policy, but that's how it goes as an emotional person.

    ---
    P.S. II Hurray for Belle & Sebastian

  4. #24
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    MBTI
    eNFJ
    Enneagram
    4w3 sx/so
    Socionics
    eNFJ Ni
    Posts
    11,443

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by The Outsider View Post
    If you were romantically interested in someone a lot more reserved, private and shy, how would you show it?
    You grab them, inform them that this is a hostile take-over and that the spankings start in 2 minutes, so prepare thyself!

    Ha. No.

    I instigated contact through tormenting him. Nothing bad. Just little anonymous notes left around for him to find, teasing him mercilessly. He enjoyed it. He was very very introverted, needed a little friendly coercion.
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
    Neutral Good
    EII-Fi subtype, Ethical/Empath, Delta/Beta
    RLUEI, Choleric/Melancholic
    Inquistive/Limbic
    AIS Holland code
    Researcher: VDI-P
    Dramatic>Sensitive>Serious

  5. #25
    Senior Member SpottingTrains's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    MBTI
    ENFJ
    Enneagram
    3w2
    Socionics
    EIE
    Posts
    446

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by nanook View Post
    what importance has a coherent worldview to you, and what do you do or avoid to maintain or grow your worldview.
    A coherent world view in my opinion is something that is of very delicate nature and it not something simply gained by chance or inspiration. I spend a good portion of my day reading a myriad of articles/blogs/whatever in order to improve my understanding of the world and each day I find a new piece that fits. I'm literally plagued with the idea that there is something I don't know that could radically shape my view of the world and my vice is information.

    Quote Originally Posted by nanook View Post
    do you seek inspiration rather from people and situations (eg humor, satirical observations) or from more concrete sources like the internet, books about psychology, philosophy etc.
    I take inspiration from anything that stands the test of what I hold ideal in my mind. I love the idea of gaining inspiration from situations and people but in practice I haven't found it to be as fulfilling. I find that reading an expert's blog post conveys so much more information and I can digest the information so much quicker.

    Everything I do in life, I have been criticized for this by a good friend (though he finds it funny more than anything), I hold up to a set of ideals in my mind that I constantly judge things against.

    When I watch a movie I ask myself if this movie will impart anything upon me. This can range from being life lessons to emotional knowledge or scientific. It doesn't matter, as long as I feel that I will gain something positive from my time spent. I apply this metric to any media- books probably the most. I read a lot but I only read books that I know will be well worth the time spent. On a more somber note I also tend to apply this to people as well.

    Quote Originally Posted by nanook View Post
    why are you so shy or disinterested in exposing your current hold on ideas in a group discussion, unless you finally want to insert an appeal. yeah, you are a feeling type and therefore sensitive about having your position attacked by ignorants, you would not be able to defend your position spontaneously as conflict distracts you from depth of insight and you would have to fight your way out with shallow dialectic/rhetoric. but that is true for introverted feeling types and they cant be stopped by it.
    1. More people = more to hurt with what we would say. I hate causing discord in any situation and I will try to avoid it unless I feel a certain person is already causing discord among the group then I won't hold back on what I believe / feel.


    2. More people = more people to understand. Personally, I find it hard to be interested in a group conversation unless I have feelings for the topic or people involved.

    You are very true about us chucking in our 2 cents at the end of a discussion, this simply boils down to the fact that we know where everyone stands and we don't feel threatened anymore by tossing in our view (or tossing in a view that fits with the current crowd- not a sign of a healthy enfj). I don't do this often as if I don't initially feel compelled by the conversation I will spend my time analyzing the people involved and less of what they are actually saying. Eg. Reactions and expressions. This isn't something I am cognizant of but something I have figured out after quite some time of personal inspection.

    Quote Originally Posted by nanook View Post
    are you anywhere close to sanity?
    Yes.

