User Tag List

First 891011 Last

Results 91 to 100 of 109

Thread: Ask an ENFJ

  1. #91
    Junior Member civil_disobedience's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    9w1
    Posts
    16

    Default

    I love that you quoted Socrates on that particuliar statement...
    and you're signing up for the Americorps.
    Let's be best friends.

    Hmm.. So an ask an ENFJ? Don't mind if I do! My roommate (formerly best mate) is an ENFJ.. but she will no longer talk to me (she is cold as ice!)
    as:

    1.)She got religion which, apparently I don't.
    2.)She is not fond of my gentleman caller.

    So. How does an ENFJ typically deal with value disagreements with cherished friends? Is this they way it goes?
    What's the best way to approach the issue?
    "Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other's eyes for an instant?"--Thoreau

  2. #92
    Senior Member Cronkle's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Posts
    161

    Default

    Value disagreements with friends usually involves some way of me getting along with them, generally losing a little ground for the sake of a healthy relationship. If it gets too bad, it'll get to the point where I give up, then I'll just avoid them.

    I can't handle negativity. It's more to protect their feelings than anything.

    People tell me I'm too polite. :/

  3. #93
    Senior Member SpottingTrains's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    MBTI
    ENFJ
    Enneagram
    3w2
    Socionics
    EIE
    Posts
    446

    Default

    I've never had a problem understanding how other people can hold different values. Though to be fair I have never had a friend who was religious. I can see that if religion played such a central part in her life that it could make her doubt your status as friends if you don't see the same thing...I think when people get different interests in life, no matter what their type, they begin to move apart.

  4. #94
    Senior Member SpottingTrains's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    MBTI
    ENFJ
    Enneagram
    3w2
    Socionics
    EIE
    Posts
    446

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Cronkle View Post
    Value disagreements with friends usually involves some way of me getting along with them, generally losing a little ground for the sake of a healthy relationship. If it gets too bad, it'll get to the point where I give up, then I'll just avoid them.

    I can't handle negativity. It's more to protect their feelings than anything.

    People tell me I'm too polite. :/
    Yes, I am the same way.

  5. #95
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    MBTI
    eNFJ
    Enneagram
    4w3 sx/so
    Socionics
    eNFJ Ni
    Posts
    11,443

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by civil_disobedience View Post
    I love that you quoted Socrates on that particuliar statement...
    and you're signing up for the Americorps.
    Let's be best friends.

    Hmm.. So an ask an ENFJ? Don't mind if I do! My roommate (formerly best mate) is an ENFJ.. but she will no longer talk to me (she is cold as ice!)
    as:

    1.)She got religion which, apparently I don't.
    2.)She is not fond of my gentleman caller.

    So. How does an ENFJ typically deal with value disagreements with cherished friends? Is this they way it goes?
    What's the best way to approach the issue?
    Not seeing eye to eye is never a good enough reason for me to drop a close friend. Granted, when people "get religion", sometimes it's extremely difficult to reach the person you once knew. That may pass as she gets more mature in her new faith. Not liking your boyfriend is another matter. I've not liked many of my best gfs' choices of men, and there's been rows about it because I care and can't stand to see a great girl get tangled up with a jerk, but ultimately, I had to step back and say, "They're adults. They can make their own decisions" and just tried to love my friend and not be around that guy as much as possible.

    I can't imagine just dropping a friend with out an explanation. My friends mean everything to me.
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
    Neutral Good
    EII-Fi subtype, Ethical/Empath, Delta/Beta
    RLUEI, Choleric/Melancholic
    Inquistive/Limbic
    AIS Holland code
    Researcher: VDI-P
    Dramatic>Sensitive>Serious

  6. #96
    Junior Member civil_disobedience's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    9w1
    Posts
    16

    Default

    Thanks for the replies.. I'll talk to her when I can work up the guts.. I'd hate to make things worse. I loathe conflict.
    "Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other's eyes for an instant?"--Thoreau

  7. #97
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    MBTI
    eNFJ
    Enneagram
    4w3 sx/so
    Socionics
    eNFJ Ni
    Posts
    11,443

