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  1. #1
    Glycerine
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    Default Do NFJs tend to be the most private types?

    I've noticed that all the NFPs I know tend to open up more than the 3 or 4 NFJs that I know. INFJ's are supposed to like self-disclosure but it only seems to be on a need-to-know basis . For example, I had hung out with someone regularly for three months straight and they didn't realize that I had siblings. Also, I've noticed with the self-disclosure thing, I will talk a lot but much of what i say is very on the surface. I've also noticed this with other NFJs. Also, i will get really mad if my parents tell other people of my accomplishments and my future plans (even though its not that private). Is this typical for other NFJs?

  2. #2
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    INxJs are the most private in my experience. It's one of the biggest differences I've noticed between Ni and Ne.

  3. #3
    Glycerine
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    Quote Originally Posted by pippi View Post
    INxJs are the most private in my experience. It's one of the biggest differences I've noticed between Ni and Ne.
    Oh yeah, I totally forgot how reserved INTJs usually are. Good call!

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    4x9 cascadeco's Avatar
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    Really? Huh, I guess I see it differently. Maybe it's a matter of what people consider as private.

    To me, the NFJ's that I know (including myself) are quite open about themselves. The key is that they require people to seek the information out, and to actually ask questions of them. They don't just voluntarily start spewing out personal details - they need to know the audience is interested in and receptive to hearing it. Opinions might be more closely held, as opinions tend to be more volatile depending on the audience. But personal life details? I think NFJ's can be quite open. The other thing with NFJ's would be the tendency to seek others out, so they might naturally be wanting to learn about the other person, so tend to get other people to start talking a lot .... but then don't have the same questions asked to them in turn. Hence, because they don't voluntarily start talking about themselves, they might be perceived (rightly so? I don't know) as private.

    I've actually found INFP's (and maybe the INT's to an extent, just in a different way) to be more private in the sense of personal life details and things close to them. Sure, the Ne might inspire more talkativeness and a tendency to not hold opinions as closely (less wary and less care/concern for whether the other person jives with them or not?), but when it comes to them sharing about their life and feelings? They don't respond very much to questions. They share in their own time...but I don't think it can be easily solicited. At least in my experience. I think solicitation can be easy with NFJ's, as long as there's trust built up.
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    Wild Card Atomic Fiend's Avatar
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    I'm as private as the news.

  6. #6
    Seriously Delirious Udog's Avatar
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    Tough call. INFJs tend to be pretty open about many things... things I'd be mortified to talk about to all but 1 or 2 people. As long as you ask them, they'll talk about it.

    However, INFJs, perhaps more than any other type, leave large chunks of themselves buried.

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    Cat Wench ReadingRainbows's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Udog View Post
    Tough call. INFJs tend to be pretty open about many things... things I'd be mortified to talk about to all but 1 or 2 people. As long as you ask them, they'll talk about it.

    However, INFJs, perhaps more than any other type, leave large chunks of themselves buried.
    Correct, the INFJ is one of the most secretive types, I think its from what I consider to be private, is not private to others.
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    Senior Member MrME's Avatar
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    I value my alone time above most things and I do require a considerable amount of time to recharge. In that way, I am extremely private. But, in conversations with friends and even acquantainces, I don't mind revealing truths about myself. Granted, there are a number of personal things that I would never discuss (and I'm sure this is the same with everybody), but even those subjects could be breached if somebody I trusted enough approached me in the "correct" manner. (I put quotes around "correct" because I don't know how else to put it. I don't know, specifically, what the correct manner would be. Hopefully I'll know it when I see it. )

    Cetain social situations will make me completely clam up, however. Parties, for one. But, that's an entirely different discussion.
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  9. #9
    Glycerine
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    Quote Originally Posted by Udog View Post
    Tough call. INFJs tend to be pretty open about many things... things I'd be mortified to talk about to all but 1 or 2 people. As long as you ask them, they'll talk about it.

    However, INFJs, perhaps more than any other type, leave large chunks of themselves buried.
    You hit the nail right on the head. (in bold) I think that was what I meant by "private". But then again, individual differences probably play into how private someone is.

    hmmm... it depends. For me, as long as there isn't a strong personal connection to said topic, ask away. Things about my romantic life, my past, my closely held beliefs (religion or politics), my friends, and my family.... I'm a bit cautious about it.

  10. #10
    Glycerine
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    Quote Originally Posted by cascademn View Post
    Really? Huh, I guess I see it differently. Maybe it's a matter of what people consider as private.

    To me, the NFJ's that I know (including myself) are quite open about themselves. The key is that they require people to seek the information out, and to actually ask questions of them. They don't just voluntarily start spewing out personal details - they need to know the audience is interested in and receptive to hearing it. Opinions might be more closely held, as opinions tend to be more volatile depending on the audience. But personal life details? I think NFJ's can be quite open. The other thing with NFJ's would be the tendency to seek others out, so they might naturally be wanting to learn about the other person, so tend to get other people to start talking a lot .... but then don't have the same questions asked to them in turn. Hence, because they don't voluntarily start talking about themselves, they might be perceived (rightly so? I don't know) as private.

    I've actually found INFP's (and maybe the INT's to an extent, just in a different way) to be more private in the sense of personal life details and things close to them. Sure, the Ne might inspire more talkativeness and a tendency to not hold opinions as closely (less wary and less care/concern for whether the other person jives with them or not?), but when it comes to them sharing about their life and feelings? They don't respond very much to questions. They share in their own time...but I don't think it can be easily solicited. At least in my experience. I think solicitation can be easy with NFJ's, as long as there's trust built up.
    Thank you for the insight. From what I've read so far on this thread, I might be wrong I had a limited number of NFJs that I've observed and used some of my personal behavior to make a hypothesis about this. Ironically, several people IRL have told me that I'm a reserved person and that I'm very hard to get to know. Also, i was thinking about my ENFJ teacher vs. the three XNFP teachers I've had. I learned much more about the XNFP teachers through casual classroom discussions than I have about the ENFJ teacher

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