    Quote Originally Posted by nanook View Post
    how can one develop an independent personality, when one is living his whole live in the field of remote-perception (how others see you)?
    Trying to understand this one. Are you trying to ask how we can maintain our own independent personality while trying to conform to how we think other people want to view us?

    I don't think this is a healthy for an ENFJ at all but I will admit that I have developed this trait in excess and I have done it without being aware at all. But to answer your question I feel that I haven't encountered any hurdles in developing my own individual personality. The bigger challenge is finding someone who can trust enough to share it with.

    Quote Originally Posted by nanook View Post
    how can you ever allow yourself to face and publish negative traits, without glorifying them and demonstratively acting them out, to prove that they are either beyond your influence altogether, or totally in your control - both of which creates the illusion that you are not at fault. how or where can you hide from the accusing and demanding eyes of others, without hiding from yourself?
    I think everyone attempts at a certain level to hide certain emotions they feel . I recently read Malcolm Gladwell's book 'Blink' and it divulges that people cannot fully control the emotions that register on their faces.

    I don't know how to exactly answer this question. The best I can say is that I know I am flawed- everyone is. I accept this about me but that doesn't mean I don't try to find ways to make myself a better person. One of my biggest tells is when I see another person being belittled or what have you my face will look like I want to rip off your someones head and wave it around in effigy of joy. Again, I find this question hard to answer : /

  6. #26
    Senior Member SpottingTrains's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    MBTI
    ENFJ
    Enneagram
    3w2
    Socionics
    EIE
    Posts
    446

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by The Outsider View Post
    If you were romantically interested in someone a lot more reserved, private and shy, how would you show it?
    It really depends on the that person's personality. Personally, I like to joke around a lot so if I am saying a lot of stupid/funny things around you and having a good time it at least means I enjoy your company. If this is interposed with the 'dreaded ENFJ stare' that looks like we are trying examine your soul then I would say that there could very well be some feelings there :p

  7. #27
    Babylon Candle Venom's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Enneagram
    1w9 sp/sx
    Posts
    2,128

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Cronkle View Post
    i really wish i had done something like that... i went through a phase in middle school, where i read every "classic" i could get my hands on. I wish I could remember how many/and or what books i actaully consumed (it gets old simply having to say, "there was a time when I read a lot")

  8. #28
    Senior Member Cronkle's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Posts
    161

    Default

    :]

  9. #29
    Senior Member Cronkle's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Posts
    161

    Default

    Hm, now that I have some fine ENFJs assembled here--I want to ask what they think of the trait of hastiness. (Which is what I think my worst habit is.) Does it categorize you?

    If so, what do you do about it?

  10. #30
    Senior Member SpottingTrains's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    MBTI
    ENFJ
    Enneagram
    3w2
    Socionics
    EIE
    Posts
    446

    Default

    I don't think this is necessarily a trait of ENFJs but I can definitely relate. I absolutely hate spending more time than necessary on a certain task and look for ways to maximize my time so I can finish tasks faster. This isn't to say I don't enjoy the details- I do. I just wouldn't want to waste time on something that I feel was useless or didn't have a proportional payoff to the amount of time invested.

    So in opinion you should just embrace it, you will find yourself fighting off boredom if you try to do it any other way. Just make sure your hastiness isn't leading to sub-par work.

Similar Threads

  1. [ENFJ] How to spot an ENFJ a mile off
    By LostInNerSpace in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 175
    Last Post: 08-10-2017, 12:26 AM
  2. [ENFJ] Ask an ENFJ
    By Garab in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 86
    Last Post: 04-05-2016, 11:40 AM
  3. [ENFJ] Hate an ENFJ? Tell us why!
    By proteanmix in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 548
    Last Post: 03-03-2016, 02:16 AM
  4. Ask an ENFJ here too!
    By Cronkle in forum The Bonfire
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 03-21-2009, 11:12 AM
  5. [ENFJ] An ENFJ social power player
    By UnitOfPopulation in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 06-13-2008, 04:11 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO