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  1. #11
    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
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    I think I might be backwards. Because when I'm joking about being angry everyone tells me to calm down, but when I am actually angry no one does anything.
    In no likes experiment.

    that is all

    i dunno what else to say so

  2. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by prplchknz View Post
    I think I might be backwards. Because when I'm joking about being angry everyone tells me to calm down, but when I am actually angry no one does anything.
    Like I said, invest in a nice Craftsman hammer. I was only partially kidding.

    After all, it's hard to dismiss someone with a crazed look in their eye, and a nice shiny hammer in their hand.

  3. #13
    Plumage and Moult proteanmix's Avatar
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    prpl, I don't know what to say.

    On one hand, when I see someone's really upset I don't necessarily go to them because I don't know what type of angry person they are. Some people get angry and snap at people or start yelling at you for being concerned. It's happened many times to me, so unless you're someone I'm tight with I'll note you're angry but probably won't do anything.

    How have you responded to people who have inquired about your emotional state before when you're angry? Have you lashed out at them or clammed up? Maybe they're responding to you based on your prior treatment to them. I wouldn't necessarily say they're ignoring you. You may not be on there radar, or they may not feel it's their place to ask about you...it's so much that can be going on that I wouldn't just outright say they don't care.

    Who do you expect to respond to you? What type of response do you expect? Are you talking about a family member, close friend, or any random person?
    Relationships have normal ebbs and flows. They do not automatically get better and better when the participants learn more and more about each other. Instead, the participants have to work through the tensions of the relationship (the dialectic) while they learn and group themselves and a parties in a relationships. At times the relationships is very open and sharing. Other time, one or both parties to the relationship need their space, or have other concerns, and the relationship is less open. The theory posits that these cycles occur throughout the life of the relationship as the persons try to balance their needs for privacy and open relationship.
    Interpersonal Communication Theories and Concepts
    Social Penetration Theory 1
    Social Penetration Theory 2
    Social Penetration Theory 3

  4. #14
    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
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    Friend, and yeah I guess I do clam up a bit.
    In no likes experiment.

    that is all

    i dunno what else to say so

  5. #15
    Plumage and Moult proteanmix's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by prplchknz View Post
    Friend, and yeah I guess I do clam up a bit.
    You expect the friend to respond? OK, then my next thoughts are how comfortable does your friend feel about experiencing that part of you. Like me, I don't think anyone really wants to deal with me when I'm angry except family members and a couple of brave and fearless friends cause, uh, I'm somewhat of a sight to behold.

    Ahh, so that could be a little bit of it. If you clam up some people may figure it's useless and do nothing. Also when I'm mad as hell, I know the people around me who are responsive and go to them. Innocents don't get maimed like that.
    Relationships have normal ebbs and flows. They do not automatically get better and better when the participants learn more and more about each other. Instead, the participants have to work through the tensions of the relationship (the dialectic) while they learn and group themselves and a parties in a relationships. At times the relationships is very open and sharing. Other time, one or both parties to the relationship need their space, or have other concerns, and the relationship is less open. The theory posits that these cycles occur throughout the life of the relationship as the persons try to balance their needs for privacy and open relationship.
    Interpersonal Communication Theories and Concepts
    Social Penetration Theory 1
    Social Penetration Theory 2
    Social Penetration Theory 3

  6. #16
    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
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    I don't expect anyone to respond, just that it be nice to be acknowledged. I mean even a "shut the fuck up you whiney bitch/get over it" would be nice of course then that would probably elicit a "Fuck you!" from me. Anything but a joke or laughter.
    In no likes experiment.

    that is all

    i dunno what else to say so

  7. #17
    Plumage and Moult proteanmix's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by prplchknz View Post
    I don't expect anyone to respond, just that it be nice to be acknowledged. I mean even a "shut the fuck up you whiney bitch/get over it" would be nice of course then that would probably elicit a "Fuck you!" from me. Anything but a joke or laughter.
    Unfortunately, some a lot of people don't know how to deal with strong negative emotions. The best they can do is crack a joke or ignore it. Sorry boo.
    Relationships have normal ebbs and flows. They do not automatically get better and better when the participants learn more and more about each other. Instead, the participants have to work through the tensions of the relationship (the dialectic) while they learn and group themselves and a parties in a relationships. At times the relationships is very open and sharing. Other time, one or both parties to the relationship need their space, or have other concerns, and the relationship is less open. The theory posits that these cycles occur throughout the life of the relationship as the persons try to balance their needs for privacy and open relationship.
    Interpersonal Communication Theories and Concepts
    Social Penetration Theory 1
    Social Penetration Theory 2
    Social Penetration Theory 3

  8. #18
    Senior Member Moiety's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Biaxident View Post
    Like I said, invest in a nice Craftsman hammer. I was only partially kidding.

    After all, it's hard to dismiss someone with a crazed look in their eye, and a nice shiny hammer in their hand.
    It's also hard to dismiss someone with a gun in his/her hands, doesn't mean we should carry the things around everywhere. At the risk of sounding condescending, violence or threats are not the answer at all. At least imo.

  9. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sytpg View Post
    It's also hard to dismiss someone with a gun in his/her hands, doesn't mean we should carry the things around everywhere. At the risk of sounding condescending, violence or threats are not the answer at all. At least imo.

    Condescend away, I am oblivious to condescension. And you're correct, it isn't the answer, at least not all the time. Most people yell, scream, and talk big, but don't follow through. Verbalization seems to take the edge off.

    I was being facetious, although atypical behavior may lead people to realize something has upset you.

  10. #20
    Senior Member ThatsWhatHeSaid's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by digesthisickness View Post
    that said, i picked up that you were angry, but it came off as more 'just frustrated'. like a nap would help. not a dropkick to someone's throat.
    I agree with that. The title and the line about dictators makes it seem like you YOURSELF are saying "it's not a big deal. Look, I'll add a few jokes or cutesy things in so this doesn't become awkward."

    I kinda think you do that a lot in general, (based on Vent interaction) so it would kind of make sense that people wouldn't take you that seriously when you got angry, ESPECIALLY if you soften it yourself with lines like the dictator one.

    I think there's some more stuff, but you're not asking for a total psychological break down, and it's not really my place.

    Kind of like digest said...if you let people feel awkward and a little afraid, you'll command much better attention. A lot of it has to do with body language, tone, and word choice, but it all flows very naturally if you give yourself permission to take people out of their comfort zones.

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