    Default

    Don't psyche yourself out with the idea you might make things worse. Just wait until you feel calm and/or ready, and go for it.
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
    Neutral Good
    EII-Fi subtype, Ethical/Empath, Delta/Beta
    RLUEI, Choleric/Melancholic
    Inquistive/Limbic
    AIS Holland code
    Researcher: VDI-P
    Dramatic>Sensitive>Serious

  8. #98
    Senior Member Neutralpov's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    MBTI
    EnfJ
    Enneagram
    1w2 so/sx
    Socionics
    EII
    Posts
    311

    Default values conflict

    Quote Originally Posted by civil_disobedience View Post
    I love that you quoted Socrates on that particuliar statement...
    and you're signing up for the Americorps.
    Let's be best friends.

    Hmm.. So an ask an ENFJ? Don't mind if I do! My roommate (formerly best mate) is an ENFJ.. but she will no longer talk to me (she is cold as ice!)
    as:

    1.)She got religion which, apparently I don't.
    2.)She is not fond of my gentleman caller.

    So. How does an ENFJ typically deal with value disagreements with cherished friends? Is this they way it goes?
    What's the best way to approach the issue?


    A values conflict of that deep a nature will KILL/choke out my caring for a person. If you are in violation of something that serious and meaningful I cannot help it. Religion changes have been too deep and seriously fracturing imo. But I am a recovering Christian and man that stuff is bad from my experience and I can't be around the people who are negative energy or opposite energy in such a deep issue and judging! Sorry but being a J and intense about deep values that is just what will quench the relationship. It is also unpleasant to be around the boyfriend it looks like for her and we don't like unpleasant feelings. Double whammy may overload the poor ENFJ here.
    Extroverted (E) 67.74% Introverted (I) 32.26%
    Intuitive (N) 51.72% Sensing (S) 48.28%
    Feeling (F) 51.61% Thinking (T) 48.39%
    Judging (J) 69.44% Perceiving (P) 30.56%

    Type 1 Perfectionism |||||||||||||||||||| 83%
    so/sx/sp

  9. #99
    Senior Member Neutralpov's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    MBTI
    EnfJ
    Enneagram
    1w2 so/sx
    Socionics
    EII
    Posts
    311

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Cronkle View Post
    Hm, yes, I do have good friends. But they are very few, and I tend to feel like I'm the putting much more effort into the relationship than them. But c'est la vie.

    I wish people were more gentle and loving and authentic, yes.

    Have you found a way to solve this. I totally agree and it sucks! What are we ENFJ's to do?
    Extroverted (E) 67.74% Introverted (I) 32.26%
    Intuitive (N) 51.72% Sensing (S) 48.28%
    Feeling (F) 51.61% Thinking (T) 48.39%
    Judging (J) 69.44% Perceiving (P) 30.56%

    Type 1 Perfectionism |||||||||||||||||||| 83%
    so/sx/sp

  10. #100
    Junior Member Dailtone's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Posts
    21

    Default

    What do you find hopelessly irresistible in a person of the opposite gender? In a a) romantic sense b) sexual sense

    How far would you go to be with 'The One'? Would you expect "The One" to make the moves to be with you?
    Hero Archetype Test ...
    You are the Creator

    Goal: Identity
    Fear: Inauthenticity
    Response to Dragon/Problem: Claim it as part of the self
    Task: self-creation, self-acceptance
    Gift: Individuality, vocation
    Addictions: Work, creativity

Similar Threads

  1. [ENFJ] How to spot an ENFJ a mile off
    By LostInNerSpace in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 175
    Last Post: 08-10-2017, 12:26 AM
  2. [ENFJ] Ask an ENFJ
    By Garab in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 86
    Last Post: 04-05-2016, 11:40 AM
  3. [ENFJ] Hate an ENFJ? Tell us why!
    By proteanmix in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 548
    Last Post: 03-03-2016, 02:16 AM
  4. Ask an ENFJ here too!
    By Cronkle in forum The Bonfire
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 03-21-2009, 11:12 AM
  5. [ENFJ] An ENFJ social power player
    By UnitOfPopulation in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 06-13-2008, 04:11 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO